People are fundamentally sheep - isn’t that what we’re always told? Sure, everyone likes to think that they are an individual and that they make individual decisions about what they do and how they choose to act, but the reality is that most of what we do is heavily influenced by the behaviour of others.
This is human behaviour, which is herd-like. As social creatures, what we do or don’t do is often based on what others are doing or not doing. People don’t really think about their actions. In fact, Mark Earls, a leading human behaviour and strategy expert, would argue that very often thinking comes after the fact - people act and process it later. He would also say that there’s not much point in asking people why they do what they do, because they don’t actually know.
Now, the trick is to harness the power of human behaviour to create successful business strategies and to build powerful brands. If you consider the power of crowd mentality in your strategies (which perhaps goes a little against conventional wisdom about how people make choices) you are virtually guaranteed to have a strategy that will succeed. Why? Simply because you will be able to develop strategies that work by understanding peoples’ behaviour. You will understand how new ideas really catch on and are disseminated, and how to create momentum and longevity behind your strategic objectives - whatever these may be.
Considering people are the number one resource in business today, it’s surprising how little we consider the true nature of human beings within the scope of business strategy. A century ago, the main resource of a business was capital which bought the things a business needed to thrive such as land, materials, transport and so forth. Today though, up to 85% of the economy in developed countries is based on human interaction at a variety of levels.
This is why it’s important to understand human behaviour and to shape strategy around it - because people (staff, customers, suppliers and distributers etc) are an essential resource in today’s business world.
Mark Earls challenges strategists to really think about things. In an eBook entitled Understanding How Behaviour Shapes Strategy, he discusses his thinking on the subject of people and strategy. Thing is, our misconceptions about human behaviour and why people do things is what fundamentally undermines most strategies. A different view of people may just change the rules for forward-thinking businesses.
Earls contends that while Marketing attempts to shape mass behaviour, its attempts are poor. This is shown by the fact that most new products fail within the first year, and the ones that survive struggle to make any long-lasting or substantial impact on the consumers’ behaviour. He goes on to say that the reason for this is perhaps that our interpretation of what causes human behaviour and how to shape it is wrong.
Earls says there are two views that are fundamentally flawed in our understanding of what shapes behaviour. Firstly, we think that to change behaviour we need to change minds when in fact the opposite is true. The second mistake we make is thinking that ideas and behaviour spread through “the corridors of influence”, through ‘The Few’ when in fact it is ‘The Many’ that really make the difference.
When you consider the relationship between attitudes and behaviour, how new ideas and habits get formed and how to create the momentum that creates real and lasting change you will find that the best strategies take human behaviour into account. Strategies in fact only work if they change human behaviour. Whether you are dealing with staff, customers, investors or others, you first have to understand how people work and how new ideas catch on to appreciate what makes for successful business strategies.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
20 GOOD THINGS MEN SHOULD ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIP
There are approximately twenty things that all men should know about love, sex, dating and marriage.
1. Persistence is Flattering… Then it becomes annoying, and finally, downright creepy. Men don’t like to be considered quitters, but sometimes we’ve got no other option.
2. Women’s Lib Does Not Include Going Dutch. Most women still appreciate a guy to pick up the check. If she insists on paying half, let her, otherwise you’ll risk appearing inflexible, chauvinistic, and disagreeable.
3. Women Love a Man Who Talks About His Family. It means he is close to them and cares about them, and even more importantly, it means he might one day be into having one of his own. But don’t take this as an invitation to be a mama’s boy!
4. Women Love a Man With a Plan… One who is not afraid to hold a baby, and one who can pull off wearing a clean white t-shirt.
5. Don’t Push Her Off of the Porn Train. Some women don’t like pornography, some do, and some feel left out (cheated on) because he hides it from her like some sort of dirty secret. Sometimes sharing is the best policy.
6. If She Cuts the Night Short… She might really need to cut something else. Men and women are both human after all, so if she calls the night short, don’t just assume she doesn’t want you to call again. Sometimes emergencies do come up.
7. Women Don’t Want Us to Solve All Their Problems… Sometimes they just want us to listen, repeat and understand!
8. If She Cheats, You Deserved It (In Her Mind). Cheating is shaky ground for any relationship, but research shows that women who cheat do so as a direct result of feeling unloved, unappreciated and entitled to happiness. Now you know, and now you know how to do something about it.
9. Squeezing Her Breasts is Not Foreplay. Most women prefer a touch and gentle caress.
10. Women Have Hair in Strange Places. If your girl doesn’t have any of the signs of being a disciple of Bigfoot, appreciate the time she has spent to get rid of it.
11. She Knows You’re Lying. Women have the uncanny ability to read people, according to some research, which comes from the motherly necessity to read her baby’s needs by looking at facial expressions and vocal patterns. Women know when we’re lying, so why bother?
12. When She is Feeling Down and Irritable… Give her a big hug, rather than busting her hump for being grumpy. This is an instant invitation to her good side (assuming you didn’t cause the bad feelings in the first place).
13. Thank You Goes a Long Way. Studies suggest that in lopsided relationships, the overworked partner will remain satisfied as long as the other partner remembers to say “Thank you.” This isn’t about telling you how to take advantage of her, but rather about appreciating her for everything she does.
14. Women Still Like… Being asked on a proper date. Don’t get lazy in today’s age of information technology. Sometimes the best way to do things is the old fashioned way!
15. A Woman’s Breasts Swell Up to 25% During Good Sex. This is her body’s way of seducing/attracting/urging the man to finish with a finale… so don’t disappoint her. Interestingly, some research also suggests the smaller the breasts, the more dramatic the size increase will be.
16. Don’t Mention PMS… Unless asking to buy her pads at the store. Don’t use her biology to explain her bad mood. This is just simple common courtesy.
17. Women Prefer Macho to Date and Sensitive to Marry. Men can actually dictate the types of women they attract by how much they express their masculine side vs. their sensitive. Who knew that dodging commitment could be so easy!
18. Women Like Spontaneity. Whisking her away on a weekend trip on short notice is spontaneous. Showing up fifteen minutes late and asking “So, what do you want to do now?” is not!
19. She is Less Excited About Receiving Lingerie Than You Are About Giving It. They say that women love shiny things, but when it comes to glimmering showgirl costumes, not all are as excited to climb aboard your fantasy train.
20. Cleaning and Doing the Dishes… Is one of the sexiest things you can do to get her in the mood. Try it. I swear, I’m not being paid to tell you this stuff!
1. Persistence is Flattering… Then it becomes annoying, and finally, downright creepy. Men don’t like to be considered quitters, but sometimes we’ve got no other option.
2. Women’s Lib Does Not Include Going Dutch. Most women still appreciate a guy to pick up the check. If she insists on paying half, let her, otherwise you’ll risk appearing inflexible, chauvinistic, and disagreeable.
3. Women Love a Man Who Talks About His Family. It means he is close to them and cares about them, and even more importantly, it means he might one day be into having one of his own. But don’t take this as an invitation to be a mama’s boy!
4. Women Love a Man With a Plan… One who is not afraid to hold a baby, and one who can pull off wearing a clean white t-shirt.
5. Don’t Push Her Off of the Porn Train. Some women don’t like pornography, some do, and some feel left out (cheated on) because he hides it from her like some sort of dirty secret. Sometimes sharing is the best policy.
6. If She Cuts the Night Short… She might really need to cut something else. Men and women are both human after all, so if she calls the night short, don’t just assume she doesn’t want you to call again. Sometimes emergencies do come up.
7. Women Don’t Want Us to Solve All Their Problems… Sometimes they just want us to listen, repeat and understand!
8. If She Cheats, You Deserved It (In Her Mind). Cheating is shaky ground for any relationship, but research shows that women who cheat do so as a direct result of feeling unloved, unappreciated and entitled to happiness. Now you know, and now you know how to do something about it.
9. Squeezing Her Breasts is Not Foreplay. Most women prefer a touch and gentle caress.
10. Women Have Hair in Strange Places. If your girl doesn’t have any of the signs of being a disciple of Bigfoot, appreciate the time she has spent to get rid of it.
11. She Knows You’re Lying. Women have the uncanny ability to read people, according to some research, which comes from the motherly necessity to read her baby’s needs by looking at facial expressions and vocal patterns. Women know when we’re lying, so why bother?
12. When She is Feeling Down and Irritable… Give her a big hug, rather than busting her hump for being grumpy. This is an instant invitation to her good side (assuming you didn’t cause the bad feelings in the first place).
13. Thank You Goes a Long Way. Studies suggest that in lopsided relationships, the overworked partner will remain satisfied as long as the other partner remembers to say “Thank you.” This isn’t about telling you how to take advantage of her, but rather about appreciating her for everything she does.
14. Women Still Like… Being asked on a proper date. Don’t get lazy in today’s age of information technology. Sometimes the best way to do things is the old fashioned way!
15. A Woman’s Breasts Swell Up to 25% During Good Sex. This is her body’s way of seducing/attracting/urging the man to finish with a finale… so don’t disappoint her. Interestingly, some research also suggests the smaller the breasts, the more dramatic the size increase will be.
16. Don’t Mention PMS… Unless asking to buy her pads at the store. Don’t use her biology to explain her bad mood. This is just simple common courtesy.
17. Women Prefer Macho to Date and Sensitive to Marry. Men can actually dictate the types of women they attract by how much they express their masculine side vs. their sensitive. Who knew that dodging commitment could be so easy!
18. Women Like Spontaneity. Whisking her away on a weekend trip on short notice is spontaneous. Showing up fifteen minutes late and asking “So, what do you want to do now?” is not!
19. She is Less Excited About Receiving Lingerie Than You Are About Giving It. They say that women love shiny things, but when it comes to glimmering showgirl costumes, not all are as excited to climb aboard your fantasy train.
20. Cleaning and Doing the Dishes… Is one of the sexiest things you can do to get her in the mood. Try it. I swear, I’m not being paid to tell you this stuff!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Can Any one Predict Human Behaviour?
Did you know there is a scale by which you can predict human behaviour, and what a person will do under certain given situations in life?
It was developed by L. Ron Hubbard and written about in his book Science of Survival, The Prediction of Human Behaviour.
Let me summarise it very briefly. Have you noticed that when a person is angry they are not that truthful? How much truth comes out of the mouth of an angry man? Very little. Well, anger is an emotional tone. So is antagonism, cheerfulness, grief, boredom and many more. These emotional tones range up from around body death to cheerful and even to exhilaration, and down again.
They go in order something like this: up from body death, to apathy, grief, fear, anger, hate, antagonism, boredom, conservatism, cheerfulness, enthusiasm, exhilaration, action and higher. There are some emotions in between these but the above are the major divisions of the emotional tone scale.
People down at the bottom of the scale, such as fear, grief, and so on, have less courage, less truthful behaviour, than someone higher in conservatism, cheerfulness, or exhilaration. A person in fear is more likely to lie for example. He is also more likely to get ill, care less about his partner and so on.
There is an entire chart of human prediction from these different emotional tones, and if you spot someone on one of these tones you can plot out that person's behaviour on things you have not even seen them experience yet. This can help you decide who would make a good spouse, who would look after and care for children, who takes greater responsibility and so on.
Here is an example of how this can be used. Say there is a couple. One partner is in the higher tone of cheerfulness and the other is in the lower tone of fear. The cheerful spouse will be loyal, have courage and likely have honour. But the lower spouse can be predicted to not be as truthful, be promiscuous, have less responsibility for the marriage and children. This marriage will be hell as the two will have different expectations.
Ideally a person would be best to seek a partner of a similar emotional tone.
These emotional tones are also on a scale with numbers, but the numbers are not that important here. I am just pointing out that people have emotional tones. The tone of the individual can also move up and down, and that does happen with life. But what is important here is the chronic tone, that tone which the person generally settles into.
Now, there is one last point and that is that someone can usually move a person up the tone scale by communicating with them in the same tone they are in or a tone above. That is, if someone is in grief, such as a child, and someone was to communicate to that child in grief or anger, but directing the communication away from the child, not at it, the child would likely improve. For example, if a child was snapped at by an animal and the parent held the child and got angry with the animal, the child would likely start to get better. The child would stop crying and maybe also be angry at the animal. And if the parent was next antagonistic at the animal, the child would again follow. Soon there would be boredom, conservatism, and finally cheerfulness. This is just a tip, try it. It does work.
However this is not necessarily going to move someone up who is stuck in a chronic lower level. But if you find yourself in such a lower tone, it is not all lost. You can always get hold of a copy of the above book, as it also gives you several ways to get up from lower chronic tones if you find yourself stuck in them.
It was developed by L. Ron Hubbard and written about in his book Science of Survival, The Prediction of Human Behaviour.
Let me summarise it very briefly. Have you noticed that when a person is angry they are not that truthful? How much truth comes out of the mouth of an angry man? Very little. Well, anger is an emotional tone. So is antagonism, cheerfulness, grief, boredom and many more. These emotional tones range up from around body death to cheerful and even to exhilaration, and down again.
They go in order something like this: up from body death, to apathy, grief, fear, anger, hate, antagonism, boredom, conservatism, cheerfulness, enthusiasm, exhilaration, action and higher. There are some emotions in between these but the above are the major divisions of the emotional tone scale.
People down at the bottom of the scale, such as fear, grief, and so on, have less courage, less truthful behaviour, than someone higher in conservatism, cheerfulness, or exhilaration. A person in fear is more likely to lie for example. He is also more likely to get ill, care less about his partner and so on.
There is an entire chart of human prediction from these different emotional tones, and if you spot someone on one of these tones you can plot out that person's behaviour on things you have not even seen them experience yet. This can help you decide who would make a good spouse, who would look after and care for children, who takes greater responsibility and so on.
Here is an example of how this can be used. Say there is a couple. One partner is in the higher tone of cheerfulness and the other is in the lower tone of fear. The cheerful spouse will be loyal, have courage and likely have honour. But the lower spouse can be predicted to not be as truthful, be promiscuous, have less responsibility for the marriage and children. This marriage will be hell as the two will have different expectations.
Ideally a person would be best to seek a partner of a similar emotional tone.
These emotional tones are also on a scale with numbers, but the numbers are not that important here. I am just pointing out that people have emotional tones. The tone of the individual can also move up and down, and that does happen with life. But what is important here is the chronic tone, that tone which the person generally settles into.
Now, there is one last point and that is that someone can usually move a person up the tone scale by communicating with them in the same tone they are in or a tone above. That is, if someone is in grief, such as a child, and someone was to communicate to that child in grief or anger, but directing the communication away from the child, not at it, the child would likely improve. For example, if a child was snapped at by an animal and the parent held the child and got angry with the animal, the child would likely start to get better. The child would stop crying and maybe also be angry at the animal. And if the parent was next antagonistic at the animal, the child would again follow. Soon there would be boredom, conservatism, and finally cheerfulness. This is just a tip, try it. It does work.
However this is not necessarily going to move someone up who is stuck in a chronic lower level. But if you find yourself in such a lower tone, it is not all lost. You can always get hold of a copy of the above book, as it also gives you several ways to get up from lower chronic tones if you find yourself stuck in them.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Islam, Jihad, and Terrorism
"Islam" and other various Islamic terms and concepts are grossly misunderstood in the West. Muslims can hardly find anyone to blame but themselves because (a) they have failed to live by the Islamic tenants in our times, and (b) they have failed to promote understanding of Islam in the West through outreach projects. This brochure is a humble attempt to briefly explain the terms given in the title. The Institute of Islamic Information & Education (III&E) has published almost fifty brochures and several articles for promoting understanding of Islam among Muslims and non-Muslims equally. Please write to the III&E or visit their web site for more information.
Some of the Islamic Terms
Islam: means a commitment to live in peace through submission to the Will of God (Allah).
Muslim: is a person who makes a commitment to live in peace through servitude to Allah.
Jihad: means "struggle" and "strive" against evil thoughts, evil action and aggression against a person, family, society or country. Jihad may be a "justifiable war", borrowing the Christian term.
Mujahid: is a person who engages in Jihad for the sake of Allah according to the Quran (Muslim's source book for guidance) and Sunnah (the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Mujahidin is the plural of Mujahid.
"Islamic terrorism": There is no such phrase or term in the Islamic source books of the Quran or the Sunnah and has no place in Islam.
Sunnah: Sunnah is the preferred way of the Prophet Muhammad that includes his teaching. The sources of the Sunnah are authentic Hadith (reports of the Prophet's sayings, doings and approvals) collections.
The True Meaning of "Jihad"
Jihad is usually associated with Islam and Muslims, but in fact, the concept of Jihad is found in all religions including Christianity, Judaism and political/economic ideologies, such as, Capitalism, Socialism, Communism, etc. Islam defines Jihad as striving and struggling for improvement as well as fighting back to defend one's self, honor, assets and homeland. Also, Jihad is interpreted as the struggle against evil, internal or external of a person or a society. Jihad, in Islam, means doing any or all but not limited to the following:
Learn, teach, and practice Islam in all aspects of one's life at all times to reach the highest and best education in order to benefit oneself, family and society.
Be a messenger of Islam everywhere, in every behavior and action.
Fight evil, wrongdoing, and injustice with all one's power by one's hand (action), with one's tongue (speech), or at least with one's heart (prayer).
Respond to the call for Jihad with money, effort, wisdom and life; yet, never fight a Muslim brother, a Muslim country, or a non-Muslim society that respects its treaties and harbors no aggressive designs against Islam or Muslims.
Suicide under any pretext is not condoned as Jihad in Islam.
Converting people to Islam by force or coercion is never Jihad but a crime, punishable by law.
The concept of Muslim men rushing out to kill themselves to get "70 dancing virgins" in Paradise, is really quite silly.
The fact of the matter is, the "companions of Paradise" are mentioned as being pure and so much above anything we might imagine on earth, so as to indicate to us they are perpetually "virgin" and are not "touched" by men or devils.
The words "perpetual virgin" even in English, should give anyone the understanding these are not such as we have known on earth.
There can be no mistaking the meaning in the Arabic language as to the purity and innocence of these companions.
The Levels of Jihad
A personal struggle within one's self to submit to Allah, fight evil within one's self, achieve higher moral and educational standards - Inner Jihad.
Jihad against evil, injustice and oppression within one's self, family and society - Social Jihad.
Jihad against all that prevents Muslims from servitude to God (Allah), people from knowing Islam, defense of a Muslim society (country), retribution against tyranny, and/or when a Muslim is removed from their homeland by force - Physical Jihad or an armed struggle.
The Quran defines physical Jihad as being the highest level of Jihad that one can undertake. Its reward is eternal Paradise. Muslims also know that all humans are accountable for what they have done during their life on this earth. Muslims will be asked about what they did with their lives and their level of submission to Allah on the Day of Judgment.
Does Jihad mean Holy War?
In Islam, there is no such thing as holy war. This terminology was generated in Europe during the Crusades and their war against Muslims. Islam recognizes Jews and Christians as the "People of the Book" because they all follow the Prophet Abraham, believing in Moses' and Jesus' teachings. For many centuries, Muslims have peacefully coexisted with Christians, Jews, and people of other faiths, maintaining social, business, political and economic treaties. Islam respects all humans and faiths as long as there is no religious oppression, forbidding Muslims from serving Allah, preventing others from learning about Islam, and not respecting treaties. For more information on the topic of Jihad see the brochure Jihad Explained or request brochure #18 from the III&E, the publisher of this article.
Who is authorized to call for Jihad as a war?
Jihad must be performed according to Islamic rules and regulations and only for the sake or in the service of Allah. The physical or military Jihad must be called by a Muslim authority, such as, a president or head of a Muslim country after due consultations with the learned leadership.
What Does Islam Say about Terrorism?
The term "terrorism" does not exist in the Quran or the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad. If the terms "terrorist or terrorism" are derived from a verb used in the Quran, such as 5:33 describing a "Muslim's" terrorist acts, it is in condemnation and prescribes most severe punishment. Islam is a religion and a way of life that does not separate politics from religion. Islam is a religion of mercy, unity and most importantly peace with one's self and others, to defend not to fight. Allah said in His Book the Quran:
"God does not forbid you from showing kindness and dealing justly with those who have not fought you about religion and have not driven you out of your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them. God loves just dealers." [Noble Quran 60:8]
"Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not begin aggression, for God loves not aggressors." [Noble Quran 2:190]
"If they seek peace, then seek you peace and trust in God for He is the Hearer, the Knower." [Noble Quran 8:61]
" and let not the hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is next to piety; and fear Allah, for Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [Noble Quran 5:8]
"But (remember that an attempt at) requiting evil may, too, become an evil: hence whoever pardons (his foe) and makes peace, his reward rests with Allah- for, verily He does not love transgressors." [Noble Quran 42:40]
"The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! He between whom and thee there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a bosom friend. [Noble Quran 41:34]
Some of the Prophet Muhammad's Teachings (Sunnah)
He prohibited Muslim soldiers from killing women, children and the elderly, or cut a palm tree, and he advised them, "do not betray, do not be excessive, do not kill a newborn child."
"Whoever has killed a person having a treaty with the Muslims shall not smell the fragrance of Paradise, though its fragrance is found for a span of forty years."
"The first cases to be adjudicated between people on the Day of Judgment will be those of bloodshed." Killing is the second major sin in Islam.
"Truly your blood, your property, and your honor are inviolable."
"There is a reward for kindness shown to every living animal or human."
Islam and Human Rights
The Quran and Sunnah encourage Muslims to respect the life and property of all mankind.
In an Islamic State these rights are considered sacred, whether a person is Muslim or not.
Islam protects honor, forbids insulting others, and/or making fun of them.
Islam rejects certain individuals or nations being favored because of their wealth, power, and/or race.
All Muslims believe that Allah created all humans free and equal, only to be distinguished from each other on the basis of God-consciousness or piety and never on the basis of race, color or ethnicity.
Islam is a practical religion that respects all human beings and it was revealed for all mankind. Its message is that of peace and submission to Allah. Muslims believe in all the Prophets mentioned in the Bible, and the Quran. The Quran shares many moral teachings of the Old Testament and the New Testament. These three religions (and their books) were founded upon the revelations by One True God, Allah. For more information on this topic please see the brochure Human Rights In Islam or ask for brochure #7 from the III&E, the publisher of this article.
Jihad in the Bible
Let us see what the Bible has to say about Jihad in the meaning of war and violence. The following verses are from the Bible, New International Version (NIV), 1984
"Do not allow a sorceress to live. Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death. Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed." [Exodus 22:18-20]
"This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'each man strap a sword to his side. Go back and forth through the camp from one end to the other, each killing his brother and friend and neighbor.' The Levites did as Moses commanded and that day about three thousand of the people died." [Exodus 32:27-28]
"The LORD said to Moses, 'Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. (Moses ordered) "Now kill all the boys. And kill every women who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man." [Numbers 31:1-18]
(Jesus said) "But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them - bring them here and kill them in front of me." [Luke 19:27]
"He (Jesus) said to them, 'But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." [Luke 22:36]
Differential treatment
Muslims follow a religion of peace, mercy and forgiveness. If an individual Muslim were to commit an act of terrorism, this person would be guilty of violating the basic tenants of Islam.
When Timothy McVeigh bombed the Oklahoma City building, no American or Christian was labeled as a terrorist or was the target of hate crimes. When Irish Christians carry out acts of terrorism against each other and on the British Isles, the Christian religion is not blamed but individuals or their political agenda. Unfortunately, the same is not true for American Muslims and Arabs. The vast majority of Muslims or Arabs have no association with the violent events around the world yet Islam is invoked with terrorism. It is unfair to 1.5 billion Muslims of the world and religion of Islam.
Criteria of guilt
Innocent until proven guilty in an open court is an accepted universal principle of justice along with liberty and freedom for all humankind. However, the U.S. failed to practice the same principles for those who are not U.S. nationals. Even worse, the U.S. is creating military tribunal for secret trials because there may be inadequate evidence to prove Arabs and Muslims guilty in open courts.
May Allah bless us all and purify our hearts from all misunderstanding, malice, hate and anger.
by M. Amir Ali, Ph.D.
Some of the Islamic Terms
Islam: means a commitment to live in peace through submission to the Will of God (Allah).
Muslim: is a person who makes a commitment to live in peace through servitude to Allah.
Jihad: means "struggle" and "strive" against evil thoughts, evil action and aggression against a person, family, society or country. Jihad may be a "justifiable war", borrowing the Christian term.
Mujahid: is a person who engages in Jihad for the sake of Allah according to the Quran (Muslim's source book for guidance) and Sunnah (the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Mujahidin is the plural of Mujahid.
"Islamic terrorism": There is no such phrase or term in the Islamic source books of the Quran or the Sunnah and has no place in Islam.
Sunnah: Sunnah is the preferred way of the Prophet Muhammad that includes his teaching. The sources of the Sunnah are authentic Hadith (reports of the Prophet's sayings, doings and approvals) collections.
The True Meaning of "Jihad"
Jihad is usually associated with Islam and Muslims, but in fact, the concept of Jihad is found in all religions including Christianity, Judaism and political/economic ideologies, such as, Capitalism, Socialism, Communism, etc. Islam defines Jihad as striving and struggling for improvement as well as fighting back to defend one's self, honor, assets and homeland. Also, Jihad is interpreted as the struggle against evil, internal or external of a person or a society. Jihad, in Islam, means doing any or all but not limited to the following:
Learn, teach, and practice Islam in all aspects of one's life at all times to reach the highest and best education in order to benefit oneself, family and society.
Be a messenger of Islam everywhere, in every behavior and action.
Fight evil, wrongdoing, and injustice with all one's power by one's hand (action), with one's tongue (speech), or at least with one's heart (prayer).
Respond to the call for Jihad with money, effort, wisdom and life; yet, never fight a Muslim brother, a Muslim country, or a non-Muslim society that respects its treaties and harbors no aggressive designs against Islam or Muslims.
Suicide under any pretext is not condoned as Jihad in Islam.
Converting people to Islam by force or coercion is never Jihad but a crime, punishable by law.
The concept of Muslim men rushing out to kill themselves to get "70 dancing virgins" in Paradise, is really quite silly.
The fact of the matter is, the "companions of Paradise" are mentioned as being pure and so much above anything we might imagine on earth, so as to indicate to us they are perpetually "virgin" and are not "touched" by men or devils.
The words "perpetual virgin" even in English, should give anyone the understanding these are not such as we have known on earth.
There can be no mistaking the meaning in the Arabic language as to the purity and innocence of these companions.
The Levels of Jihad
A personal struggle within one's self to submit to Allah, fight evil within one's self, achieve higher moral and educational standards - Inner Jihad.
Jihad against evil, injustice and oppression within one's self, family and society - Social Jihad.
Jihad against all that prevents Muslims from servitude to God (Allah), people from knowing Islam, defense of a Muslim society (country), retribution against tyranny, and/or when a Muslim is removed from their homeland by force - Physical Jihad or an armed struggle.
The Quran defines physical Jihad as being the highest level of Jihad that one can undertake. Its reward is eternal Paradise. Muslims also know that all humans are accountable for what they have done during their life on this earth. Muslims will be asked about what they did with their lives and their level of submission to Allah on the Day of Judgment.
Does Jihad mean Holy War?
In Islam, there is no such thing as holy war. This terminology was generated in Europe during the Crusades and their war against Muslims. Islam recognizes Jews and Christians as the "People of the Book" because they all follow the Prophet Abraham, believing in Moses' and Jesus' teachings. For many centuries, Muslims have peacefully coexisted with Christians, Jews, and people of other faiths, maintaining social, business, political and economic treaties. Islam respects all humans and faiths as long as there is no religious oppression, forbidding Muslims from serving Allah, preventing others from learning about Islam, and not respecting treaties. For more information on the topic of Jihad see the brochure Jihad Explained or request brochure #18 from the III&E, the publisher of this article.
Who is authorized to call for Jihad as a war?
Jihad must be performed according to Islamic rules and regulations and only for the sake or in the service of Allah. The physical or military Jihad must be called by a Muslim authority, such as, a president or head of a Muslim country after due consultations with the learned leadership.
What Does Islam Say about Terrorism?
The term "terrorism" does not exist in the Quran or the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad. If the terms "terrorist or terrorism" are derived from a verb used in the Quran, such as 5:33 describing a "Muslim's" terrorist acts, it is in condemnation and prescribes most severe punishment. Islam is a religion and a way of life that does not separate politics from religion. Islam is a religion of mercy, unity and most importantly peace with one's self and others, to defend not to fight. Allah said in His Book the Quran:
"God does not forbid you from showing kindness and dealing justly with those who have not fought you about religion and have not driven you out of your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them. God loves just dealers." [Noble Quran 60:8]
"Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not begin aggression, for God loves not aggressors." [Noble Quran 2:190]
"If they seek peace, then seek you peace and trust in God for He is the Hearer, the Knower." [Noble Quran 8:61]
" and let not the hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is next to piety; and fear Allah, for Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [Noble Quran 5:8]
"But (remember that an attempt at) requiting evil may, too, become an evil: hence whoever pardons (his foe) and makes peace, his reward rests with Allah- for, verily He does not love transgressors." [Noble Quran 42:40]
"The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! He between whom and thee there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a bosom friend. [Noble Quran 41:34]
Some of the Prophet Muhammad's Teachings (Sunnah)
He prohibited Muslim soldiers from killing women, children and the elderly, or cut a palm tree, and he advised them, "do not betray, do not be excessive, do not kill a newborn child."
"Whoever has killed a person having a treaty with the Muslims shall not smell the fragrance of Paradise, though its fragrance is found for a span of forty years."
"The first cases to be adjudicated between people on the Day of Judgment will be those of bloodshed." Killing is the second major sin in Islam.
"Truly your blood, your property, and your honor are inviolable."
"There is a reward for kindness shown to every living animal or human."
Islam and Human Rights
The Quran and Sunnah encourage Muslims to respect the life and property of all mankind.
In an Islamic State these rights are considered sacred, whether a person is Muslim or not.
Islam protects honor, forbids insulting others, and/or making fun of them.
Islam rejects certain individuals or nations being favored because of their wealth, power, and/or race.
All Muslims believe that Allah created all humans free and equal, only to be distinguished from each other on the basis of God-consciousness or piety and never on the basis of race, color or ethnicity.
Islam is a practical religion that respects all human beings and it was revealed for all mankind. Its message is that of peace and submission to Allah. Muslims believe in all the Prophets mentioned in the Bible, and the Quran. The Quran shares many moral teachings of the Old Testament and the New Testament. These three religions (and their books) were founded upon the revelations by One True God, Allah. For more information on this topic please see the brochure Human Rights In Islam or ask for brochure #7 from the III&E, the publisher of this article.
Jihad in the Bible
Let us see what the Bible has to say about Jihad in the meaning of war and violence. The following verses are from the Bible, New International Version (NIV), 1984
"Do not allow a sorceress to live. Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death. Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed." [Exodus 22:18-20]
"This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'each man strap a sword to his side. Go back and forth through the camp from one end to the other, each killing his brother and friend and neighbor.' The Levites did as Moses commanded and that day about three thousand of the people died." [Exodus 32:27-28]
"The LORD said to Moses, 'Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. (Moses ordered) "Now kill all the boys. And kill every women who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man." [Numbers 31:1-18]
(Jesus said) "But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them - bring them here and kill them in front of me." [Luke 19:27]
"He (Jesus) said to them, 'But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." [Luke 22:36]
Differential treatment
Muslims follow a religion of peace, mercy and forgiveness. If an individual Muslim were to commit an act of terrorism, this person would be guilty of violating the basic tenants of Islam.
When Timothy McVeigh bombed the Oklahoma City building, no American or Christian was labeled as a terrorist or was the target of hate crimes. When Irish Christians carry out acts of terrorism against each other and on the British Isles, the Christian religion is not blamed but individuals or their political agenda. Unfortunately, the same is not true for American Muslims and Arabs. The vast majority of Muslims or Arabs have no association with the violent events around the world yet Islam is invoked with terrorism. It is unfair to 1.5 billion Muslims of the world and religion of Islam.
Criteria of guilt
Innocent until proven guilty in an open court is an accepted universal principle of justice along with liberty and freedom for all humankind. However, the U.S. failed to practice the same principles for those who are not U.S. nationals. Even worse, the U.S. is creating military tribunal for secret trials because there may be inadequate evidence to prove Arabs and Muslims guilty in open courts.
May Allah bless us all and purify our hearts from all misunderstanding, malice, hate and anger.
by M. Amir Ali, Ph.D.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Love Psychic Reading
Psychic readers are performing important roles in the lives of individuals. Psychics emerged in the first place to enable people find solutions to their problems. Since human beings continue to exist and in this earth the work of the psychics must continue to be in high demand because humanity will continue to have problems which psychics must be called onto resolve. Perhaps one of the most important thing one needs in life apart from life itself is the issue of love. Everybody needs to love and to be loved. Where the need to be loved becomes more manifested is when it comes to marriage, because love remains the basics and foundation of any marriage arrangement. That is why psychic love is very important. People are always on the look out for the services of love psychic so that they can find solution to their love problem and their marriage life.
I do not know of anybody who does not need the services of love psychic. Psychic help people manage and stabilize their love and even their marriage life. Perhaps a speciality that is more often consulted is the love psychic practitioners. Their services are in high demand because nobody is in a hurry to do away with the relationship he or she has made with a loved one. Love provides the therapy which lovers need to strengthen their love life for their common good. Where love psychic services have become more compelling is in a situation where couples are engaged in a relationship that may lead to marriage or co habitation such couple do seek the services and advise of psychics on what type of behaviour they will put up to strengthen and enhance their love life.
Coming in contact with the services of psychic is no longer a big deal these days. Because their services are often sought for, a lot of people can easily tell where they can be contacted and which of the practitioners offer reliable and trusted services. There are great psychics one easily consult and enjoy the services they offer. A very notable place where one can engage the services of love psychic is in the UK. In short psychic network known as Psychic Realm offer the best of psychic services one can ever think of. It is a trusted network with many qualified psychics of all abilities and skills. They are available twenty four hours and their support team are always online also twenty four hours a day.
Trust psychic network like the Psychic Realm are available in the internet. With an internet connection one can get connected to Psychic Realm network and any of the other reliable and trusted networks available in the internet. There is always a toll free line which one who is in need of love psychic can dial and get connected for those that want to do the consultation through the online phone psychic. The internet is of course the most popular channel through which clients get in touch with psychic and other psychic skills and abilities. The internet features provide cost effective methods as one can even undertake psychic readings for free and those who decide to go for a paid service pay what can be considered as a peanut. The services of love psychic can also be enjoyed through internet chat. Internet has several chat features provided by the different search engines. These search engines chat features are effectively used by the love psychic such that any interested person can be online with any of them in real time.
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I do not know of anybody who does not need the services of love psychic. Psychic help people manage and stabilize their love and even their marriage life. Perhaps a speciality that is more often consulted is the love psychic practitioners. Their services are in high demand because nobody is in a hurry to do away with the relationship he or she has made with a loved one. Love provides the therapy which lovers need to strengthen their love life for their common good. Where love psychic services have become more compelling is in a situation where couples are engaged in a relationship that may lead to marriage or co habitation such couple do seek the services and advise of psychics on what type of behaviour they will put up to strengthen and enhance their love life.
Coming in contact with the services of psychic is no longer a big deal these days. Because their services are often sought for, a lot of people can easily tell where they can be contacted and which of the practitioners offer reliable and trusted services. There are great psychics one easily consult and enjoy the services they offer. A very notable place where one can engage the services of love psychic is in the UK. In short psychic network known as Psychic Realm offer the best of psychic services one can ever think of. It is a trusted network with many qualified psychics of all abilities and skills. They are available twenty four hours and their support team are always online also twenty four hours a day.
Trust psychic network like the Psychic Realm are available in the internet. With an internet connection one can get connected to Psychic Realm network and any of the other reliable and trusted networks available in the internet. There is always a toll free line which one who is in need of love psychic can dial and get connected for those that want to do the consultation through the online phone psychic. The internet is of course the most popular channel through which clients get in touch with psychic and other psychic skills and abilities. The internet features provide cost effective methods as one can even undertake psychic readings for free and those who decide to go for a paid service pay what can be considered as a peanut. The services of love psychic can also be enjoyed through internet chat. Internet has several chat features provided by the different search engines. These search engines chat features are effectively used by the love psychic such that any interested person can be online with any of them in real time.
Click here for an accurate and evidential psychic phone medium readingpsychic reading. Australian callers click here psychic reading. UK psychic readings site Psychic reading
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Sunday, August 22, 2010
Human Behaviour and Depression
Each one of us has his or her own personality and several characteristics that we believe are unique to us, but human behavior is not controlled by our will. Behavioural programs that work automatically according to the stimuli that we receive from the environment are the primary controllers of human behavior. The human being is an animal and his rationale is not active most of the time. On the contrary, the majority of our decisions and actions are made based on these automatic behavioural programs rather than based on our own thoughts.
We have to also consider the existence of several characteristics in our psychic sphere that are peculiar to our psychological type. There are four psychological types which depend on the most developed of the four psychological function in each person's psychic sphere--the four psychological functions are thoughts, feelings, sensations, and intuitions. However, since each person's attitude is either introverted or extroverted, the psychological types become 8--4 each of introverted and extroverted types.
The introverted types tend to judge everything according to their personal opinion while the extroverted types tend to accept the general opinion about reality. Their previous disposition affects their judgement, which is always one sided, since each type completely despises what the opposite type considers important. This way, neither one nor the other can perceive all the existing points of the objective reality or of the inner reality when they judge them.
The automatic behavioural programs decide on our behalf what we will do all the time, even though we think we are doing everything we do because we ourselves have decided to do so. We can't really perceive that our reactions are automatic and we think that we can control our behaviour completely.
However, some stimuli can make us "lose our head" and without understanding how, we may get involved in very strange situations.
So, the strong stimuli and the automatic animal reaction combined with the one-sided vision of each psychological type and with the peculiar characteristics that determine their behaviour depending on which psychological function dominates them the most, are responsible for each person's behaviour.
This way, what happens is that each person makes several mistakes, without understanding what they are really doing. They may even do several things that are completely in opposition to their character because they are dominated by the wild side of their conscience, where psychological functions that were not developed through consciousness remain.
The result is a suffocating feeling, an unbearable and unexplainable depression that intrigues very much the person that feels this way, because they can't understand what is wrong.
Their psychic condition becomes worse with time and some day they feel so completely lost in a labyrinth of problems that cannot be ever solved that they think about committing suicide, as if this was the unique solution left for them.
Otherwise, they start taking treatment to cure their depression and their frustration increases because they realize that they are feeling worse instead of better, because their real problems remain unsolved...
This is when the free and safe psychotherapy through dream interpretation can save their life! Only the unconscious that resides inside the human psychic sphere is very well aware of the exact mistakes each person made and how they can be corrected.
The unconscious is a free doctor that sends us very helpful messages through our dreams everyday in order to help us overcome all the problems provoked by our wild nature. Dream decoding is the safest solution for desperate people, who cannot understand why they feel so sad and cannot bear their existence. It is a miraculous solution that can save anyone, no matter how awful they may feel and however impossible the solution for their problems may appear.
However, the unconscious is a very demanding doctor and its psychotherapy depends on the patient's cooperation. This is not a magical way through which a human being can get rid of all his or her problems without doing anything, but a miracle he himself has to create, by exactly following the wise orientation received in dreams, even when the person doesn't agree with the suffering through which one will have to pass in order to be cured. One has to change one's behaviour and learn how to be calm and always wise. This is like a very delicate and dangerous surgical operation. Its success is guaranteed only if the patient exactly follows the doctor's orientation.
Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.
We have to also consider the existence of several characteristics in our psychic sphere that are peculiar to our psychological type. There are four psychological types which depend on the most developed of the four psychological function in each person's psychic sphere--the four psychological functions are thoughts, feelings, sensations, and intuitions. However, since each person's attitude is either introverted or extroverted, the psychological types become 8--4 each of introverted and extroverted types.
The introverted types tend to judge everything according to their personal opinion while the extroverted types tend to accept the general opinion about reality. Their previous disposition affects their judgement, which is always one sided, since each type completely despises what the opposite type considers important. This way, neither one nor the other can perceive all the existing points of the objective reality or of the inner reality when they judge them.
The automatic behavioural programs decide on our behalf what we will do all the time, even though we think we are doing everything we do because we ourselves have decided to do so. We can't really perceive that our reactions are automatic and we think that we can control our behaviour completely.
However, some stimuli can make us "lose our head" and without understanding how, we may get involved in very strange situations.
So, the strong stimuli and the automatic animal reaction combined with the one-sided vision of each psychological type and with the peculiar characteristics that determine their behaviour depending on which psychological function dominates them the most, are responsible for each person's behaviour.
This way, what happens is that each person makes several mistakes, without understanding what they are really doing. They may even do several things that are completely in opposition to their character because they are dominated by the wild side of their conscience, where psychological functions that were not developed through consciousness remain.
The result is a suffocating feeling, an unbearable and unexplainable depression that intrigues very much the person that feels this way, because they can't understand what is wrong.
Their psychic condition becomes worse with time and some day they feel so completely lost in a labyrinth of problems that cannot be ever solved that they think about committing suicide, as if this was the unique solution left for them.
Otherwise, they start taking treatment to cure their depression and their frustration increases because they realize that they are feeling worse instead of better, because their real problems remain unsolved...
This is when the free and safe psychotherapy through dream interpretation can save their life! Only the unconscious that resides inside the human psychic sphere is very well aware of the exact mistakes each person made and how they can be corrected.
The unconscious is a free doctor that sends us very helpful messages through our dreams everyday in order to help us overcome all the problems provoked by our wild nature. Dream decoding is the safest solution for desperate people, who cannot understand why they feel so sad and cannot bear their existence. It is a miraculous solution that can save anyone, no matter how awful they may feel and however impossible the solution for their problems may appear.
However, the unconscious is a very demanding doctor and its psychotherapy depends on the patient's cooperation. This is not a magical way through which a human being can get rid of all his or her problems without doing anything, but a miracle he himself has to create, by exactly following the wise orientation received in dreams, even when the person doesn't agree with the suffering through which one will have to pass in order to be cured. One has to change one's behaviour and learn how to be calm and always wise. This is like a very delicate and dangerous surgical operation. Its success is guaranteed only if the patient exactly follows the doctor's orientation.
Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
secret human-behaviour-strategy-deals-with-relationship-problems
When relationship problems strike, there are key steps you can take to get your relationship back on track.
It's very likely that your partner will not want to participate, so if your partner is not interested in getting involved and has given up, just by changing your behaviour you can start to change theirs without them knowing.
It is very likely that if you and your partner are in conflict for whatever reason that you have been holding back on all the things you know they will like. This is your way of punishing them for hurting you.
The problem with punishing your partner is that this behaviour will get you less of what you really want, your partner will attach bad feelings to you and this can really damage your relationship because all these little problems can build up in a persons mind.
Understand what you really want before you decide to take action.
What you probably really want is to feel love, security and significance. Punishing your partner will just drive them even further away resulting in you feeling worse with the possibility of the conflict escalating.
So what you do is the reverse, but in this special way.
Decide what behaviour you want from them and every time they behave the way you want, you'll reward them with love or a kiss, something you know they will really like, of course you don't tell them your plan.
You do this every time they do what you want.
What you will discover is this act of love is a thousand times more powerful than any partner repelling punishment. If you have found something they really like receiving from you'll notice that they'll look for more ways to attach doing what you want to their great feelings.
Remember if you feel reluctant to try this, ask yourself how do you feel when your partner has a problem with your behaviour. Do you respond well when they become cross with you, do you want to help them and give them what they want? Of course not…
It's very likely that your partner will not want to participate, so if your partner is not interested in getting involved and has given up, just by changing your behaviour you can start to change theirs without them knowing.
It is very likely that if you and your partner are in conflict for whatever reason that you have been holding back on all the things you know they will like. This is your way of punishing them for hurting you.
The problem with punishing your partner is that this behaviour will get you less of what you really want, your partner will attach bad feelings to you and this can really damage your relationship because all these little problems can build up in a persons mind.
Understand what you really want before you decide to take action.
What you probably really want is to feel love, security and significance. Punishing your partner will just drive them even further away resulting in you feeling worse with the possibility of the conflict escalating.
So what you do is the reverse, but in this special way.
Decide what behaviour you want from them and every time they behave the way you want, you'll reward them with love or a kiss, something you know they will really like, of course you don't tell them your plan.
You do this every time they do what you want.
What you will discover is this act of love is a thousand times more powerful than any partner repelling punishment. If you have found something they really like receiving from you'll notice that they'll look for more ways to attach doing what you want to their great feelings.
Remember if you feel reluctant to try this, ask yourself how do you feel when your partner has a problem with your behaviour. Do you respond well when they become cross with you, do you want to help them and give them what they want? Of course not…
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Suicide Signs Identify Them Before They Defeat You
Bullying is not only present in schools, but can be found all around us. Bullying can destroy peoples live and may even lead to an end in some peoples lives. Words are just as hurtful. Bullying can happen to anyone, no matter what age. Bullying can occur in schools, offices and in your own home.
It is common for adults and children to suffer in silence. The bullying slowly eating them up inside, until they can't take no more. Bullying is often untreated as schools and businesses, commonly fail to spot the signs. Schools and businesses commonly fail to prevent bullying, even when they are aware that it is occurring. This can prove to be very frustrating for any individual suffering from bullying. This can lead to a poor education, no job or even moving house, due to the lack of support.
There are different types of bullying. Firstly we have physical bullying, where a child is physically attacked. Weapons and the human body can both be used to cause physical harm. Verbal bullying includes name calling and harrassment and this is where people often suffer in silence. Verbal bullying does not just occur face to face, but people can be tormented and abused through cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is present through the use of electronic devices such as instant messaging services and the internet.
Some serious cases of bullying, can sadly lead to cases of suicide. It can be hard to identify the suicide signs, especially when you are not aware of any problems. Suicide is very unpleasant and most bullies, do not realize how badly their bullying is affecting others. The suicide ways are not very pleasant and no family should have to go through the pain, of knowing a member of their family was left feeling helpless. Imagine how hard it is to cope with bullying, day in day out. However those that suffer in silence and don't talk about their problems, will often be the ones who are worst hit.
Suicide warning signs can be difficult to identify, with many people suffering in silence. Suicide can affect friends and family leaving them confused. Suicide has been on the up rise in many countries. By having and understanding of the warning signs of suicide, more cases can help be prevented. Below are some of the following signs that people should be aware of:
1)People mentioning they want to kill, or hurt themselves. 2)Sudden bursts of rage or anger. 3)A feeling of being hopeless and trapped. 4)Unusual and risky behaviour. 5)Withdrawing themselves from people. 6)Disturbances in eating or sleeping patterns. 7)A lack of interest in hobbies. 8)Dependence on drugs or alcohol.
These are just a few of the signs that may become apparent. If a family member, work colleague of friend, who is close to you, is acting strange, it is important that you talk to them to try and understand the cause. This may help them to let out their feelings and help you to discover the problem. There are a large number of suicide warning signs which may be identifiable, so if you suspect someone is acting strange, you should look into the possible causes.
It is common for adults and children to suffer in silence. The bullying slowly eating them up inside, until they can't take no more. Bullying is often untreated as schools and businesses, commonly fail to spot the signs. Schools and businesses commonly fail to prevent bullying, even when they are aware that it is occurring. This can prove to be very frustrating for any individual suffering from bullying. This can lead to a poor education, no job or even moving house, due to the lack of support.
There are different types of bullying. Firstly we have physical bullying, where a child is physically attacked. Weapons and the human body can both be used to cause physical harm. Verbal bullying includes name calling and harrassment and this is where people often suffer in silence. Verbal bullying does not just occur face to face, but people can be tormented and abused through cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is present through the use of electronic devices such as instant messaging services and the internet.
Some serious cases of bullying, can sadly lead to cases of suicide. It can be hard to identify the suicide signs, especially when you are not aware of any problems. Suicide is very unpleasant and most bullies, do not realize how badly their bullying is affecting others. The suicide ways are not very pleasant and no family should have to go through the pain, of knowing a member of their family was left feeling helpless. Imagine how hard it is to cope with bullying, day in day out. However those that suffer in silence and don't talk about their problems, will often be the ones who are worst hit.
Suicide warning signs can be difficult to identify, with many people suffering in silence. Suicide can affect friends and family leaving them confused. Suicide has been on the up rise in many countries. By having and understanding of the warning signs of suicide, more cases can help be prevented. Below are some of the following signs that people should be aware of:
1)People mentioning they want to kill, or hurt themselves. 2)Sudden bursts of rage or anger. 3)A feeling of being hopeless and trapped. 4)Unusual and risky behaviour. 5)Withdrawing themselves from people. 6)Disturbances in eating or sleeping patterns. 7)A lack of interest in hobbies. 8)Dependence on drugs or alcohol.
These are just a few of the signs that may become apparent. If a family member, work colleague of friend, who is close to you, is acting strange, it is important that you talk to them to try and understand the cause. This may help them to let out their feelings and help you to discover the problem. There are a large number of suicide warning signs which may be identifiable, so if you suspect someone is acting strange, you should look into the possible causes.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Maximizing Your Personal Energy Supply
Different governments, officials, environmental agencies exhort us to conserve the energy we use in order to save the environment and sustain our continued existence on the planet.
On a personal level I think that we also need to know how to conserve, focus and maximise our own personal supply of energy. We unconsciously dissipate and waste our energy on people, situations, thoughts, attitudes and events which do not serve us well. This leaves less space and energy for creating and attracting the kind of abundance that we want in our lives.
Interestingly enough I've also found that as I conserve, focus and thereby maximise my energy, I tend to use less energy on craving and acquiring "stuff", but more energy focusing on what is truly important to me, thereby helping the environment.
So here are 5 Ways to Maximise Your Personal Energy Supply.
1. Release Resistance
Releasing resistance will affect a profound change in your level of energy and how you view the world. Resistance often feels as though we are going against ourselves in order to satisfy some internal authority or a myriad of "shoulds" "oughts" and "have tos". It takes a tremendous amount of energy to be resistant.
Related feelings and behaviour include: procrastination, using willpower and discipline to effect change (otherwise known as "I Have To Struggle To Achieve What I Want"!), stubborness, inflexibility, wanting to be right rather than happy (a very popular one:), holding onto self limiting beliefs way past their sell by date.
Releasing resistance can be as easy as just making a decision to let go of whatever you are holding onto. Energy therapy also helps release resistance at a very deep level.
2. Reduce time watching TV
Watching TV unconsciously is very exhausting. Haven't you noticed that when you watch TV continuously and do little else, you become extremely tired? That's because you are merely a passive recipient of information that you're not fully engaged with. On an energetic level, taking in all of those rays from the TV (similar to a computer) is overstimulating on a physiological level. Of course while you are watch TV, it means that you're not doing something more productive.
Am I saying that you stop watching TV altogether? No, but to be more selective and watch only those programs that you are engaged with. I'd also say that stop watching the TV news - all of that manufactured fear really affects you on a cellular level. I find that my mindset, moods and overall energy improve significantly when I watch less TV.
3. Consciously create vacuums
Ever heard of the saying: "Nature abhors a vacuum". If you clean out an area of your life, you are giving the Universe a message to bring in something to replace it. This is otherwise known as energetic and/or physical clutter clearing. Start with either. Most people find it easier to start with clearing out the physical which has an effect on their energies. You are consciously creating the space for change to occur and inviting what you want into your life. This is much much easier than efforting to make things happen.
4. Avoid/deal with Energy Vampires
One of the quickest ways to get an energy boost is to disassociate yourself from those with those whose energy drains you. It is very effective. Unfortunately, it also becomes a little more difficult if they are your partner, member of your family, work colleagues or boss. It helps to develop a stronger set of boundaries and energetic protection, so that they are less likely to affect you in this way.
5. Create quiet time for yourself every day.
Not to do anything (unless it relaxes you), but just to clear and refresh your mind. We are human beings, not doings. There are times when our crowded schedule and minds don't allow space and time for the creative to be welcomed in. Einstein liked to go sailing in the afternoons after working in the morning. Okay, most of us don't have this opportunity, but you get the point.
If you only do one of the above, then your life will undergo a profound change.
On a personal level I think that we also need to know how to conserve, focus and maximise our own personal supply of energy. We unconsciously dissipate and waste our energy on people, situations, thoughts, attitudes and events which do not serve us well. This leaves less space and energy for creating and attracting the kind of abundance that we want in our lives.
Interestingly enough I've also found that as I conserve, focus and thereby maximise my energy, I tend to use less energy on craving and acquiring "stuff", but more energy focusing on what is truly important to me, thereby helping the environment.
So here are 5 Ways to Maximise Your Personal Energy Supply.
1. Release Resistance
Releasing resistance will affect a profound change in your level of energy and how you view the world. Resistance often feels as though we are going against ourselves in order to satisfy some internal authority or a myriad of "shoulds" "oughts" and "have tos". It takes a tremendous amount of energy to be resistant.
Related feelings and behaviour include: procrastination, using willpower and discipline to effect change (otherwise known as "I Have To Struggle To Achieve What I Want"!), stubborness, inflexibility, wanting to be right rather than happy (a very popular one:), holding onto self limiting beliefs way past their sell by date.
Releasing resistance can be as easy as just making a decision to let go of whatever you are holding onto. Energy therapy also helps release resistance at a very deep level.
2. Reduce time watching TV
Watching TV unconsciously is very exhausting. Haven't you noticed that when you watch TV continuously and do little else, you become extremely tired? That's because you are merely a passive recipient of information that you're not fully engaged with. On an energetic level, taking in all of those rays from the TV (similar to a computer) is overstimulating on a physiological level. Of course while you are watch TV, it means that you're not doing something more productive.
Am I saying that you stop watching TV altogether? No, but to be more selective and watch only those programs that you are engaged with. I'd also say that stop watching the TV news - all of that manufactured fear really affects you on a cellular level. I find that my mindset, moods and overall energy improve significantly when I watch less TV.
3. Consciously create vacuums
Ever heard of the saying: "Nature abhors a vacuum". If you clean out an area of your life, you are giving the Universe a message to bring in something to replace it. This is otherwise known as energetic and/or physical clutter clearing. Start with either. Most people find it easier to start with clearing out the physical which has an effect on their energies. You are consciously creating the space for change to occur and inviting what you want into your life. This is much much easier than efforting to make things happen.
4. Avoid/deal with Energy Vampires
One of the quickest ways to get an energy boost is to disassociate yourself from those with those whose energy drains you. It is very effective. Unfortunately, it also becomes a little more difficult if they are your partner, member of your family, work colleagues or boss. It helps to develop a stronger set of boundaries and energetic protection, so that they are less likely to affect you in this way.
5. Create quiet time for yourself every day.
Not to do anything (unless it relaxes you), but just to clear and refresh your mind. We are human beings, not doings. There are times when our crowded schedule and minds don't allow space and time for the creative to be welcomed in. Einstein liked to go sailing in the afternoons after working in the morning. Okay, most of us don't have this opportunity, but you get the point.
If you only do one of the above, then your life will undergo a profound change.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Divorcing God
Divorcing God isn't easy-especially after a lifetime thinking you had a monopoly on truth. Truth you embraced as absolute simply because someone told you it was. It is even more difficult when you've spent the last twenty-eight years up on a pedestal inside a fishbowl.
Sometimes, divorce is the only way out of an unhealthy relationship. A woman has to get out, get her head screwed on straight, and then start over. I didn't divorce God, I divorced my husband, but at the time it felt like the same thing.
In a way, it was.
I've heard that Catholic nuns consider themselves married to God. I wasn't Catholic, I was Southern Baptist, but I'd married God all the same. Looking back on it now, if I'd known God wasn't a man, I wouldn't have felt like I had to. Most divorces don't occur overnight. Instead, a disconnect causes a crack. Over time the crack warps, widens, and finally an inciting incident pushes it over the edge. When, then, did my disconnect begin?
In her book Writing a Woman's Life, Carolyn Heilbrun defines the unambiguous woman as one who puts a man at the center of her life, allowing only to occur what honors his paramount position. Her desires, dreams and wishes are forever secondary.
I risked nothing to become such, for I'd spent my first seventeen years learning the "godly role" of a sanitized, unambiguous woman-and it is a short step from that to wife-yea, preacher's wife. For the sleep dust sprinkled in my eyes by my mother, who was herself, a captive of the times, had anesthetized my spirit.
Add to that the self-serving 'will of God' preached by a patriarchal religion, and enforced by my husband, a self-proclaimed 'man of God,' and my spirit, the essence of who I am, was sacrificed as surely as though I'd been nailed to a cross.
Even from conception my world was a wild combination of advance and retreat, then advance again. My body knew things long before my mind did. Even my birth was an on-and-off again affair, battered back and forth by the drama unfolding within my parent's relationship.
My mother never questioned nor modified life's answers given to her by others, for she believed in a world of certainties.
Do this, get that.
But when she did this, and that didn't pan out, she never doubted, for it didn't mean the answer wasn't correct. It just meant she had not done enough of that. She would redouble her efforts, believing that even in the failure, the problem wasn't in the answers she'd been given, but the effort she'd put forth. And since her husband, my father, marched to the beat of his own drum, he forever changed the equation.
Put simply, the problem wasn't the answers she'd been given, the problem was in the doing, or the lack thereof, so she tightened her hold on the answers while the questions of the world multiplied and sucked her down into the mire of dysfunction. My first glimpse that something was wrong, terribly wrong, came the morning after my wedding. Other than a severe downpour, my June 1957 church wedding went off without a glitch. Friends and family gathered with congratulations and celebration. The three-tiered wedding cake baked by my aunt tasted delicious. At the appropriate time-God forbid that I'd do anything inappropriate-I escaped to the bedroom, slipped out of the damp, white gown, and into a sky-blue suit and stood before the mirror. The girl staring back questioned whether it was true; had the wallflower really married the town's most eligible bachelor-the handsome twenty-three-year old preacher-boy? What a coup!
I was a kid playing grown up.
Barely seventeen, with another year of high school ahead of me, I had successfully fulfilled the expectations of my parents, of my peers, and of my church leaders. All was right with my world.
Until the next morning.
As we dressed, my husband sat tying his shoes. "There's one thing I need to tell you," he declared, glancing up at me, authority in his eyes. "God will always come first in my life. You'll be second-but God will be first." Then he stood, pulled his Bible out of the suitcase and opened it. "And we will read the Bible and pray together every day."
His well-intentioned words shattered something inside me, and the pieces tumbled to my feet, pieces of something undefined, yea unborn. I felt slapped, shoved aside. My role in the marriage would never be as an adult, but as a child with a male parent telling me what I would do-yea believe. The pious statement clearly defined the submissive wife. I was secondary. Further, when I needed an opinion, he'd give it to me. Our life together would be his life-not mine.
The disconnect had begun.
Before marriage, I had believed I was important to God and to him, but not now. Now, he and God came first, or his view of God, which, unquestionably, was the patriarchal Him. I came in a distant third.
What then was our marriage? Sacred? How could it be sacred, I wondered, when it is on the bottom of some pecking order.
A seed, a husk of that precious young woman burrowed deep into my soul, shut away from the sun, awaiting the call of the now.
Twenty-three years later, my preacher-foreign missionary-husband and I lived in El Paso, Texas, the cross-cultural city where drug pushers and gang members create their own 'axis of evil.' Where creators of graffiti compete with the majestic Franklin Mountains for attention, for immortality. Where, on the continuum of light and shadow; black and white; right and wrong, there is truth, not only on the ends, but at each point in between.
The day started no different than any other Monday for stay-at-home moms. My two oldest sons were at high school, my daughter at the junior high just blocks away, my husband at his office, and my toddler at home with me. Piles of laundry awaited their turn in the washer. Dirty dishes lay piled in the sink.
After forty years of self-doubt I had garnered courage and enrolled in community college the semester before. Now, at the end of my second semester, an upcoming final exam nagged me to study while I sat in a rocking chair cradling my limp two-year-old son, sick with bronchitis and asthma, his breath raspy, coughing.
From my vantage point I looked up to see my distressed-looking husband open the screen door and head back to the den. He didn't speak until he reached my side, but I knew bad news headed my way.
"My brother just called-your dad-just-just dropped dead of a heart attack," he finally choked out.
I pulled my sick baby to my heart and held him tight, numbness obliterating reality. "Why didn't he call me?" I finally asked, feeling slighted-wounded-that I hadn't received the call.
"He knew you and the baby were here by yourself," my husband explained.
"But it's my dad! He should have called me!"
Someone will call-Mother, my sister, brother, someone. I ached for the phone to ring, for my family to bring me into the loss. No one did. I strangely felt abandoned, cut out of the family. Everyone else was there in my hometown, but no one thought of me, 900 miles away. Neither my mother, nor my sister, nor my brother brought me into the family circle of grief by calling me and telling me my dad was dead-come home.
I recalled when I'd sat with the woman next door after her husband had dropped dead from a heart attack. How the neighbor had insisted on calling their only son, telling him, herself, of his dad's death. "No, no, that's my job," she'd said when the police offered to call. "He needs to hear this from his mom." How comforting, how loving that must have felt for the son.
I waited, not even understanding why the call was so important to me, but eventually I gave in, picked up the phone and called Mom. "Yeah, he's gone," she mumbled. "Are you coming?"
We loaded ourselves, four kids, suitcases and funeral clothes, into a small Chevy Citation and headed across desert at five o'clock that evening.
Earlier that day my father had gone home for lunch, quickly 'inhaled' his food, as always, and left again. It was May, in southeast Texas. Hot. Humid.
He always wore long sleeve khaki shirts and pants, and even died dressed in a pair while sitting in a boat in front of a bait shop.
I wanted to bury him in a suit of khakis, but Mom chose a blue suit, her one chance, she said, to dress him her way. Handsome, he was too, with his red hair and ruddy complexion. But rock hard and cold when I placed my hand on his cheek.
I didn't recognize the event for what it was-the beginning-the first day of my estrangement from God. The day my soul wrinkled when I overheard my mom talking to friends and family who called their regrets.
"I just really feel Jesus helping me get through this; if it wasn't for Jesus, I don't know what I'd do," Mother would say.
I didn't "just really feel Jesus helping me." Instead, I felt sucked into black, soul-crushing nothingness.
Jesus helped her-why not me? Perhaps this compassionate God I'd declared existed-didn't. Or maybe I wasn't worthy enough.
All I felt was pain, abandoned by my father, the one man in my life that I desperately wanted to love and accept me. And now my chances were gone.
Forever.
I'd done all the right things. I'd married a preacher-a good man-making the family proud, receiving my father's blessing, a blessing based not on me, but the marriage. A marriage that raised the family's worth in the community and church. A marriage that ended up making my father feel guilty, for years later I learned that when we came to visit, he hid his beer under the bed so he didn't offend my husband.
So, at 41, I took the first halting steps down off the pedestal of preacher's wife, yea-foreign missionary-and into wilderness, into the dead end of me.
It seemed the sun came up each day in a different corner of the sky. The pieces of bread I'd dropped along the way now became boulders blocking my path. I grieved alone. Family and friends offered comfort, but it didn't bring my father back, nor did it bring back this god-person who seemed to be there for everyone except me.
For the last 41 years, I had sacrificed me to become another person's definition of who I should be. I had gained a halo when I'd married the preacher-boy, and then later the halo had grown bigger and brighter when we became foreign missionaries. But now, after assisting hundreds of people in their spiritual journey, or telling myself I had, when I needed God the most, He wasn't there. I felt deserted and disillusioned. God didn't exist. I felt no Presence or love. No comfort, nor compassion. I felt no empathy, no heavenly understanding.
Smack in the middle of wilderness I began questioning what I'd been taught by the church, by my husband, by Christian scripture, by well-intentioned church members, other missionaries. At first I questioned in secret, still convinced there was something wrong with me, not God.
I enrolled as a freshman at the University of Texas at El Paso and a whole world opened up, a world I'd never known existed. I learned to think autonomously, analytically. I began raising questions about "truth." Questions that threatened my husband and his authority over me.
I began to see how I had bought the patriarchal myth and allowed my husband to be my authority figure-my parent-yea, my God-and, if not God, then definitely God's spokesman with a straight line to truth and divine will.
So I tried telling my story, but what I said threatened folks in my world, no one wanted to listen. I grew so exhausted from trying to be heard that finally I walked out past everyone, unnoticed. My body didn't leave, so they thought I was still there, but my heart was long gone.
Over time I learned to stand up for myself, claim what I believed, what I stood for, what I didn't stand for, and what I absolutely would not stand for and, as you might expect, this took a severe toll on my marriage.
One day my husband confronted me, asking, "Can't you go back and be like you used to be?"
I could try, I thought, but if I did, I'd die. Oh, my body may last a little longer, but my soul, already in a death-throe, would wither and blow away.
"I can't!" I cried, "I like me so much better now-for the first time in my life I like me!" "But I like you less!" he said, pain crawling down his face in deep deadening lines, overflowing, spilling onto the floor, creeping towards me. "I always felt superior to you," he continued, "but I don't anymore! Now I feel inferior!"
I knew his words to be true, always had, even felt it myself, but I didn't realize he did-or would admit it to himself, much less to me.
I got in my car and drove to White Sands National Park, climbed atop a dune of sparkling sand and watched the wind whip the 270 square acres of sand-piled desert. Watched the grains blow into the air, scatter, and then sift down in new locations. They ever advanced, ever changed, yet remained within the confines of their primordial plot. I squinted off into the distance, still hoping for God to top the dunes on a big white stallion and carry me off to glory.
No one came.
I shut my eyes, gritty against dashed hope, knowing what I had to do. Knowing if I didn't, I would surely die.
Years of guilt, passivity, submissiveness and domination had taken its toll. After a lifetime spent in the midst of a high-demand theology that proved unhealthy for me, my spirit felt chewed up and spit out, mangled, desiccated. Theology that taught me I was only complete when I served my husband, and yes obeyed; that I must submit to his control as if I too, were a child needing a watchful parent. A lifetime filled with holy-sounding platitudes and meaningless clichés.
It is unauthentic to pass off as Truth, experiences not yours, simply because other people tell you it is. I had spent a lifetime doing so. Actually, I didn't know I had a choice, and to stay in my marriage-I didn't.
But when you learn you've glibly handed out pat answers to life's most complicated questions; when you learn, despite sincere effort, you're the phony; that the answers, yea, the 'truths' you'd given weren't yours at all, but those given to you within a patriarchal world view, you must go back to the beginning.
And go back, I did. My wilderness wandering would last several more years, years spent reading, creating questions, discovering my own connection with God-as-I- Know-God. Not the patriarchal God of my past, but as a woman also created in the image of God. Through it all, I've learned that wilderness is a sacred place, and that while divorce is an end-it is also a beginning.
Sometimes, divorce is the only way out of an unhealthy relationship. A woman has to get out, get her head screwed on straight, and then start over. I didn't divorce God, I divorced my husband, but at the time it felt like the same thing.
In a way, it was.
I've heard that Catholic nuns consider themselves married to God. I wasn't Catholic, I was Southern Baptist, but I'd married God all the same. Looking back on it now, if I'd known God wasn't a man, I wouldn't have felt like I had to. Most divorces don't occur overnight. Instead, a disconnect causes a crack. Over time the crack warps, widens, and finally an inciting incident pushes it over the edge. When, then, did my disconnect begin?
In her book Writing a Woman's Life, Carolyn Heilbrun defines the unambiguous woman as one who puts a man at the center of her life, allowing only to occur what honors his paramount position. Her desires, dreams and wishes are forever secondary.
I risked nothing to become such, for I'd spent my first seventeen years learning the "godly role" of a sanitized, unambiguous woman-and it is a short step from that to wife-yea, preacher's wife. For the sleep dust sprinkled in my eyes by my mother, who was herself, a captive of the times, had anesthetized my spirit.
Add to that the self-serving 'will of God' preached by a patriarchal religion, and enforced by my husband, a self-proclaimed 'man of God,' and my spirit, the essence of who I am, was sacrificed as surely as though I'd been nailed to a cross.
Even from conception my world was a wild combination of advance and retreat, then advance again. My body knew things long before my mind did. Even my birth was an on-and-off again affair, battered back and forth by the drama unfolding within my parent's relationship.
My mother never questioned nor modified life's answers given to her by others, for she believed in a world of certainties.
Do this, get that.
But when she did this, and that didn't pan out, she never doubted, for it didn't mean the answer wasn't correct. It just meant she had not done enough of that. She would redouble her efforts, believing that even in the failure, the problem wasn't in the answers she'd been given, but the effort she'd put forth. And since her husband, my father, marched to the beat of his own drum, he forever changed the equation.
Put simply, the problem wasn't the answers she'd been given, the problem was in the doing, or the lack thereof, so she tightened her hold on the answers while the questions of the world multiplied and sucked her down into the mire of dysfunction. My first glimpse that something was wrong, terribly wrong, came the morning after my wedding. Other than a severe downpour, my June 1957 church wedding went off without a glitch. Friends and family gathered with congratulations and celebration. The three-tiered wedding cake baked by my aunt tasted delicious. At the appropriate time-God forbid that I'd do anything inappropriate-I escaped to the bedroom, slipped out of the damp, white gown, and into a sky-blue suit and stood before the mirror. The girl staring back questioned whether it was true; had the wallflower really married the town's most eligible bachelor-the handsome twenty-three-year old preacher-boy? What a coup!
I was a kid playing grown up.
Barely seventeen, with another year of high school ahead of me, I had successfully fulfilled the expectations of my parents, of my peers, and of my church leaders. All was right with my world.
Until the next morning.
As we dressed, my husband sat tying his shoes. "There's one thing I need to tell you," he declared, glancing up at me, authority in his eyes. "God will always come first in my life. You'll be second-but God will be first." Then he stood, pulled his Bible out of the suitcase and opened it. "And we will read the Bible and pray together every day."
His well-intentioned words shattered something inside me, and the pieces tumbled to my feet, pieces of something undefined, yea unborn. I felt slapped, shoved aside. My role in the marriage would never be as an adult, but as a child with a male parent telling me what I would do-yea believe. The pious statement clearly defined the submissive wife. I was secondary. Further, when I needed an opinion, he'd give it to me. Our life together would be his life-not mine.
The disconnect had begun.
Before marriage, I had believed I was important to God and to him, but not now. Now, he and God came first, or his view of God, which, unquestionably, was the patriarchal Him. I came in a distant third.
What then was our marriage? Sacred? How could it be sacred, I wondered, when it is on the bottom of some pecking order.
A seed, a husk of that precious young woman burrowed deep into my soul, shut away from the sun, awaiting the call of the now.
Twenty-three years later, my preacher-foreign missionary-husband and I lived in El Paso, Texas, the cross-cultural city where drug pushers and gang members create their own 'axis of evil.' Where creators of graffiti compete with the majestic Franklin Mountains for attention, for immortality. Where, on the continuum of light and shadow; black and white; right and wrong, there is truth, not only on the ends, but at each point in between.
The day started no different than any other Monday for stay-at-home moms. My two oldest sons were at high school, my daughter at the junior high just blocks away, my husband at his office, and my toddler at home with me. Piles of laundry awaited their turn in the washer. Dirty dishes lay piled in the sink.
After forty years of self-doubt I had garnered courage and enrolled in community college the semester before. Now, at the end of my second semester, an upcoming final exam nagged me to study while I sat in a rocking chair cradling my limp two-year-old son, sick with bronchitis and asthma, his breath raspy, coughing.
From my vantage point I looked up to see my distressed-looking husband open the screen door and head back to the den. He didn't speak until he reached my side, but I knew bad news headed my way.
"My brother just called-your dad-just-just dropped dead of a heart attack," he finally choked out.
I pulled my sick baby to my heart and held him tight, numbness obliterating reality. "Why didn't he call me?" I finally asked, feeling slighted-wounded-that I hadn't received the call.
"He knew you and the baby were here by yourself," my husband explained.
"But it's my dad! He should have called me!"
Someone will call-Mother, my sister, brother, someone. I ached for the phone to ring, for my family to bring me into the loss. No one did. I strangely felt abandoned, cut out of the family. Everyone else was there in my hometown, but no one thought of me, 900 miles away. Neither my mother, nor my sister, nor my brother brought me into the family circle of grief by calling me and telling me my dad was dead-come home.
I recalled when I'd sat with the woman next door after her husband had dropped dead from a heart attack. How the neighbor had insisted on calling their only son, telling him, herself, of his dad's death. "No, no, that's my job," she'd said when the police offered to call. "He needs to hear this from his mom." How comforting, how loving that must have felt for the son.
I waited, not even understanding why the call was so important to me, but eventually I gave in, picked up the phone and called Mom. "Yeah, he's gone," she mumbled. "Are you coming?"
We loaded ourselves, four kids, suitcases and funeral clothes, into a small Chevy Citation and headed across desert at five o'clock that evening.
Earlier that day my father had gone home for lunch, quickly 'inhaled' his food, as always, and left again. It was May, in southeast Texas. Hot. Humid.
He always wore long sleeve khaki shirts and pants, and even died dressed in a pair while sitting in a boat in front of a bait shop.
I wanted to bury him in a suit of khakis, but Mom chose a blue suit, her one chance, she said, to dress him her way. Handsome, he was too, with his red hair and ruddy complexion. But rock hard and cold when I placed my hand on his cheek.
I didn't recognize the event for what it was-the beginning-the first day of my estrangement from God. The day my soul wrinkled when I overheard my mom talking to friends and family who called their regrets.
"I just really feel Jesus helping me get through this; if it wasn't for Jesus, I don't know what I'd do," Mother would say.
I didn't "just really feel Jesus helping me." Instead, I felt sucked into black, soul-crushing nothingness.
Jesus helped her-why not me? Perhaps this compassionate God I'd declared existed-didn't. Or maybe I wasn't worthy enough.
All I felt was pain, abandoned by my father, the one man in my life that I desperately wanted to love and accept me. And now my chances were gone.
Forever.
I'd done all the right things. I'd married a preacher-a good man-making the family proud, receiving my father's blessing, a blessing based not on me, but the marriage. A marriage that raised the family's worth in the community and church. A marriage that ended up making my father feel guilty, for years later I learned that when we came to visit, he hid his beer under the bed so he didn't offend my husband.
So, at 41, I took the first halting steps down off the pedestal of preacher's wife, yea-foreign missionary-and into wilderness, into the dead end of me.
It seemed the sun came up each day in a different corner of the sky. The pieces of bread I'd dropped along the way now became boulders blocking my path. I grieved alone. Family and friends offered comfort, but it didn't bring my father back, nor did it bring back this god-person who seemed to be there for everyone except me.
For the last 41 years, I had sacrificed me to become another person's definition of who I should be. I had gained a halo when I'd married the preacher-boy, and then later the halo had grown bigger and brighter when we became foreign missionaries. But now, after assisting hundreds of people in their spiritual journey, or telling myself I had, when I needed God the most, He wasn't there. I felt deserted and disillusioned. God didn't exist. I felt no Presence or love. No comfort, nor compassion. I felt no empathy, no heavenly understanding.
Smack in the middle of wilderness I began questioning what I'd been taught by the church, by my husband, by Christian scripture, by well-intentioned church members, other missionaries. At first I questioned in secret, still convinced there was something wrong with me, not God.
I enrolled as a freshman at the University of Texas at El Paso and a whole world opened up, a world I'd never known existed. I learned to think autonomously, analytically. I began raising questions about "truth." Questions that threatened my husband and his authority over me.
I began to see how I had bought the patriarchal myth and allowed my husband to be my authority figure-my parent-yea, my God-and, if not God, then definitely God's spokesman with a straight line to truth and divine will.
So I tried telling my story, but what I said threatened folks in my world, no one wanted to listen. I grew so exhausted from trying to be heard that finally I walked out past everyone, unnoticed. My body didn't leave, so they thought I was still there, but my heart was long gone.
Over time I learned to stand up for myself, claim what I believed, what I stood for, what I didn't stand for, and what I absolutely would not stand for and, as you might expect, this took a severe toll on my marriage.
One day my husband confronted me, asking, "Can't you go back and be like you used to be?"
I could try, I thought, but if I did, I'd die. Oh, my body may last a little longer, but my soul, already in a death-throe, would wither and blow away.
"I can't!" I cried, "I like me so much better now-for the first time in my life I like me!" "But I like you less!" he said, pain crawling down his face in deep deadening lines, overflowing, spilling onto the floor, creeping towards me. "I always felt superior to you," he continued, "but I don't anymore! Now I feel inferior!"
I knew his words to be true, always had, even felt it myself, but I didn't realize he did-or would admit it to himself, much less to me.
I got in my car and drove to White Sands National Park, climbed atop a dune of sparkling sand and watched the wind whip the 270 square acres of sand-piled desert. Watched the grains blow into the air, scatter, and then sift down in new locations. They ever advanced, ever changed, yet remained within the confines of their primordial plot. I squinted off into the distance, still hoping for God to top the dunes on a big white stallion and carry me off to glory.
No one came.
I shut my eyes, gritty against dashed hope, knowing what I had to do. Knowing if I didn't, I would surely die.
Years of guilt, passivity, submissiveness and domination had taken its toll. After a lifetime spent in the midst of a high-demand theology that proved unhealthy for me, my spirit felt chewed up and spit out, mangled, desiccated. Theology that taught me I was only complete when I served my husband, and yes obeyed; that I must submit to his control as if I too, were a child needing a watchful parent. A lifetime filled with holy-sounding platitudes and meaningless clichés.
It is unauthentic to pass off as Truth, experiences not yours, simply because other people tell you it is. I had spent a lifetime doing so. Actually, I didn't know I had a choice, and to stay in my marriage-I didn't.
But when you learn you've glibly handed out pat answers to life's most complicated questions; when you learn, despite sincere effort, you're the phony; that the answers, yea, the 'truths' you'd given weren't yours at all, but those given to you within a patriarchal world view, you must go back to the beginning.
And go back, I did. My wilderness wandering would last several more years, years spent reading, creating questions, discovering my own connection with God-as-I- Know-God. Not the patriarchal God of my past, but as a woman also created in the image of God. Through it all, I've learned that wilderness is a sacred place, and that while divorce is an end-it is also a beginning.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Abnormal Psychology - Human Behaviour
Common psychologists simply describe the psychological diseases and their manifestations. However, through dream interpretation you have a clear explanation of why your disease appeared in your psyche and more importantly, how you can be cured and stop having abnormal behaviour.
What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.
A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.
When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.
This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.
The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.
The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.
The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.
Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.
The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.
Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.
We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.
These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.
If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.
What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.
A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.
When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.
This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.
The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.
The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.
The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.
Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.
The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.
Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.
We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.
These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.
If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Abnormal Psychology - Human Behaviour
Common psychologists simply describe the psychological diseases and their manifestations. However, through dream interpretation you have a clear explanation of why your disease appeared in your psyche and more importantly, how you can be cured and stop having abnormal behaviour.
What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.
A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.
When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.
This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.
The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.
The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.
The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.
Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.
The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.
Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.
We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.
These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.
If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.
I greatly simplified Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation, which is the only accurate one, and now you can easily learn how to decipher the mysterious messages of your dreams, so that you'll be able to develop all your capacities and live happily, having a balanced and wise behaviour.
Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.
What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.
A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.
When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.
This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.
The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.
The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.
The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.
Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.
The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.
Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.
We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.
These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.
If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.
I greatly simplified Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation, which is the only accurate one, and now you can easily learn how to decipher the mysterious messages of your dreams, so that you'll be able to develop all your capacities and live happily, having a balanced and wise behaviour.
Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Five Ways to Irritate People Using the DISC Model of Human Behavior
Here are five sure-fire ways to irritate other people using the DISC model of human behavior:
Tell them how they're feeling or what they're thinking.
Explain to them why they did what they did or said what they said.
Decide for them what they will want from a given situation.
Analyze them and their behaviors.
Help them to be more like you.
I could continue with the list, but I'm sure you see the point. Any time we do any of the above using the DISC model, we are using the model as a weapon against the other person rather than as a tool to understand them more completely.
I teach the DISC model. I use the DISC model. I like the understanding it gives me of people with other viewpoints and perspectives. And, I recognize that it only reveals general patterns of behavior that apply to populations of people rather than absolutes that apply to individuals.
The model and the terms used as descriptors in the model come from statistical averages of population behaviors and perspectives. Using it to define, label, or box-in another person violates one of the first things I learned in my college statistics class: Never use a population statistic to describe an individual observation.
I encourage you to learn how to understand other people. I even encourage you to study the DISC model as a simple way to learn how to see the world from another person's perspective. I strongly discourage anyone from using the model as a weapon to harm, judge, or manipulate others.
Tell them how they're feeling or what they're thinking.
Explain to them why they did what they did or said what they said.
Decide for them what they will want from a given situation.
Analyze them and their behaviors.
Help them to be more like you.
I could continue with the list, but I'm sure you see the point. Any time we do any of the above using the DISC model, we are using the model as a weapon against the other person rather than as a tool to understand them more completely.
I teach the DISC model. I use the DISC model. I like the understanding it gives me of people with other viewpoints and perspectives. And, I recognize that it only reveals general patterns of behavior that apply to populations of people rather than absolutes that apply to individuals.
The model and the terms used as descriptors in the model come from statistical averages of population behaviors and perspectives. Using it to define, label, or box-in another person violates one of the first things I learned in my college statistics class: Never use a population statistic to describe an individual observation.
I encourage you to learn how to understand other people. I even encourage you to study the DISC model as a simple way to learn how to see the world from another person's perspective. I strongly discourage anyone from using the model as a weapon to harm, judge, or manipulate others.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
DISC Model of Human Behavior - A Brief Summary
As a teenager and young adult, I thought people were totally irrational and unpredictable. In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas of their lives and in many situations.
Understanding these patterns helped me to realize that people are not totally irrational. Most people simply see the world, prioritize their activities, communicate with others, and act according to relatively predictable patterns of behavior.
The model I learned, and eventually studied to the point of becoming a master trainer, is the DISC model of human behavior.
Before we even get into this article too deeply, I want to emphasize the statement that people tend to do things in predictable ways. I do not mean anything in this article to box people in, label people, or to imply that any of us can know everything about any other person merely by understanding their primary behavioral style (actually styles). Still, understanding the model can form a strong basis for learning to communicate with and understand other people in better and more effective ways.
That being said, here's a brief summary of how the model describes normal human behavior.
The foundation for the DISC model comes from the work Dr. William Moulton Marston in the 1920's. Dr. Marston was, at the time, a Harvard psychologist. From his research, he developed a theory that people tend to develop their self-concept based on one of four factors - Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness, or Compliance. This theory is the foundation for the DISC theory as it is usually taught today.
Over the years, other psychologists and behavioral specialists developed a number of different assessment, teaching tools, and models to apply Marston's theory in practice. If you search the web for DISC assessments, you will find a large number of assessment and measurement tools based on the DISC model readily available.
The founder and president of Personality Insights, Inc of Atlanta, Georgia, Dr. Robert Rohm, has developed a fantastic collection of practical resources based on the the DISC model with a positive focus.
As taught by Personality Insights consultants, the DISC model is described by a circle divided into quadrants to represent the full range of normal human behavior.
First, divide the circle in half horizontally to give you upper and lower halves to represent the "motor" or "pace" drive. The upper half of the circle represents outgoing or fast-paced people. The lower half represents reserved or slower-paced people. In general, outgoing people move fast, talk fast, and decide fast. And, more reserved people generally speak more slowly and more softly than outgoing people. Reserved people also often prefer to consider things more thoroughly before deciding.
Next, divide the circle vertically to give you left and right halves to represent the "compass" or "priority" drive. The left half represents task-oriented people. The right half represents people-oriented people. Task-oriented people tend to focus on logic, data, results and projects. People-oriented people tend to focus on experiences, feelings, relationships, and interactions with other people.
Combining these two ways of dividing the circle gives us four quadrants that break the circle into four broad descriptors for normal human behavior...
D-type individuals are represented by the upper left quadrant. They are outgoing and task-oriented. They tend to be Dominant and Decisive. They usually focus on results and the bottom-line.
I-type individuals are represented by the upper right quadrant. The are outgoing and people-oriented. They tend to be Inspiring and Influencing. They usually focus on talking and having fun.
S-type individuals are represented by the lower right quadrant. They are reserved and people-oriented. They tend to be Supportive and Steady. They usually focus on peace and harmony.
C-type individuals are represented by the lower left quadrant. They are reserved and task-oriented. They tend to be Cautious and Conscientious. They usually focus on facts and rules.
In practice, very few people exhibit behavioral patterns that fall neatly within any single quadrant. The vast majority of people generally exhibit at least two of the four basic traits in their everyday behaviors. Considering all of the different ways to combine the four traits and the varying intensities of the traits, a typical 24-question personality profile assessment can create 19,680 distinct and different profile types.
Describing the full range of application of the model is far beyond the scope of this article. In practice, simply understanding the four different basic behavioral styles creates a map for understanding ourselves and others more completely so that we can connect, communicate, and cooperate in more effective and productive ways.
Understanding these patterns helped me to realize that people are not totally irrational. Most people simply see the world, prioritize their activities, communicate with others, and act according to relatively predictable patterns of behavior.
The model I learned, and eventually studied to the point of becoming a master trainer, is the DISC model of human behavior.
Before we even get into this article too deeply, I want to emphasize the statement that people tend to do things in predictable ways. I do not mean anything in this article to box people in, label people, or to imply that any of us can know everything about any other person merely by understanding their primary behavioral style (actually styles). Still, understanding the model can form a strong basis for learning to communicate with and understand other people in better and more effective ways.
That being said, here's a brief summary of how the model describes normal human behavior.
The foundation for the DISC model comes from the work Dr. William Moulton Marston in the 1920's. Dr. Marston was, at the time, a Harvard psychologist. From his research, he developed a theory that people tend to develop their self-concept based on one of four factors - Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness, or Compliance. This theory is the foundation for the DISC theory as it is usually taught today.
Over the years, other psychologists and behavioral specialists developed a number of different assessment, teaching tools, and models to apply Marston's theory in practice. If you search the web for DISC assessments, you will find a large number of assessment and measurement tools based on the DISC model readily available.
The founder and president of Personality Insights, Inc of Atlanta, Georgia, Dr. Robert Rohm, has developed a fantastic collection of practical resources based on the the DISC model with a positive focus.
As taught by Personality Insights consultants, the DISC model is described by a circle divided into quadrants to represent the full range of normal human behavior.
First, divide the circle in half horizontally to give you upper and lower halves to represent the "motor" or "pace" drive. The upper half of the circle represents outgoing or fast-paced people. The lower half represents reserved or slower-paced people. In general, outgoing people move fast, talk fast, and decide fast. And, more reserved people generally speak more slowly and more softly than outgoing people. Reserved people also often prefer to consider things more thoroughly before deciding.
Next, divide the circle vertically to give you left and right halves to represent the "compass" or "priority" drive. The left half represents task-oriented people. The right half represents people-oriented people. Task-oriented people tend to focus on logic, data, results and projects. People-oriented people tend to focus on experiences, feelings, relationships, and interactions with other people.
Combining these two ways of dividing the circle gives us four quadrants that break the circle into four broad descriptors for normal human behavior...
D-type individuals are represented by the upper left quadrant. They are outgoing and task-oriented. They tend to be Dominant and Decisive. They usually focus on results and the bottom-line.
I-type individuals are represented by the upper right quadrant. The are outgoing and people-oriented. They tend to be Inspiring and Influencing. They usually focus on talking and having fun.
S-type individuals are represented by the lower right quadrant. They are reserved and people-oriented. They tend to be Supportive and Steady. They usually focus on peace and harmony.
C-type individuals are represented by the lower left quadrant. They are reserved and task-oriented. They tend to be Cautious and Conscientious. They usually focus on facts and rules.
In practice, very few people exhibit behavioral patterns that fall neatly within any single quadrant. The vast majority of people generally exhibit at least two of the four basic traits in their everyday behaviors. Considering all of the different ways to combine the four traits and the varying intensities of the traits, a typical 24-question personality profile assessment can create 19,680 distinct and different profile types.
Describing the full range of application of the model is far beyond the scope of this article. In practice, simply understanding the four different basic behavioral styles creates a map for understanding ourselves and others more completely so that we can connect, communicate, and cooperate in more effective and productive ways.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Abnormal Psychology - Human Behaviour
Common psychologists simply describe the psychological diseases and their manifestations. However, through dream interpretation you have a clear explanation of why your disease appeared in your psyche and more importantly, how you can be cured and stop having abnormal behaviour.
What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.
A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.
When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.
This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.
The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.
The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.
The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.
Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.
The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.
Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.
We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.
These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.
If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.
I greatly simplified Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation, which is the only accurate one, and now you can easily learn how to decipher the mysterious messages of your dreams, so that you'll be able to develop all your capacities and live happily, having a balanced and wise behaviour.
What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.
A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.
When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.
This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.
The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.
The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.
The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.
Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.
The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.
Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.
We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.
These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.
If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.
I greatly simplified Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation, which is the only accurate one, and now you can easily learn how to decipher the mysterious messages of your dreams, so that you'll be able to develop all your capacities and live happily, having a balanced and wise behaviour.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
How Human Behaviour Shapes Successful Business Strategies
People are fundamentally sheep - isn’t that what we’re always told? Sure, everyone likes to think that they are an individual and that they make individual decisions about what they do and how they choose to act, but the reality is that most of what we do is heavily influenced by the behaviour of others.
This is human behaviour, which is herd-like. As social creatures, what we do or don’t do is often based on what others are doing or not doing. People don’t really think about their actions. In fact, Mark Earls, a leading human behaviour and strategy expert, would argue that very often thinking comes after the fact - people act and process it later. He would also say that there’s not much point in asking people why they do what they do, because they don’t actually know.
Now, the trick is to harness the power of human behaviour to create successful business strategies and to build powerful brands. If you consider the power of crowd mentality in your strategies (which perhaps goes a little against conventional wisdom about how people make choices) you are virtually guaranteed to have a strategy that will succeed. Why? Simply because you will be able to develop strategies that work by understanding peoples’ behaviour. You will understand how new ideas really catch on and are disseminated, and how to create momentum and longevity behind your strategic objectives - whatever these may be.
Considering people are the number one resource in business today, it’s surprising how little we consider the true nature of human beings within the scope of business strategy. A century ago, the main resource of a business was capital which bought the things a business needed to thrive such as land, materials, transport and so forth. Today though, up to 85% of the economy in developed countries is based on human interaction at a variety of levels.
This is why it’s important to understand human behaviour and to shape strategy around it - because people (staff, customers, suppliers and distributers etc) are an essential resource in today’s business world.
Mark Earls challenges strategists to really think about things. In an eBook entitled Understanding How Behaviour Shapes Strategy, he discusses his thinking on the subject of people and strategy. Thing is, our misconceptions about human behaviour and why people do things is what fundamentally undermines most strategies. A different view of people may just change the rules for forward-thinking businesses.
Earls contends that while Marketing attempts to shape mass behaviour, its attempts are poor. This is shown by the fact that most new products fail within the first year, and the ones that survive struggle to make any long-lasting or substantial impact on the consumers’ behaviour. He goes on to say that the reason for this is perhaps that our interpretation of what causes human behaviour and how to shape it is wrong.
Earls says there are two views that are fundamentally flawed in our understanding of what shapes behaviour. Firstly, we think that to change behaviour we need to change minds when in fact the opposite is true. The second mistake we make is thinking that ideas and behaviour spread through “the corridors of influence”, through ‘The Few’ when in fact it is ‘The Many’ that really make the difference.
When you consider the relationship between attitudes and behaviour, how new ideas and habits get formed and how to create the momentum that creates real and lasting change you will find that the best strategies take human behaviour into account. Strategies in fact only work if they change human behaviour. Whether you are dealing with staff, customers, investors or others, you first have to understand how people work and how new ideas catch on to appreciate what makes for successful business strategies.
This is human behaviour, which is herd-like. As social creatures, what we do or don’t do is often based on what others are doing or not doing. People don’t really think about their actions. In fact, Mark Earls, a leading human behaviour and strategy expert, would argue that very often thinking comes after the fact - people act and process it later. He would also say that there’s not much point in asking people why they do what they do, because they don’t actually know.
Now, the trick is to harness the power of human behaviour to create successful business strategies and to build powerful brands. If you consider the power of crowd mentality in your strategies (which perhaps goes a little against conventional wisdom about how people make choices) you are virtually guaranteed to have a strategy that will succeed. Why? Simply because you will be able to develop strategies that work by understanding peoples’ behaviour. You will understand how new ideas really catch on and are disseminated, and how to create momentum and longevity behind your strategic objectives - whatever these may be.
Considering people are the number one resource in business today, it’s surprising how little we consider the true nature of human beings within the scope of business strategy. A century ago, the main resource of a business was capital which bought the things a business needed to thrive such as land, materials, transport and so forth. Today though, up to 85% of the economy in developed countries is based on human interaction at a variety of levels.
This is why it’s important to understand human behaviour and to shape strategy around it - because people (staff, customers, suppliers and distributers etc) are an essential resource in today’s business world.
Mark Earls challenges strategists to really think about things. In an eBook entitled Understanding How Behaviour Shapes Strategy, he discusses his thinking on the subject of people and strategy. Thing is, our misconceptions about human behaviour and why people do things is what fundamentally undermines most strategies. A different view of people may just change the rules for forward-thinking businesses.
Earls contends that while Marketing attempts to shape mass behaviour, its attempts are poor. This is shown by the fact that most new products fail within the first year, and the ones that survive struggle to make any long-lasting or substantial impact on the consumers’ behaviour. He goes on to say that the reason for this is perhaps that our interpretation of what causes human behaviour and how to shape it is wrong.
Earls says there are two views that are fundamentally flawed in our understanding of what shapes behaviour. Firstly, we think that to change behaviour we need to change minds when in fact the opposite is true. The second mistake we make is thinking that ideas and behaviour spread through “the corridors of influence”, through ‘The Few’ when in fact it is ‘The Many’ that really make the difference.
When you consider the relationship between attitudes and behaviour, how new ideas and habits get formed and how to create the momentum that creates real and lasting change you will find that the best strategies take human behaviour into account. Strategies in fact only work if they change human behaviour. Whether you are dealing with staff, customers, investors or others, you first have to understand how people work and how new ideas catch on to appreciate what makes for successful business strategies.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The Earths Geomagnetism Its Effects on Human Behaviour
No two days are ever the same for any event that takes place. This has a major impact on planning, holding events, sales and advertising, seminars, fundraising and other events where a large group of people get together. We've all had times where a party, fundraiser or other group event turned out poorly and yet we hold the party a different day, everything works out perfect. Science is now starting to prove that the general mood of the population is being governed by two major factors; the amount of geomagnetic activity taking place on the earth and the amount of activity coming from the sun. Not all active solar activity is negative, at the right times, this activity can be a major boost to mankind in general. Examples of this in earth's previous history demonstrate that at peak sunspot cycles, major scientific discovery and achievements have occurred. Alternatively increased solar activity has been shown to make people irritable and decrease the overall well being of the population. It is the delicate balance between the earths geomagnetism and negative ions in the air that account for whether these levels of activity are going to be positive or negative in nature. We all know the positive benefits that negative ions provide, both for health and well being. These negative ions also occur naturally around the earth and at certain times are more increased and at other times their levels are lower.
The new science starting to describe and interpret the behavior of humans based on the earth and sun's behavior is known as the Behavioral Response Indice. By using software algorithms, science is now starting to find the perfect balance of negative ions, the right level of earth's geomagnetic activity and the future amount of activity the sun will project onto the earth and create a forecastable index. Just as satellites have forecast systems warning of future dangerous electrons that can destroy communications systems, a Behavioral Response Indice warns of days where holding large events or seminars would be unadvisable due to the solar and geomagnetic climatic conditions occurring on that date. This can have a major impact on industry, education and society as a whole. It can boost productivity by allowing a more smoother flow of ideas and innovations to occur at seminars, conventions etc. It can create a stimulating and positive atmosphere for attendees and improve morale for public speakers and other exhibitors who speak at corporate events, venues and other events. We already use weather forecasting and space weather forecasting to plan ahead, on the horizon is behavioral response forecasting.
The new science starting to describe and interpret the behavior of humans based on the earth and sun's behavior is known as the Behavioral Response Indice. By using software algorithms, science is now starting to find the perfect balance of negative ions, the right level of earth's geomagnetic activity and the future amount of activity the sun will project onto the earth and create a forecastable index. Just as satellites have forecast systems warning of future dangerous electrons that can destroy communications systems, a Behavioral Response Indice warns of days where holding large events or seminars would be unadvisable due to the solar and geomagnetic climatic conditions occurring on that date. This can have a major impact on industry, education and society as a whole. It can boost productivity by allowing a more smoother flow of ideas and innovations to occur at seminars, conventions etc. It can create a stimulating and positive atmosphere for attendees and improve morale for public speakers and other exhibitors who speak at corporate events, venues and other events. We already use weather forecasting and space weather forecasting to plan ahead, on the horizon is behavioral response forecasting.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Eight Great Human Behavior Science Projects
Human Behavior Science Projects explore the fascinating ways that human beings behave. Behavioral projects are a popular choice for kids headed to the science fair. While gathering enough test subjects can be tricky, these projects can be a great way for students to learn about testing, meet interesting people, and have fun. There are so many things to discover, that the hardest part may be simply choosing a topic. Here's a list of ideas to get you started.
1. Determine the soothing effect of music by taking the pulse before and after a five minute session of classical piano.
2. See if more people are visual learners or auditory learners by having humans memorize a telephone number that they only see, then a different one that they only hear.
3. Discover if wearing glasses helps or hurts a salesperson's profit. Have a salesperson wear glasses for a series of days, then go to work without the glasses. Compare their total sales for the two periods.
4. Find out if yawning is contagious behavior by watching a group of children before and after the group leader yawns. Note that because it is such a primitive reflex, yawning is a very popular human behavior science project subject.
5. Are younger children more inclined to like their teachers than older students? Rate the popularity of teachers that teach different ages of kids.
6. Measure the time it takes for children to learn a poem set to music or not set to music.
7. Find out if the scent of lemon helps attention by calculating test scores of people who have or have not sniffed a lemon. This is a great science project that might help ADHD students!
8. Find out if two ears or one are better at localizing a sound by hiding an object, and timing how long individuals take to find it. (Get a complete project guide for this project at Online Science Projects.)
Of course, you don't need a study of human behavior to know that students like to come up with new and unique ideas. So put on your thinking cap and come up with your own human behavior science project!
1. Determine the soothing effect of music by taking the pulse before and after a five minute session of classical piano.
2. See if more people are visual learners or auditory learners by having humans memorize a telephone number that they only see, then a different one that they only hear.
3. Discover if wearing glasses helps or hurts a salesperson's profit. Have a salesperson wear glasses for a series of days, then go to work without the glasses. Compare their total sales for the two periods.
4. Find out if yawning is contagious behavior by watching a group of children before and after the group leader yawns. Note that because it is such a primitive reflex, yawning is a very popular human behavior science project subject.
5. Are younger children more inclined to like their teachers than older students? Rate the popularity of teachers that teach different ages of kids.
6. Measure the time it takes for children to learn a poem set to music or not set to music.
7. Find out if the scent of lemon helps attention by calculating test scores of people who have or have not sniffed a lemon. This is a great science project that might help ADHD students!
8. Find out if two ears or one are better at localizing a sound by hiding an object, and timing how long individuals take to find it. (Get a complete project guide for this project at Online Science Projects.)
Of course, you don't need a study of human behavior to know that students like to come up with new and unique ideas. So put on your thinking cap and come up with your own human behavior science project!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Sociology of Human Behavior - External Influences on Perception of Others
This evening I decided that I would try a small experiment to test the theory that we all tend to "judge" others based on appearnace and come to some conclusions about the way that person is from those perceptions.
For the past 6 months I have been network marketing and have had a rather conservative picture on my Facebook profile. Tonight I changed that to a photo that was of me 3 years ago when I had my Wiccan shop running full time. The Witches Haven in Cedar City Utah.
I was not so surprised to see what the result was. The immediate result was that I received comments of shock...one even saying...WOW! Others were less "shocked" and ranged from a thumbs up to "I didn't have any clue". This is not a negative thing and my theory was not to show negativity versus positive resulting reactions but to see raw reaction...period.
I placed a status statement shortly after placing the picture on my profile that stated, "I changed my profile picture here to make a point. Whether you call your clergy Bishop, Father, Rabbi, or High Priest,etc...never judge by the cover as we are peaceful and only wish to assist our fellow man."
I am happy to state that while my theory was proven that we all make judgments or we tend to have pre-conceived ideas of one another we also have the intelligence to think about these ideas and notions and make informed decisions about our final judgment.
I hope that we all will take the time to think about how we are judging others based on appearances only and that we will stop and think about all of the reasoning and conditions that played into the way they appear. I may have looked like a "hippy" to some. A "satanic" person to others...neither of which would have been any where near accurate.
This article will be appearing in a post on my blog and by the time this is posted the picture on my FB profile will have been changed back. I neglected to mention that apparently it did have the affect that people were no longer friend requesting me and some chose to leave and that was also expected. I have left it on my blog as it portrays who I truly am...away from the politics...and out of the "lime light" as it were.
May we all be cautious about the way we are treating one another because of the language we may speak, the clothing we may wear, the creed we may hold ourselves to, and just treat one another with the respect that deep down we all deserve. In the end nothing else matters but the fact that we are all here on earth and we are all human and have feelings, emotions and frailties.
Until next time take care of yourselves and each other. Brightest blessings
For the past 6 months I have been network marketing and have had a rather conservative picture on my Facebook profile. Tonight I changed that to a photo that was of me 3 years ago when I had my Wiccan shop running full time. The Witches Haven in Cedar City Utah.
I was not so surprised to see what the result was. The immediate result was that I received comments of shock...one even saying...WOW! Others were less "shocked" and ranged from a thumbs up to "I didn't have any clue". This is not a negative thing and my theory was not to show negativity versus positive resulting reactions but to see raw reaction...period.
I placed a status statement shortly after placing the picture on my profile that stated, "I changed my profile picture here to make a point. Whether you call your clergy Bishop, Father, Rabbi, or High Priest,etc...never judge by the cover as we are peaceful and only wish to assist our fellow man."
I am happy to state that while my theory was proven that we all make judgments or we tend to have pre-conceived ideas of one another we also have the intelligence to think about these ideas and notions and make informed decisions about our final judgment.
I hope that we all will take the time to think about how we are judging others based on appearances only and that we will stop and think about all of the reasoning and conditions that played into the way they appear. I may have looked like a "hippy" to some. A "satanic" person to others...neither of which would have been any where near accurate.
This article will be appearing in a post on my blog and by the time this is posted the picture on my FB profile will have been changed back. I neglected to mention that apparently it did have the affect that people were no longer friend requesting me and some chose to leave and that was also expected. I have left it on my blog as it portrays who I truly am...away from the politics...and out of the "lime light" as it were.
May we all be cautious about the way we are treating one another because of the language we may speak, the clothing we may wear, the creed we may hold ourselves to, and just treat one another with the respect that deep down we all deserve. In the end nothing else matters but the fact that we are all here on earth and we are all human and have feelings, emotions and frailties.
Until next time take care of yourselves and each other. Brightest blessings
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
How Human Pheromone Products Can Give You The Sexual Edge
What is the best pheromone product on the market? Is there one product that out strips the rest and guarantees you success with the opposite sex, or for that matter, the same sex?
Human pheromones have made an impact on today's society as their role in human behaviour is better understood. The pheromone product industry has grown rapidly as savvy marketers realise the potential to make money from a public audience looking for shortcuts to "nail" there next sexual conquest.
Can Pheromone Products Guarantee Sexual Success?
Those people buying human pheromone products thinking it's the answer to attracting a sexual mate should really understand the role this invisible chemical actually plays in human interaction. Will a dab of pheromone cologne guarantee you success in the sexual stakes? No it won't. Why? Because as it was put to me by a manufacturer recently, "somebody can give you the light switch but you still need to turn it on!"
Wearing a pheromone product is designed to instill an air of confidence in the "wearer." Don't think for a minute guys that by simply having it on and then walking into a night club is going to see you mobbed by dozens of ravenous women. Sure, you'll probably get noticed but the main action of the pheromone product is to help you "break the ice" and once you do, it's then up to you to continue to create an impression.
The Best Pheromone Product On The Market
So what is the best pheromone product on the market. Well I'm not too sure there is a best product but one of the safest ways in finding the best legitimate products are by concentrating on those companies who produce and manufacture their own oils, cologne and spray in house. Why? By producing their own products, they've obviously spent crucial time and money in testing what works and what doesn't work with the end creation a result of this research. And you can bet they won't be resting on their laurels as they continually refine and test different combinations.
Does Price Matter?
Products come in a variety of forms including cologne, spray, oils and enhancers. One thing that continually amazes me is the price differences between the various products. Is a pheromone cologne worth $30 less effective than a cologne being promoted at over a hundred dollars? This is often the problem facing many prospective consumers.
More is not always best and by following the earlier strategy of sticking with those in-house produced products, your pheromone experience should generally be a happy one. Also, look for companies who provide on-going support; they may have a newsletter you can sign up for. It's a sure sign that they are in it for the long haul and not just a fly-by-nighter. You'll also find that they are loyal to their regular customers providing deals such as two-for-one or buy a bottle of this cologne and receive a complimentary dab brush.
Remember, the best pheromone product won't get you "mauled" by the opposite sex but it can help you get off the "batting plate." Then it's up to you to negotiate your way around the diamond.
Human pheromones have made an impact on today's society as their role in human behaviour is better understood. The pheromone product industry has grown rapidly as savvy marketers realise the potential to make money from a public audience looking for shortcuts to "nail" there next sexual conquest.
Can Pheromone Products Guarantee Sexual Success?
Those people buying human pheromone products thinking it's the answer to attracting a sexual mate should really understand the role this invisible chemical actually plays in human interaction. Will a dab of pheromone cologne guarantee you success in the sexual stakes? No it won't. Why? Because as it was put to me by a manufacturer recently, "somebody can give you the light switch but you still need to turn it on!"
Wearing a pheromone product is designed to instill an air of confidence in the "wearer." Don't think for a minute guys that by simply having it on and then walking into a night club is going to see you mobbed by dozens of ravenous women. Sure, you'll probably get noticed but the main action of the pheromone product is to help you "break the ice" and once you do, it's then up to you to continue to create an impression.
The Best Pheromone Product On The Market
So what is the best pheromone product on the market. Well I'm not too sure there is a best product but one of the safest ways in finding the best legitimate products are by concentrating on those companies who produce and manufacture their own oils, cologne and spray in house. Why? By producing their own products, they've obviously spent crucial time and money in testing what works and what doesn't work with the end creation a result of this research. And you can bet they won't be resting on their laurels as they continually refine and test different combinations.
Does Price Matter?
Products come in a variety of forms including cologne, spray, oils and enhancers. One thing that continually amazes me is the price differences between the various products. Is a pheromone cologne worth $30 less effective than a cologne being promoted at over a hundred dollars? This is often the problem facing many prospective consumers.
More is not always best and by following the earlier strategy of sticking with those in-house produced products, your pheromone experience should generally be a happy one. Also, look for companies who provide on-going support; they may have a newsletter you can sign up for. It's a sure sign that they are in it for the long haul and not just a fly-by-nighter. You'll also find that they are loyal to their regular customers providing deals such as two-for-one or buy a bottle of this cologne and receive a complimentary dab brush.
Remember, the best pheromone product won't get you "mauled" by the opposite sex but it can help you get off the "batting plate." Then it's up to you to negotiate your way around the diamond.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
The Secret to Understanding Human Behavior
The success of The Secret, Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol and the newly released movie Avatar offer strong evidence that everywhere and in every way people are realizing that our planet is composed of interconnected systems of energy and consciousness that extend far beyond the connections that we imagined in the past. At the center of this new understanding is the idea that every thought and everything is a bundle of potential energy, and that thoughts can become things. Unfortunately, this new understanding does not extend to our insights into human behavior. Today's managers, parents and other authority figures have not yet let go of their archaic cause-and-effect ways of thinking about human behavior. Thinking like this leads people to boxing and labeling, diagnosing, treating and quick fixing techniques for influencing the behavior of others. While managers have developed the understanding that stimuli such as needs and desires are inside of us, they have not moved away from stimulus-response thinking. Few have embraced a different way of understanding human behavior known as Perceptual Control Theory, PCT for short. PCT is the human behavior corollary to systems thinking about and understanding of the world around us.
In the late 1950's, William T. Powers recognized that our increasing skill at building mechanical control systems really revealed a deeper understanding of the ins and outs of human behavior. Control systems thinkers realized that a person was, in fact, a closed loop negative feedback system. These thinkers defined behavior as the control of perception. This revolutionary concept has yet to gain widespread understanding and acceptance, and it has yet to lead to a change in thinking about how we manage ourselves and others. Once we understand human behavior through this different paradigm, we recognize that punishments, rewards, threats, guilt, praise, shaming, and bullying are forms of coercion that will not work long term and often create severe damage along the way to the individuals involved, to the relationships between or among them, to the organization of which they are members, and to society as a whole.
Control is a simple process involving action, perception and comparison. Action results when many internal signals trigger the firing of neurons that affect muscles and glands. Typing (which is the action I am taking right now) is created when billions of neurons fire and signal muscles which create movement in my fingers. The only evidence I have that this internal signaling and firing is happening is the perception of letters that form words appearing on the screen. I am controlling for specific letter combinations to appear on the screen in front of me. To know if I am accomplishing this result, I am constantly comparing the letters I see to the letters I desire. I am in a relationship with my environment at all times. I am attempting to create the world I want.
The complexity and interconnection of the system reaches beyond 'me and the environment;' it extends to multiple levels inside of me. On one level I am controlling for specific letter combinations, on a higher level I am control for grammar, punctuation and spelling, and on a higher level yet I am controlling for a message. Just as the roots of a tree interact with the environment in which they are embedded, I interact with the world around me. Moreover, like the tree whose roots are in relationship with the wood, the bark, the branches and the leaves, my system has multiple layers of relationships and interconnections. What at first seems simple becomes more complex, and beyond the complexity, there remains one simple answer to the question: why we do what we do. We do it because at that moment what we want and what we perceive do not match. Conscious awareness of what we want and how we perceive the world are essential ingredients in understanding ourselves and others.
Once we understand and integrate an understanding of PCT into how we live and interact with others and our environment, we view all living systems as bundles of potentiality which are constantly involved in the process of controlling. All we can be to each other is disturbance; a helping or hindering force in the environment. In your relationships with others, which do you want to be? To be a helping force, recognize and seek to understand what the person wants by asking, "What do you want?" Instead of making all sorts of assumptions about what would help, simply ask, "How might I help?" Operating with a PCT attitude embraces the potential within everyone and honors an individual's ability to manifest what he or she desire. The secret to understanding human behavior is to recognize and understand the natural process of control.
In the late 1950's, William T. Powers recognized that our increasing skill at building mechanical control systems really revealed a deeper understanding of the ins and outs of human behavior. Control systems thinkers realized that a person was, in fact, a closed loop negative feedback system. These thinkers defined behavior as the control of perception. This revolutionary concept has yet to gain widespread understanding and acceptance, and it has yet to lead to a change in thinking about how we manage ourselves and others. Once we understand human behavior through this different paradigm, we recognize that punishments, rewards, threats, guilt, praise, shaming, and bullying are forms of coercion that will not work long term and often create severe damage along the way to the individuals involved, to the relationships between or among them, to the organization of which they are members, and to society as a whole.
Control is a simple process involving action, perception and comparison. Action results when many internal signals trigger the firing of neurons that affect muscles and glands. Typing (which is the action I am taking right now) is created when billions of neurons fire and signal muscles which create movement in my fingers. The only evidence I have that this internal signaling and firing is happening is the perception of letters that form words appearing on the screen. I am controlling for specific letter combinations to appear on the screen in front of me. To know if I am accomplishing this result, I am constantly comparing the letters I see to the letters I desire. I am in a relationship with my environment at all times. I am attempting to create the world I want.
The complexity and interconnection of the system reaches beyond 'me and the environment;' it extends to multiple levels inside of me. On one level I am controlling for specific letter combinations, on a higher level I am control for grammar, punctuation and spelling, and on a higher level yet I am controlling for a message. Just as the roots of a tree interact with the environment in which they are embedded, I interact with the world around me. Moreover, like the tree whose roots are in relationship with the wood, the bark, the branches and the leaves, my system has multiple layers of relationships and interconnections. What at first seems simple becomes more complex, and beyond the complexity, there remains one simple answer to the question: why we do what we do. We do it because at that moment what we want and what we perceive do not match. Conscious awareness of what we want and how we perceive the world are essential ingredients in understanding ourselves and others.
Once we understand and integrate an understanding of PCT into how we live and interact with others and our environment, we view all living systems as bundles of potentiality which are constantly involved in the process of controlling. All we can be to each other is disturbance; a helping or hindering force in the environment. In your relationships with others, which do you want to be? To be a helping force, recognize and seek to understand what the person wants by asking, "What do you want?" Instead of making all sorts of assumptions about what would help, simply ask, "How might I help?" Operating with a PCT attitude embraces the potential within everyone and honors an individual's ability to manifest what he or she desire. The secret to understanding human behavior is to recognize and understand the natural process of control.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Environment and Human Behavior
The current vision of the world on environmental issues enables a greater scope and detail about what happens to the environment where they are all living beings. Disasters, tragedies, plundering and exploitation of the natural assets have been increasingly explicit in the face of human society, causing environmental imbalances leading to fatigue and the nature. The purpose of sustainability is that human beings are considered part of nature, being able to develop their actions in balance with the environment in which they live.
Considering the evolutionary history of human thought, it is noted that the thinking of man are becoming throughout history, where it hangs a clash of the old Cartesian paradigm and the new paradigm, that of sustainability. Knowing the evolutionary process of human thought can be pointed as cause for the problem diagnosed: environmental problems not bother enough people so that they act, there is no motivation or personal initiative to trigger environmental action, awareness does not necessarily trigger changes of attitudes, not the accountability of people before the environmental issue.
The solutions to the problem of the programs and projects already working on environmental perception, awareness and consciousness, causing an emphasis on emotion in people that have been sensitized to promote the changes necessary to achieve sustainability.
Considering the parameters that influence the analysis and results of this work, it remains within its objectives, but to propose new ideas for influence in overcoming the processing of environmental awareness in active movement. Building new cultural values, social, political and economic then contributing to formation of a new global consciousness in favor of life and all the diversity in nature.
The actions committed for the environment today does not match that of people aware. We stopped on the concrete action to minimize the impacts that cause. Timid political movements and the majority are electioneering (Search by votes) try to convince people that we work with nature as a small part of the city's trash is separated for recycling, and when changes are government projects past are overlooked or neglected, start another program as environmental be the first to worry about the environmental issue. The search for the reasons that make the conscious action of the generator attitudes and processes that can begin to mitigate the environmental problems is significant, considering the inconsistency of people aware of the existence and the lack of permanent environmental actions.
Working for a healthy environment, the effective action of a company organized and concerned to know, understand and exercise their responsibilities. Referring to the Medical Education, (KIKUCHI, 1991 p. 166) warns: You can not compare to the action self cure therapy with conventional medical therapy. The purpose of self cure therapy is to empower the healing of patients who must be an act essentially self-educational and not medical. The expropriation of health, holding to the doctors, the exclusive right to treatment for patients and difficult to author, using for that the law, follows, essentially, to ignorance and financial interests. This is one of the main factors that cause disease in troubled modern world. The disease is like a fire and the doctor is like the firefighter.
Although the total mobilization of the entire capacity of the doctor (firefighter) and the use of all equipment, there are still many serious diseases (large fires) that develop in parallel with the rapid development of science and mechanical technology of today. No use looking only technological progress and the practical with their firefighter equipment and instruments, if we strengthen and warned against the fire. We must protect us from disease flare of individual children as well as major fires (epidemics and wars). The disease appears as a possibility for growth, as a barrier that helps us to raise awareness that the imbalance is crucial for maintaining the relative balance. So what if search is not clear how the fire, because if you do not know, just study it and is the most effective method for this. What you want is the self facing the environment. The expropriation of nature is what is bad, compared to the previous reference Kikuchi health. Treat evil is not enough, we must prevent it and that is necessary to investigate what was lost and bring back the habit to return the balance to maintain, and also get the natural balance of ecosystems.
Looking under the same parameters of the search for balance you can cite other examples of the confusion in other segments such as: violent authorities want to stop the violence, doctors want to stop the cancer producing more cancer, educators want to promote education transmitting a fragmented vision and escravizante of reality. Clearly, something is wrong.
There is the need to replace the Cartesian-Newtonian paradigm, consolidated by the positivist doctrine, which still governs our lives. There should be a change in view of the world, considering that the greatest crisis affecting humanity is the crisis of perception, as a warning Capra (1996).
Education has strategic role in the process of environmental management, training of children and young people, incorporating environmental and human values, emphasizing the sense of daily practices with the theory initiated in the classroom, leading to a culture of sustainability, a culture the harmonic coexistence between human beings and between them and nature. The pursuit of sustainable development seems utopian, but the utopian ideas are to build something you dream, and dream is to generate hope. It is the desire to abstract a concrete reality, to stop rambling on firm ground to tread. Developing sustainability means being focused not only on production, is to think and solve small to condescend to the proposed logical natural process, or find the answers in nature to solve the problems. Issues that were created by humans, when we forget that the natural, the organic, and that depends on it. We must go back to origins to rethink the way of human life. Look what has been lost to fit the missing piece of to return to participate in the life cycle of the earth.
Sustainable development as its basic resource elect the creative initiative of individuals and as a fundamental objective the welfare of the material and spiritual. In communities that work well, even when there is poverty, there are also ingenious strategies for survival. (BARROS, 2002, p. 4) According Lerípio (2001, p. 2), the environment and development must cease to be confrontational to become a partnership relationship. The key point of the issue becomes the need for a peaceful coexistence between the quality of the environment and economic development.
What actions have been geared to protecting the environment is needed desvencilhar the mystery of consciousness and their ability to bring actions aware, committed and responsible for spreading solutions of problems and significant environmental improvements. You can not just plant trees in the gardens each year the week of the environment and to worship at that moment as if representing large effect on people and the environment. We must grow conscious attitudes in people, it is important to environmental awareness is no action to mitigate environmental impacts. The continuation of underdevelopment in environmental continuity is the act of playing the remains of food in the same brass in which recyclable materials or as forests are devastated areas equivalent to a big stadium every day, eliminating several endangered species of both flora as fauna, and authorities are not pressured to make this safeguard.
Understanding the basis of generating actions is very important to reach people aware so they can have their attitudes consistent with their way of thinking. Finding the factor for the actions has been a tool much more than just awareness. If awareness were large enough there would be concerns about the environmental issue, as is evident in the company to be established there, in various segments of multipliers of environmental awareness. Maybe the majority did not see the seriousness with which environmentalists have seen, hence the need for treatment of shock, or see the reality that hits on the emotionally and be done with nature and the like. Considering the importance of these aspects, this paper attempts to point out answers or solutions to the inertia of rest where people park conscious and not aware, to have the factor or factors instigators to a state of movement for activities beneficial to the environment, a inertia of movement of environmentally conscious heads.
If every person endowed with environmental awareness still lacks reason to act on the environmental issue is instigated in the right spot to develop attitudes that same individual to remedy environmental damage or prevent them, work is more than a contribution to environmental education, but yes, the trigger that fires every person other than his desire to make their way of life today, to more healthy attitudes from a particular, emotional, psychological, actor in major changes necessary for preservation and conservation of an integrated world of humans and nature as it always was, one thing only. To search for the guideline have research that points to a single direction desvencilhando of the nuances that may be involved in your real objective is therefore necessary to infer the problem question: Why do many people, although being environmentally aware, yet have no rational attitudes that are taking actions environmentally sound?
Considering the evolutionary history of human thought, it is noted that the thinking of man are becoming throughout history, where it hangs a clash of the old Cartesian paradigm and the new paradigm, that of sustainability. Knowing the evolutionary process of human thought can be pointed as cause for the problem diagnosed: environmental problems not bother enough people so that they act, there is no motivation or personal initiative to trigger environmental action, awareness does not necessarily trigger changes of attitudes, not the accountability of people before the environmental issue.
The solutions to the problem of the programs and projects already working on environmental perception, awareness and consciousness, causing an emphasis on emotion in people that have been sensitized to promote the changes necessary to achieve sustainability.
Considering the parameters that influence the analysis and results of this work, it remains within its objectives, but to propose new ideas for influence in overcoming the processing of environmental awareness in active movement. Building new cultural values, social, political and economic then contributing to formation of a new global consciousness in favor of life and all the diversity in nature.
The actions committed for the environment today does not match that of people aware. We stopped on the concrete action to minimize the impacts that cause. Timid political movements and the majority are electioneering (Search by votes) try to convince people that we work with nature as a small part of the city's trash is separated for recycling, and when changes are government projects past are overlooked or neglected, start another program as environmental be the first to worry about the environmental issue. The search for the reasons that make the conscious action of the generator attitudes and processes that can begin to mitigate the environmental problems is significant, considering the inconsistency of people aware of the existence and the lack of permanent environmental actions.
Working for a healthy environment, the effective action of a company organized and concerned to know, understand and exercise their responsibilities. Referring to the Medical Education, (KIKUCHI, 1991 p. 166) warns: You can not compare to the action self cure therapy with conventional medical therapy. The purpose of self cure therapy is to empower the healing of patients who must be an act essentially self-educational and not medical. The expropriation of health, holding to the doctors, the exclusive right to treatment for patients and difficult to author, using for that the law, follows, essentially, to ignorance and financial interests. This is one of the main factors that cause disease in troubled modern world. The disease is like a fire and the doctor is like the firefighter.
Although the total mobilization of the entire capacity of the doctor (firefighter) and the use of all equipment, there are still many serious diseases (large fires) that develop in parallel with the rapid development of science and mechanical technology of today. No use looking only technological progress and the practical with their firefighter equipment and instruments, if we strengthen and warned against the fire. We must protect us from disease flare of individual children as well as major fires (epidemics and wars). The disease appears as a possibility for growth, as a barrier that helps us to raise awareness that the imbalance is crucial for maintaining the relative balance. So what if search is not clear how the fire, because if you do not know, just study it and is the most effective method for this. What you want is the self facing the environment. The expropriation of nature is what is bad, compared to the previous reference Kikuchi health. Treat evil is not enough, we must prevent it and that is necessary to investigate what was lost and bring back the habit to return the balance to maintain, and also get the natural balance of ecosystems.
Looking under the same parameters of the search for balance you can cite other examples of the confusion in other segments such as: violent authorities want to stop the violence, doctors want to stop the cancer producing more cancer, educators want to promote education transmitting a fragmented vision and escravizante of reality. Clearly, something is wrong.
There is the need to replace the Cartesian-Newtonian paradigm, consolidated by the positivist doctrine, which still governs our lives. There should be a change in view of the world, considering that the greatest crisis affecting humanity is the crisis of perception, as a warning Capra (1996).
Education has strategic role in the process of environmental management, training of children and young people, incorporating environmental and human values, emphasizing the sense of daily practices with the theory initiated in the classroom, leading to a culture of sustainability, a culture the harmonic coexistence between human beings and between them and nature. The pursuit of sustainable development seems utopian, but the utopian ideas are to build something you dream, and dream is to generate hope. It is the desire to abstract a concrete reality, to stop rambling on firm ground to tread. Developing sustainability means being focused not only on production, is to think and solve small to condescend to the proposed logical natural process, or find the answers in nature to solve the problems. Issues that were created by humans, when we forget that the natural, the organic, and that depends on it. We must go back to origins to rethink the way of human life. Look what has been lost to fit the missing piece of to return to participate in the life cycle of the earth.
Sustainable development as its basic resource elect the creative initiative of individuals and as a fundamental objective the welfare of the material and spiritual. In communities that work well, even when there is poverty, there are also ingenious strategies for survival. (BARROS, 2002, p. 4) According Lerípio (2001, p. 2), the environment and development must cease to be confrontational to become a partnership relationship. The key point of the issue becomes the need for a peaceful coexistence between the quality of the environment and economic development.
What actions have been geared to protecting the environment is needed desvencilhar the mystery of consciousness and their ability to bring actions aware, committed and responsible for spreading solutions of problems and significant environmental improvements. You can not just plant trees in the gardens each year the week of the environment and to worship at that moment as if representing large effect on people and the environment. We must grow conscious attitudes in people, it is important to environmental awareness is no action to mitigate environmental impacts. The continuation of underdevelopment in environmental continuity is the act of playing the remains of food in the same brass in which recyclable materials or as forests are devastated areas equivalent to a big stadium every day, eliminating several endangered species of both flora as fauna, and authorities are not pressured to make this safeguard.
Understanding the basis of generating actions is very important to reach people aware so they can have their attitudes consistent with their way of thinking. Finding the factor for the actions has been a tool much more than just awareness. If awareness were large enough there would be concerns about the environmental issue, as is evident in the company to be established there, in various segments of multipliers of environmental awareness. Maybe the majority did not see the seriousness with which environmentalists have seen, hence the need for treatment of shock, or see the reality that hits on the emotionally and be done with nature and the like. Considering the importance of these aspects, this paper attempts to point out answers or solutions to the inertia of rest where people park conscious and not aware, to have the factor or factors instigators to a state of movement for activities beneficial to the environment, a inertia of movement of environmentally conscious heads.
If every person endowed with environmental awareness still lacks reason to act on the environmental issue is instigated in the right spot to develop attitudes that same individual to remedy environmental damage or prevent them, work is more than a contribution to environmental education, but yes, the trigger that fires every person other than his desire to make their way of life today, to more healthy attitudes from a particular, emotional, psychological, actor in major changes necessary for preservation and conservation of an integrated world of humans and nature as it always was, one thing only. To search for the guideline have research that points to a single direction desvencilhando of the nuances that may be involved in your real objective is therefore necessary to infer the problem question: Why do many people, although being environmentally aware, yet have no rational attitudes that are taking actions environmentally sound?
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