Saturday, May 14, 2011

The 7 Human emotions: The Secret to an extraordinary life

"Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it. If you don't like the way you're feeling, change the meaning." - Anthony Robbins
What are emotions? Emotions are nothing but feelings or a state of mind where your conscious focus generated a certain mental and physical state. The way we feel is arguably the most important aspect of life. No matter what we want whether it be more money, better relationships, more time or a better body, it all comes down to emotions. Huh? Yes! See it is not a better body or more money you are really after but rather the feelings you associate to having more money or a better body. Emotions form the core of our lives and more specifically the 7 human emotions that drive our behaviour.
All the emotions we experience are not only rooted in our own minds, but they are even "created" by us. Some people think that the emotions they experience are entirely out of their control and that emotions are spontaneous reactions to the events of our lives. If we are going to take control of our emotions, especially the 7 human emotions, then we need to understand that avoiding, denying or ignoring emotions will harm you more than actually dealing with them.
There are those that believe that there are 7 human emotions that drive all human behaviour. In reality there are only two human emotions that drive us. These two emotions are Pain and Pleasure. Everything we do in our lives we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our need to gain pleasure. These two categories of emotions contain all of either the positive or the negative of the 7 human emotions. Jeremy Bentham said it best: "Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure...they govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it"
The positive spectrum of the 7 human emotions will drive us to pleasure and that is why we pursue them. The negative spectrum of the 7 human emotions will drive us towards pain and that is why we will do anything to avoid it. It is also important to notice that we will do more to avoid painful emotions than we will do to gain pleasurable emotions as this is instinctive to our nature as human beings.
The 7 human emotions of Pain are:
1. Fear
2. Hatred
3. Anger
4. Greed
5. Jealousy
6. Revenge
7. Superstition
These are the emotions we are all trying to avoid as the experience of them will inevitable be a painful emotion.
The 7 human emotions of pleasure are:
1. Love
2. Sex
3. Hope
4. Faith
5. Sympathy
6. Optimism
7. Loyalty
"The secret of success is learning to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that you are in control of your life. If you don't life controls you" - Anthony Robbins.
All emotions serve a purpose and a very important purpose as such. We all want to experience the positive side of the 7 human emotions and often we seek for it in the wrong places. Drugs, alcohol, smoking ex. are all devises we use to get out of pain and into pleasure. They are things we do to instantaneously suppress the negative emotions we may experience. The truth is that suppressing or ignoring an emotion will only amplify it until you deal with it. If we heed and utilize the signals that emotions give us we can change the quality of our lives and experience of life immediately.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

How To Become A Sexual Magnet Using Human Pheromone Products

What is the best pheromone product on the market? Is there one product that out strips the rest and guarantees you success with the opposite sex, or for that matter, the same sex?
Human pheromones have made an impact on today's society as their role in human behaviour is better understood. The pheromone product industry has grown rapidly as savvy marketers realise the potential to make money from a public audience looking for shortcuts to "nail" there next sexual conquest.
Can Pheromone Products Guarantee Sexual Success?
Those people buying human pheromone products thinking it's the answer to attracting a sexual mate should really understand the role this invisible chemical actually plays in human interaction. Will a dab of pheromone cologne guarantee you success in the sexual stakes? No it won't. Why? Because as it was put to me by a manufacturer recently, "somebody can give you the light switch but you still need to turn it on!"
Wearing a pheromone product is designed to instill an air of confidence in the "wearer." Don't think for a minute guys that by simply having it on and then walking into a night club is going to see you mobbed by dozens of ravenous women. Sure, you'll probably get noticed but the main action of the pheromone product is to help you "break the ice" and once you do, it's then up to you to continue to create an impression.
The Best Pheromone Product On The Market
So what is the best pheromone product on the market. Well I'm not too sure there is a best product but one of the safest ways in finding the best legitimate products are by concentrating on those companies who produce and manufacture their own oils, cologne and spray in house. Why? By producing their own products, they've obviously spent crucial time and money in testing what works and what doesn't work with the end creation a result of this research. And you can bet they won't be resting on their laurels as they continually refine and test different combinations.
Does Price Matter?
Products come in a variety of forms including cologne, spray, oils and enhancers. One thing that continually amazes me is the price differences between the various products. Is a pheromone cologne worth $30 less effective than a cologne being promoted at over a hundred dollars? This is often the problem facing many prospective consumers.
More is not always best and by following the earlier strategy of sticking with those in-house produced products, your pheromone experience should generally be a happy one. Also, look for companies who provide on-going support; they may have a newsletter you can sign up for. It's a sure sign that they are in it for the long haul and not just a fly-by-nighter. You'll also find that they are loyal to their regular customers providing deals such as two-for-one or buy a bottle of this cologne and receive a complimentary dab brush.
Remember, the best pheromone product won't get you "mauled" by the opposite sex but it can help you get off the "batting plate." Then it's up to you to negotiate your way around the diamond.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Human Pheromones - Fact or Hype?

Deciphering the question of what effect pheromones have on human behaviour is a little like watching the battle between pro and non UFO believers. Do they really exist? For the last three decades, despite the research and studies conducted on whether we as humans attract by pheromone, there is still nothing "set in stone" about whether they are real or just a lot of marketing hype.
Do Pheromones Really Work?
The debate between pro pheromone advocates and non believers continues. The problem is, there is no official evidence they actually play a part in human behaviour. Certainly research has pointed to evidence suggesting they may be evident in our day-to-day behaviour but until somebody comes out and produces concrete, unrefutable evidence they exist in humans, then we can only surmise they exist.
Examples of studies include such things as human pheromones being linked to the reproductive system in men an women. Also, they've been associated with the relationship between a mother and child. Who doesn't have an attachment to their mother in an instinctive way? Is this pheromones at play?
Did You Know?
Animal pheromones were well understood more than three decades ago. In fact, pheromones were used by manufacturers as pest control to lessen the incidence of damage on crops in horticultural areas.
Pheromone Studies
Studies suggest human pheromones not only exist but they are gender targeted. What does this mean? Basically it means they affect heterosexuals and homosexuals individually. So heterosexual to heterosexual and homosexual to homosexual.
Dr. Winifred Cutler was the first to suggest pheromones could be marketable as a perfume or spray. Her findings made people sit up and take notice during the 1980's and what followed was the beginning of the pheromone enhanced product. She produced some interesting findings including the ability of the male pheromone to have an effect on the well being of women. Dr. Cutler heads up the Athena Institute and visiting the website makes for some interesting reading.
Despite the research being conducted the fact remains, there are still skeptics out there who are yet to be convinced about the validity about pheromones having an effect on human behaviour.
Pheromones Instill An Air Of Confidence?
There has been a school of thought surrounding the air of confidence brought on by wearing a pheromone product. Quite simply, some are suggesting that by simply knowing you are wearing the stuff, this inner confidence can equate to an outward confidence thus making a person more attractive to be around. To me, that makes sense. Wouldn't you rather be around someone confident as opposed to someone "down in the mouth?"
Another school of thought surrounds the business and work environment. Pheromones have been suggested as a possible "weapon" for business and sales people to help their work endeavours. With the sales area in particular being a very competitive environment, wearing a pheromone product could help a salesperson gain a little more confidence in himself and then making them more attractive to the buyer. What do you think? Do sales people need any more confidence than they already have?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Understanding What Directs Human Behaviour - How To Cure Pee Shyness

Every decision we make, or action we take, is ultimately the result of the twin forces; pleasure and pain. Now forgive me if this sounds a little simplistic, but give me an opportunity and I will explain how this is so.
Let's take a Paruresis related example. "John" enters a public toilet. He looks at the set of urinals and wishes he could simply stroll up to them and do his business. However, he also notices that there are several other guys in the toilet, there are no dividers between the urinals, and there's a strong possibility that he won't be able to go. He then looks over to the stalls; they have locks on the doors, they give him complete privacy, and he's confident he'll be able to use them. "John" decides the stalls are the better option for him.
Now, when "John" was assessing the urinals the following things went through his head:
"Other guys may notice I'm was unable to go, therefore causing me embarrassment."
"The toilet is fairly busy so I know I'd struggle to go, therefore evoking anxiety."
"There are no urinal dividers, therefore there's no privacy."
"I really need the toilet and if I froze up, the next opportunity to pee wouldn't be for some time, therefore causing uncertainty and discomfort."
Would it not be fair to say that the feelings of embarrassment, anxiousness, lack of privacy, uncertainty and discomfort all cause emotional pain? If you're embarrassed, that isn't a pleasurable feeling; it's a painful one. In essence, pain is the umbrella term for all our negative emotions.
Now, when "John" was assessing whether he should use the stalls, the following things went through his head:
"The door will be locked, therefore I can completely relax and do my business."
"I don't have to worry about anyone seeing if I struggle to go, giving me peace of mind."
"I'm in the privacy of my own stall."
"I'm completely confident I'll be able to go, therefore freeing me up as soon as I leave. No worrying about finding another toilet, or making up excuses to the people I'm with."
Obviously, the feelings of relaxation, peace of mind, total privacy and confidence are pleasurable ones. Therefore, the umbrella term for all our positive emotions is pleasure.
So why did "John" choose the stalls over the urinals? Simple! It is inherent in our human nature to pursue pleasure and avoid pain; it's our survival mechanism.
Now the example I've described doesn't tell the full picture, it's a snapshot of "John's" emotional state at one moment in time. In truth, "John" has suffered from Paruresis for years and years. He desperately wants to overcome it, it's ruining his life. He's even read my article on 'Systematic Desensitization' and is listening to my Hypnotherapy course day-in, day-out. (If you're unsure of what Systematic Desensitization is, it's a method of gradually exposing oneself to your phobia, so it becomes less scary).
So, if "John's" ultimate pleasure would be to cure his Paruresis, and his ultimate pain is to continue letting it cripple his life, why when we walked into the toilet, did he opt for the stalls?... (Even with the method mentioned above and the hypnotherapy?)
Answer: Because whatever is most real to you in that snapshot in time will determine your actions. "John" wasn't focusing on the pain of continuing to live with Paruresis, he was focusing on the pain of the potential embarrassment, anxiousness and discomfort of the moment.
If he focused on the pain that his Paruresis causes him every single day, or the pleasure he'd get from being able to use a urinal in any scenario, "John" would have walked straight up to that urinal and put what he'd learnt into action. Why? Because the notion of not attempting to overcome his condition is just too damn painful. He'd feel like a coward for not trying, he'd feel guilty, he'd feel like a failure; which ultimately means pain.
If you're serious about overcoming Paruresis, you need analyse your associations...
Do you link pleasure or pain to the thought of actively getting out there are practising in public?
Do you link pleasure or pain to the notion of telling a family member about your condition and asking them for help?
Do you link pleasure or pain to committing to listen to hypnotherapy sessions everyday?
Do you link pleasure or pain to the idea of joining a Paruresis support group?
Do you link pleasure or pain to applying the method of Systematic Desensitization?
If your answers to the above are 'pain' (which for the majority, this is quite likely), let me ask you two questions...
What will be the pain if you don't apply these solutions?
A lifetime of hidden embarrassment maybe...
The shame of your son asking you why you don't pee at the urinal like other men...
A chain of humiliating scenarios where you're so desperate to go, but you just can't...
And what will be the pleasure if you do apply these solutions?
The empowered feeling of taking action to cure yourself once and far all...
The satisfaction that practice is the mother of skill and you will get there...
The feeling that a burden has been lifted from your shoulders and you no longer have to live in secrecy...
The key is to change your associations. Remember: What's most real to you in the moment, determines your actions. If your associations facilitate your desire to overcome Paruresis, not hinder it, your actions will follow suit.
Use pleasure and pain, instead of pleasure and pain using you.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Reducing Masturbation can make You Healthier

Masturbation is something that comes naturally to boys when they reach a certain age. It doesn’t require any teaching; it is usually a naturally learnt activity. And in some cases, it could continue well into adulthood, and may persist throughout the lifetime of the male. It is so popular among boys because it provides them a very convenient respite to their sexual frustration; it is not associated with the social and the hygienic risks of acquiring a partner. Moreover, it is a secret activity; no one need know how active the person actually is in his own bathroom.

Doctors and medical journals have indeed advocated it for a long time now, though the parents have been dissuading their children from doing so. Parents are more concerned of the social ridicule that goes with a masturbator rather than the health of their children. But now, the health aspects of masturbation have also come to the fore. So, parents must now stop their children from it not just because it is an offending act, but also because it may actually spoil the health of their children in future.

Statistics have shown that at least 87% of all women and 95% of all men have tried it some time or the other in their lives. It is so common a phenomenon that people tend to ignore its health implications. However, in people who masturbate too much in excess, there are bound to be some serious problems in the future. These problems are not confined to the penis and the reproductive system, but they also extend to the brain and the nervous system.

Let us first try to understand the chemistry behind it. When you do it, the brain arouses the sexual organ. This is done by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic system triggers the nerve endings of the reproductive organ, which makes it responsive to touch. This sort of communication between the nerves of the penis takes place by the chemical known as acetylcholine. Hence, OM can cause over-stimulation of the acetylcholine, which will in turn over-stimulate the peripheral nervous system.

The liver comes into the picture too. One of the functions of the liver is to secrete chemical transmitters to allow the functioning of the nervous system. These chemicals are known as the neurotransmitters. The liver secretes neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, along with acetylcholine. Now, it is common sense that if the liver over-secretes these neurotransmitters, then it will not be able to perform its main function, which is to release enzymes to aid in several tasks of the body, including digestion of food and hormone production. The brain and adrenal glands also secrete excessive hormones and neurotransmitters during this act, such as epinephrine, norepinephrine and dopamine.

If you masturbate once in a while, this chemical discharge returns back to its normal state after a few minutes of achieving orgasm. However, it is the OM that causes the problems. When there is such a surcharge of hormone and chemical production in the body, there are bound to be problems. The parasympathetic nervous system will not be able to return to its normal state after it has been continuously stimulated with so many chemicals, and the result is that there could be permanent damage. The hormones that are so abundantly and repeatedly secreted will also not be able to reach back to their normal levels.

Naturally, when the parasympathetic nervous system gets impaired, it will not be normally able to arouse the penis any further. Or, at least there will be some kind of impairment. The most common thing that can happen is impotence. Impotence is very common in older men, and that could be due to other medical conditions. But an impotence that occurs in younger men can usually be ascribed to their habit of OM.

And impotence is not all. Continuous triggering of the biology that governs the sexual system can have more long-lasting effects. There could be a loss of libido, which could lead to non-performance of the man during the act. Men could suffer from premature ejaculation. Excessive jerking action of the penis could also damage some of its tissues, which could lead to disfigurement and even shrinkage. In some people, the parasympathetic nervous system could be so impaired that it could lead to arousals at the wrong time, leading to embarrassing erections in public, or also a continuous seminal discharge.

While these things happen with the reproductive system itself, there could be impairments in the functioning of the brain also. The brain may get impaired due to releasing chemicals so frequently and may not function normally. Brain damage will be evident if the masturbator has lack of concentration, loss of memory, sleeplessness, etc. which are very commonly observed conditions in boys who have just begun masturbating.

It may be good, but excessive masturbation is definitely not. Experts prescribe two to three times in a day to be within safe bounds, but anything more than that is dangerous to the overall health of the system.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

How Human Behaviour Shapes Successful Business Strategies

People are fundamentally sheep - isn’t that what we’re always told? Sure, everyone likes to think that they are an individual and that they make individual decisions about what they do and how they choose to act, but the reality is that most of what we do is heavily influenced by the behaviour of others.

This is human behaviour, which is herd-like. As social creatures, what we do or don’t do is often based on what others are doing or not doing. People don’t really think about their actions. In fact, Mark Earls, a leading human behaviour and strategy expert, would argue that very often thinking comes after the fact - people act and process it later. He would also say that there’s not much point in asking people why they do what they do, because they don’t actually know.

Now, the trick is to harness the power of human behaviour to create successful business strategies and to build powerful brands. If you consider the power of crowd mentality in your strategies (which perhaps goes a little against conventional wisdom about how people make choices) you are virtually guaranteed to have a strategy that will succeed. Why? Simply because you will be able to develop strategies that work by understanding peoples’ behaviour. You will understand how new ideas really catch on and are disseminated, and how to create momentum and longevity behind your strategic objectives - whatever these may be.

Considering people are the number one resource in business today, it’s surprising how little we consider the true nature of human beings within the scope of business strategy. A century ago, the main resource of a business was capital which bought the things a business needed to thrive such as land, materials, transport and so forth. Today though, up to 85% of the economy in developed countries is based on human interaction at a variety of levels.

This is why it’s important to understand human behaviour and to shape strategy around it - because people (staff, customers, suppliers and distributers etc) are an essential resource in today’s business world.

Mark Earls challenges strategists to really think about things. In an eBook entitled Understanding How Behaviour Shapes Strategy, he discusses his thinking on the subject of people and strategy. Thing is, our misconceptions about human behaviour and why people do things is what fundamentally undermines most strategies. A different view of people may just change the rules for forward-thinking businesses.

Earls contends that while Marketing attempts to shape mass behaviour, its attempts are poor. This is shown by the fact that most new products fail within the first year, and the ones that survive struggle to make any long-lasting or substantial impact on the consumers’ behaviour. He goes on to say that the reason for this is perhaps that our interpretation of what causes human behaviour and how to shape it is wrong.

Earls says there are two views that are fundamentally flawed in our understanding of what shapes behaviour. Firstly, we think that to change behaviour we need to change minds when in fact the opposite is true. The second mistake we make is thinking that ideas and behaviour spread through “the corridors of influence”, through ‘The Few’ when in fact it is ‘The Many’ that really make the difference.

When you consider the relationship between attitudes and behaviour, how new ideas and habits get formed and how to create the momentum that creates real and lasting change you will find that the best strategies take human behaviour into account. Strategies in fact only work if they change human behaviour. Whether you are dealing with staff, customers, investors or others, you first have to understand how people work and how new ideas catch on to appreciate what makes for successful business strategies.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

20 GOOD THINGS MEN SHOULD ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

There are approximately twenty things that all men should know about love, sex, dating and marriage.

1. Persistence is Flattering… Then it becomes annoying, and finally, downright creepy. Men don’t like to be considered quitters, but sometimes we’ve got no other option.

2. Women’s Lib Does Not Include Going Dutch. Most women still appreciate a guy to pick up the check. If she insists on paying half, let her, otherwise you’ll risk appearing inflexible, chauvinistic, and disagreeable.

3. Women Love a Man Who Talks About His Family. It means he is close to them and cares about them, and even more importantly, it means he might one day be into having one of his own. But don’t take this as an invitation to be a mama’s boy!

4. Women Love a Man With a Plan… One who is not afraid to hold a baby, and one who can pull off wearing a clean white t-shirt.

5. Don’t Push Her Off of the Porn Train. Some women don’t like pornography, some do, and some feel left out (cheated on) because he hides it from her like some sort of dirty secret. Sometimes sharing is the best policy.

6. If She Cuts the Night Short… She might really need to cut something else. Men and women are both human after all, so if she calls the night short, don’t just assume she doesn’t want you to call again. Sometimes emergencies do come up.

7. Women Don’t Want Us to Solve All Their Problems… Sometimes they just want us to listen, repeat and understand!

8. If She Cheats, You Deserved It (In Her Mind). Cheating is shaky ground for any relationship, but research shows that women who cheat do so as a direct result of feeling unloved, unappreciated and entitled to happiness. Now you know, and now you know how to do something about it.

9. Squeezing Her Breasts is Not Foreplay. Most women prefer a touch and gentle caress.

10. Women Have Hair in Strange Places. If your girl doesn’t have any of the signs of being a disciple of Bigfoot, appreciate the time she has spent to get rid of it.

11. She Knows You’re Lying. Women have the uncanny ability to read people, according to some research, which comes from the motherly necessity to read her baby’s needs by looking at facial expressions and vocal patterns. Women know when we’re lying, so why bother?

12. When She is Feeling Down and Irritable… Give her a big hug, rather than busting her hump for being grumpy. This is an instant invitation to her good side (assuming you didn’t cause the bad feelings in the first place).

13. Thank You Goes a Long Way. Studies suggest that in lopsided relationships, the overworked partner will remain satisfied as long as the other partner remembers to say “Thank you.” This isn’t about telling you how to take advantage of her, but rather about appreciating her for everything she does.

14. Women Still Like… Being asked on a proper date. Don’t get lazy in today’s age of information technology. Sometimes the best way to do things is the old fashioned way!

15. A Woman’s Breasts Swell Up to 25% During Good Sex. This is her body’s way of seducing/attracting/urging the man to finish with a finale… so don’t disappoint her. Interestingly, some research also suggests the smaller the breasts, the more dramatic the size increase will be.

16. Don’t Mention PMS… Unless asking to buy her pads at the store. Don’t use her biology to explain her bad mood. This is just simple common courtesy.

17. Women Prefer Macho to Date and Sensitive to Marry. Men can actually dictate the types of women they attract by how much they express their masculine side vs. their sensitive. Who knew that dodging commitment could be so easy!

18. Women Like Spontaneity. Whisking her away on a weekend trip on short notice is spontaneous. Showing up fifteen minutes late and asking “So, what do you want to do now?” is not!

19. She is Less Excited About Receiving Lingerie Than You Are About Giving It. They say that women love shiny things, but when it comes to glimmering showgirl costumes, not all are as excited to climb aboard your fantasy train.

20. Cleaning and Doing the Dishes… Is one of the sexiest things you can do to get her in the mood. Try it. I swear, I’m not being paid to tell you this stuff!

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