The 7 Human emotions: The Secret to an extraordinary life

"Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it. If you don't like the way you're feeling, change the meaning." - Anthony Robbins
What are emotions? Emotions are nothing but feelings or a state of mind where your conscious focus generated a certain mental and physical state. The way we feel is arguably the most important aspect of life. No matter what we want whether it be more money, better relationships, more time or a better body, it all comes down to emotions. Huh? Yes! See it is not a better body or more money you are really after but rather the feelings you associate to having more money or a better body. Emotions form the core of our lives and more specifically the 7 human emotions that drive our behaviour.
All the emotions we experience are not only rooted in our own minds, but they are even "created" by us. Some people think that the emotions they experience are entirely out of their control and that emotions are spontaneous reactions to the events of our lives. If we are going to take control of our emotions, especially the 7 human emotions, then we need to understand that avoiding, denying or ignoring emotions will harm you more than actually dealing with them.
There are those that believe that there are 7 human emotions that drive all human behaviour. In reality there are only two human emotions that drive us. These two emotions are Pain and Pleasure. Everything we do in our lives we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our need to gain pleasure. These two categories of emotions contain all of either the positive or the negative of the 7 human emotions. Jeremy Bentham said it best: "Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure...they govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it"
The positive spectrum of the 7 human emotions will drive us to pleasure and that is why we pursue them. The negative spectrum of the 7 human emotions will drive us towards pain and that is why we will do anything to avoid it. It is also important to notice that we will do more to avoid painful emotions than we will do to gain pleasurable emotions as this is instinctive to our nature as human beings.
The 7 human emotions of Pain are:
1. Fear
2. Hatred
3. Anger
4. Greed
5. Jealousy
6. Revenge
7. Superstition
These are the emotions we are all trying to avoid as the experience of them will inevitable be a painful emotion.
The 7 human emotions of pleasure are:
1. Love
2. Sex
3. Hope
4. Faith
5. Sympathy
6. Optimism
7. Loyalty
"The secret of success is learning to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that you are in control of your life. If you don't life controls you" - Anthony Robbins.
All emotions serve a purpose and a very important purpose as such. We all want to experience the positive side of the 7 human emotions and often we seek for it in the wrong places. Drugs, alcohol, smoking ex. are all devises we use to get out of pain and into pleasure. They are things we do to instantaneously suppress the negative emotions we may experience. The truth is that suppressing or ignoring an emotion will only amplify it until you deal with it. If we heed and utilize the signals that emotions give us we can change the quality of our lives and experience of life immediately.

How To Become A Sexual Magnet Using Human Pheromone Products

What is the best pheromone product on the market? Is there one product that out strips the rest and guarantees you success with the opposite sex, or for that matter, the same sex?
Human pheromones have made an impact on today's society as their role in human behaviour is better understood. The pheromone product industry has grown rapidly as savvy marketers realise the potential to make money from a public audience looking for shortcuts to "nail" there next sexual conquest.
Can Pheromone Products Guarantee Sexual Success?
Those people buying human pheromone products thinking it's the answer to attracting a sexual mate should really understand the role this invisible chemical actually plays in human interaction. Will a dab of pheromone cologne guarantee you success in the sexual stakes? No it won't. Why? Because as it was put to me by a manufacturer recently, "somebody can give you the light switch but you still need to turn it on!"
Wearing a pheromone product is designed to instill an air of confidence in the "wearer." Don't think for a minute guys that by simply having it on and then walking into a night club is going to see you mobbed by dozens of ravenous women. Sure, you'll probably get noticed but the main action of the pheromone product is to help you "break the ice" and once you do, it's then up to you to continue to create an impression.
The Best Pheromone Product On The Market
So what is the best pheromone product on the market. Well I'm not too sure there is a best product but one of the safest ways in finding the best legitimate products are by concentrating on those companies who produce and manufacture their own oils, cologne and spray in house. Why? By producing their own products, they've obviously spent crucial time and money in testing what works and what doesn't work with the end creation a result of this research. And you can bet they won't be resting on their laurels as they continually refine and test different combinations.
Does Price Matter?
Products come in a variety of forms including cologne, spray, oils and enhancers. One thing that continually amazes me is the price differences between the various products. Is a pheromone cologne worth $30 less effective than a cologne being promoted at over a hundred dollars? This is often the problem facing many prospective consumers.
More is not always best and by following the earlier strategy of sticking with those in-house produced products, your pheromone experience should generally be a happy one. Also, look for companies who provide on-going support; they may have a newsletter you can sign up for. It's a sure sign that they are in it for the long haul and not just a fly-by-nighter. You'll also find that they are loyal to their regular customers providing deals such as two-for-one or buy a bottle of this cologne and receive a complimentary dab brush.
Remember, the best pheromone product won't get you "mauled" by the opposite sex but it can help you get off the "batting plate." Then it's up to you to negotiate your way around the diamond.

Human Pheromones - Fact or Hype?

Deciphering the question of what effect pheromones have on human behaviour is a little like watching the battle between pro and non UFO believers. Do they really exist? For the last three decades, despite the research and studies conducted on whether we as humans attract by pheromone, there is still nothing "set in stone" about whether they are real or just a lot of marketing hype.
Do Pheromones Really Work?
The debate between pro pheromone advocates and non believers continues. The problem is, there is no official evidence they actually play a part in human behaviour. Certainly research has pointed to evidence suggesting they may be evident in our day-to-day behaviour but until somebody comes out and produces concrete, unrefutable evidence they exist in humans, then we can only surmise they exist.
Examples of studies include such things as human pheromones being linked to the reproductive system in men an women. Also, they've been associated with the relationship between a mother and child. Who doesn't have an attachment to their mother in an instinctive way? Is this pheromones at play?
Did You Know?
Animal pheromones were well understood more than three decades ago. In fact, pheromones were used by manufacturers as pest control to lessen the incidence of damage on crops in horticultural areas.
Pheromone Studies
Studies suggest human pheromones not only exist but they are gender targeted. What does this mean? Basically it means they affect heterosexuals and homosexuals individually. So heterosexual to heterosexual and homosexual to homosexual.
Dr. Winifred Cutler was the first to suggest pheromones could be marketable as a perfume or spray. Her findings made people sit up and take notice during the 1980's and what followed was the beginning of the pheromone enhanced product. She produced some interesting findings including the ability of the male pheromone to have an effect on the well being of women. Dr. Cutler heads up the Athena Institute and visiting the website makes for some interesting reading.
Despite the research being conducted the fact remains, there are still skeptics out there who are yet to be convinced about the validity about pheromones having an effect on human behaviour.
Pheromones Instill An Air Of Confidence?
There has been a school of thought surrounding the air of confidence brought on by wearing a pheromone product. Quite simply, some are suggesting that by simply knowing you are wearing the stuff, this inner confidence can equate to an outward confidence thus making a person more attractive to be around. To me, that makes sense. Wouldn't you rather be around someone confident as opposed to someone "down in the mouth?"
Another school of thought surrounds the business and work environment. Pheromones have been suggested as a possible "weapon" for business and sales people to help their work endeavours. With the sales area in particular being a very competitive environment, wearing a pheromone product could help a salesperson gain a little more confidence in himself and then making them more attractive to the buyer. What do you think? Do sales people need any more confidence than they already have?

Understanding What Directs Human Behaviour - How To Cure Pee Shyness

Every decision we make, or action we take, is ultimately the result of the twin forces; pleasure and pain. Now forgive me if this sounds a little simplistic, but give me an opportunity and I will explain how this is so.
Let's take a Paruresis related example. "John" enters a public toilet. He looks at the set of urinals and wishes he could simply stroll up to them and do his business. However, he also notices that there are several other guys in the toilet, there are no dividers between the urinals, and there's a strong possibility that he won't be able to go. He then looks over to the stalls; they have locks on the doors, they give him complete privacy, and he's confident he'll be able to use them. "John" decides the stalls are the better option for him.
Now, when "John" was assessing the urinals the following things went through his head:
"Other guys may notice I'm was unable to go, therefore causing me embarrassment."
"The toilet is fairly busy so I know I'd struggle to go, therefore evoking anxiety."
"There are no urinal dividers, therefore there's no privacy."
"I really need the toilet and if I froze up, the next opportunity to pee wouldn't be for some time, therefore causing uncertainty and discomfort."
Would it not be fair to say that the feelings of embarrassment, anxiousness, lack of privacy, uncertainty and discomfort all cause emotional pain? If you're embarrassed, that isn't a pleasurable feeling; it's a painful one. In essence, pain is the umbrella term for all our negative emotions.
Now, when "John" was assessing whether he should use the stalls, the following things went through his head:
"The door will be locked, therefore I can completely relax and do my business."
"I don't have to worry about anyone seeing if I struggle to go, giving me peace of mind."
"I'm in the privacy of my own stall."
"I'm completely confident I'll be able to go, therefore freeing me up as soon as I leave. No worrying about finding another toilet, or making up excuses to the people I'm with."
Obviously, the feelings of relaxation, peace of mind, total privacy and confidence are pleasurable ones. Therefore, the umbrella term for all our positive emotions is pleasure.
So why did "John" choose the stalls over the urinals? Simple! It is inherent in our human nature to pursue pleasure and avoid pain; it's our survival mechanism.
Now the example I've described doesn't tell the full picture, it's a snapshot of "John's" emotional state at one moment in time. In truth, "John" has suffered from Paruresis for years and years. He desperately wants to overcome it, it's ruining his life. He's even read my article on 'Systematic Desensitization' and is listening to my Hypnotherapy course day-in, day-out. (If you're unsure of what Systematic Desensitization is, it's a method of gradually exposing oneself to your phobia, so it becomes less scary).
So, if "John's" ultimate pleasure would be to cure his Paruresis, and his ultimate pain is to continue letting it cripple his life, why when we walked into the toilet, did he opt for the stalls?... (Even with the method mentioned above and the hypnotherapy?)
Answer: Because whatever is most real to you in that snapshot in time will determine your actions. "John" wasn't focusing on the pain of continuing to live with Paruresis, he was focusing on the pain of the potential embarrassment, anxiousness and discomfort of the moment.
If he focused on the pain that his Paruresis causes him every single day, or the pleasure he'd get from being able to use a urinal in any scenario, "John" would have walked straight up to that urinal and put what he'd learnt into action. Why? Because the notion of not attempting to overcome his condition is just too damn painful. He'd feel like a coward for not trying, he'd feel guilty, he'd feel like a failure; which ultimately means pain.
If you're serious about overcoming Paruresis, you need analyse your associations...
Do you link pleasure or pain to the thought of actively getting out there are practising in public?
Do you link pleasure or pain to the notion of telling a family member about your condition and asking them for help?
Do you link pleasure or pain to committing to listen to hypnotherapy sessions everyday?
Do you link pleasure or pain to the idea of joining a Paruresis support group?
Do you link pleasure or pain to applying the method of Systematic Desensitization?
If your answers to the above are 'pain' (which for the majority, this is quite likely), let me ask you two questions...
What will be the pain if you don't apply these solutions?
A lifetime of hidden embarrassment maybe...
The shame of your son asking you why you don't pee at the urinal like other men...
A chain of humiliating scenarios where you're so desperate to go, but you just can't...
And what will be the pleasure if you do apply these solutions?
The empowered feeling of taking action to cure yourself once and far all...
The satisfaction that practice is the mother of skill and you will get there...
The feeling that a burden has been lifted from your shoulders and you no longer have to live in secrecy...
The key is to change your associations. Remember: What's most real to you in the moment, determines your actions. If your associations facilitate your desire to overcome Paruresis, not hinder it, your actions will follow suit.
Use pleasure and pain, instead of pleasure and pain using you.

Reducing Masturbation can make You Healthier

Masturbation is something that comes naturally to boys when they reach a certain age. It doesn’t require any teaching; it is usually a naturally learnt activity. And in some cases, it could continue well into adulthood, and may persist throughout the lifetime of the male. It is so popular among boys because it provides them a very convenient respite to their sexual frustration; it is not associated with the social and the hygienic risks of acquiring a partner. Moreover, it is a secret activity; no one need know how active the person actually is in his own bathroom.

Doctors and medical journals have indeed advocated it for a long time now, though the parents have been dissuading their children from doing so. Parents are more concerned of the social ridicule that goes with a masturbator rather than the health of their children. But now, the health aspects of masturbation have also come to the fore. So, parents must now stop their children from it not just because it is an offending act, but also because it may actually spoil the health of their children in future.

Statistics have shown that at least 87% of all women and 95% of all men have tried it some time or the other in their lives. It is so common a phenomenon that people tend to ignore its health implications. However, in people who masturbate too much in excess, there are bound to be some serious problems in the future. These problems are not confined to the penis and the reproductive system, but they also extend to the brain and the nervous system.

Let us first try to understand the chemistry behind it. When you do it, the brain arouses the sexual organ. This is done by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic system triggers the nerve endings of the reproductive organ, which makes it responsive to touch. This sort of communication between the nerves of the penis takes place by the chemical known as acetylcholine. Hence, OM can cause over-stimulation of the acetylcholine, which will in turn over-stimulate the peripheral nervous system.

The liver comes into the picture too. One of the functions of the liver is to secrete chemical transmitters to allow the functioning of the nervous system. These chemicals are known as the neurotransmitters. The liver secretes neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, along with acetylcholine. Now, it is common sense that if the liver over-secretes these neurotransmitters, then it will not be able to perform its main function, which is to release enzymes to aid in several tasks of the body, including digestion of food and hormone production. The brain and adrenal glands also secrete excessive hormones and neurotransmitters during this act, such as epinephrine, norepinephrine and dopamine.

If you masturbate once in a while, this chemical discharge returns back to its normal state after a few minutes of achieving orgasm. However, it is the OM that causes the problems. When there is such a surcharge of hormone and chemical production in the body, there are bound to be problems. The parasympathetic nervous system will not be able to return to its normal state after it has been continuously stimulated with so many chemicals, and the result is that there could be permanent damage. The hormones that are so abundantly and repeatedly secreted will also not be able to reach back to their normal levels.

Naturally, when the parasympathetic nervous system gets impaired, it will not be normally able to arouse the penis any further. Or, at least there will be some kind of impairment. The most common thing that can happen is impotence. Impotence is very common in older men, and that could be due to other medical conditions. But an impotence that occurs in younger men can usually be ascribed to their habit of OM.

And impotence is not all. Continuous triggering of the biology that governs the sexual system can have more long-lasting effects. There could be a loss of libido, which could lead to non-performance of the man during the act. Men could suffer from premature ejaculation. Excessive jerking action of the penis could also damage some of its tissues, which could lead to disfigurement and even shrinkage. In some people, the parasympathetic nervous system could be so impaired that it could lead to arousals at the wrong time, leading to embarrassing erections in public, or also a continuous seminal discharge.

While these things happen with the reproductive system itself, there could be impairments in the functioning of the brain also. The brain may get impaired due to releasing chemicals so frequently and may not function normally. Brain damage will be evident if the masturbator has lack of concentration, loss of memory, sleeplessness, etc. which are very commonly observed conditions in boys who have just begun masturbating.

It may be good, but excessive masturbation is definitely not. Experts prescribe two to three times in a day to be within safe bounds, but anything more than that is dangerous to the overall health of the system.

How Human Behaviour Shapes Successful Business Strategies

People are fundamentally sheep - isn’t that what we’re always told? Sure, everyone likes to think that they are an individual and that they make individual decisions about what they do and how they choose to act, but the reality is that most of what we do is heavily influenced by the behaviour of others.

This is human behaviour, which is herd-like. As social creatures, what we do or don’t do is often based on what others are doing or not doing. People don’t really think about their actions. In fact, Mark Earls, a leading human behaviour and strategy expert, would argue that very often thinking comes after the fact - people act and process it later. He would also say that there’s not much point in asking people why they do what they do, because they don’t actually know.

Now, the trick is to harness the power of human behaviour to create successful business strategies and to build powerful brands. If you consider the power of crowd mentality in your strategies (which perhaps goes a little against conventional wisdom about how people make choices) you are virtually guaranteed to have a strategy that will succeed. Why? Simply because you will be able to develop strategies that work by understanding peoples’ behaviour. You will understand how new ideas really catch on and are disseminated, and how to create momentum and longevity behind your strategic objectives - whatever these may be.

Considering people are the number one resource in business today, it’s surprising how little we consider the true nature of human beings within the scope of business strategy. A century ago, the main resource of a business was capital which bought the things a business needed to thrive such as land, materials, transport and so forth. Today though, up to 85% of the economy in developed countries is based on human interaction at a variety of levels.

This is why it’s important to understand human behaviour and to shape strategy around it - because people (staff, customers, suppliers and distributers etc) are an essential resource in today’s business world.

Mark Earls challenges strategists to really think about things. In an eBook entitled Understanding How Behaviour Shapes Strategy, he discusses his thinking on the subject of people and strategy. Thing is, our misconceptions about human behaviour and why people do things is what fundamentally undermines most strategies. A different view of people may just change the rules for forward-thinking businesses.

Earls contends that while Marketing attempts to shape mass behaviour, its attempts are poor. This is shown by the fact that most new products fail within the first year, and the ones that survive struggle to make any long-lasting or substantial impact on the consumers’ behaviour. He goes on to say that the reason for this is perhaps that our interpretation of what causes human behaviour and how to shape it is wrong.

Earls says there are two views that are fundamentally flawed in our understanding of what shapes behaviour. Firstly, we think that to change behaviour we need to change minds when in fact the opposite is true. The second mistake we make is thinking that ideas and behaviour spread through “the corridors of influence”, through ‘The Few’ when in fact it is ‘The Many’ that really make the difference.

When you consider the relationship between attitudes and behaviour, how new ideas and habits get formed and how to create the momentum that creates real and lasting change you will find that the best strategies take human behaviour into account. Strategies in fact only work if they change human behaviour. Whether you are dealing with staff, customers, investors or others, you first have to understand how people work and how new ideas catch on to appreciate what makes for successful business strategies.

20 GOOD THINGS MEN SHOULD ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

There are approximately twenty things that all men should know about love, sex, dating and marriage.

1. Persistence is Flattering… Then it becomes annoying, and finally, downright creepy. Men don’t like to be considered quitters, but sometimes we’ve got no other option.

2. Women’s Lib Does Not Include Going Dutch. Most women still appreciate a guy to pick up the check. If she insists on paying half, let her, otherwise you’ll risk appearing inflexible, chauvinistic, and disagreeable.

3. Women Love a Man Who Talks About His Family. It means he is close to them and cares about them, and even more importantly, it means he might one day be into having one of his own. But don’t take this as an invitation to be a mama’s boy!

4. Women Love a Man With a Plan… One who is not afraid to hold a baby, and one who can pull off wearing a clean white t-shirt.

5. Don’t Push Her Off of the Porn Train. Some women don’t like pornography, some do, and some feel left out (cheated on) because he hides it from her like some sort of dirty secret. Sometimes sharing is the best policy.

6. If She Cuts the Night Short… She might really need to cut something else. Men and women are both human after all, so if she calls the night short, don’t just assume she doesn’t want you to call again. Sometimes emergencies do come up.

7. Women Don’t Want Us to Solve All Their Problems… Sometimes they just want us to listen, repeat and understand!

8. If She Cheats, You Deserved It (In Her Mind). Cheating is shaky ground for any relationship, but research shows that women who cheat do so as a direct result of feeling unloved, unappreciated and entitled to happiness. Now you know, and now you know how to do something about it.

9. Squeezing Her Breasts is Not Foreplay. Most women prefer a touch and gentle caress.

10. Women Have Hair in Strange Places. If your girl doesn’t have any of the signs of being a disciple of Bigfoot, appreciate the time she has spent to get rid of it.

11. She Knows You’re Lying. Women have the uncanny ability to read people, according to some research, which comes from the motherly necessity to read her baby’s needs by looking at facial expressions and vocal patterns. Women know when we’re lying, so why bother?

12. When She is Feeling Down and Irritable… Give her a big hug, rather than busting her hump for being grumpy. This is an instant invitation to her good side (assuming you didn’t cause the bad feelings in the first place).

13. Thank You Goes a Long Way. Studies suggest that in lopsided relationships, the overworked partner will remain satisfied as long as the other partner remembers to say “Thank you.” This isn’t about telling you how to take advantage of her, but rather about appreciating her for everything she does.

14. Women Still Like… Being asked on a proper date. Don’t get lazy in today’s age of information technology. Sometimes the best way to do things is the old fashioned way!

15. A Woman’s Breasts Swell Up to 25% During Good Sex. This is her body’s way of seducing/attracting/urging the man to finish with a finale… so don’t disappoint her. Interestingly, some research also suggests the smaller the breasts, the more dramatic the size increase will be.

16. Don’t Mention PMS… Unless asking to buy her pads at the store. Don’t use her biology to explain her bad mood. This is just simple common courtesy.

17. Women Prefer Macho to Date and Sensitive to Marry. Men can actually dictate the types of women they attract by how much they express their masculine side vs. their sensitive. Who knew that dodging commitment could be so easy!

18. Women Like Spontaneity. Whisking her away on a weekend trip on short notice is spontaneous. Showing up fifteen minutes late and asking “So, what do you want to do now?” is not!

19. She is Less Excited About Receiving Lingerie Than You Are About Giving It. They say that women love shiny things, but when it comes to glimmering showgirl costumes, not all are as excited to climb aboard your fantasy train.

20. Cleaning and Doing the Dishes… Is one of the sexiest things you can do to get her in the mood. Try it. I swear, I’m not being paid to tell you this stuff!

Can Any one Predict Human Behaviour?

Did you know there is a scale by which you can predict human behaviour, and what a person will do under certain given situations in life?
It was developed by L. Ron Hubbard and written about in his book Science of Survival, The Prediction of Human Behaviour.
Let me summarise it very briefly. Have you noticed that when a person is angry they are not that truthful? How much truth comes out of the mouth of an angry man? Very little. Well, anger is an emotional tone. So is antagonism, cheerfulness, grief, boredom and many more. These emotional tones range up from around body death to cheerful and even to exhilaration, and down again.
They go in order something like this: up from body death, to apathy, grief, fear, anger, hate, antagonism, boredom, conservatism, cheerfulness, enthusiasm, exhilaration, action and higher. There are some emotions in between these but the above are the major divisions of the emotional tone scale.
People down at the bottom of the scale, such as fear, grief, and so on, have less courage, less truthful behaviour, than someone higher in conservatism, cheerfulness, or exhilaration. A person in fear is more likely to lie for example. He is also more likely to get ill, care less about his partner and so on.
There is an entire chart of human prediction from these different emotional tones, and if you spot someone on one of these tones you can plot out that person's behaviour on things you have not even seen them experience yet. This can help you decide who would make a good spouse, who would look after and care for children, who takes greater responsibility and so on.
Here is an example of how this can be used. Say there is a couple. One partner is in the higher tone of cheerfulness and the other is in the lower tone of fear. The cheerful spouse will be loyal, have courage and likely have honour. But the lower spouse can be predicted to not be as truthful, be promiscuous, have less responsibility for the marriage and children. This marriage will be hell as the two will have different expectations.
Ideally a person would be best to seek a partner of a similar emotional tone.
These emotional tones are also on a scale with numbers, but the numbers are not that important here. I am just pointing out that people have emotional tones. The tone of the individual can also move up and down, and that does happen with life. But what is important here is the chronic tone, that tone which the person generally settles into.
Now, there is one last point and that is that someone can usually move a person up the tone scale by communicating with them in the same tone they are in or a tone above. That is, if someone is in grief, such as a child, and someone was to communicate to that child in grief or anger, but directing the communication away from the child, not at it, the child would likely improve. For example, if a child was snapped at by an animal and the parent held the child and got angry with the animal, the child would likely start to get better. The child would stop crying and maybe also be angry at the animal. And if the parent was next antagonistic at the animal, the child would again follow. Soon there would be boredom, conservatism, and finally cheerfulness. This is just a tip, try it. It does work.
However this is not necessarily going to move someone up who is stuck in a chronic lower level. But if you find yourself in such a lower tone, it is not all lost. You can always get hold of a copy of the above book, as it also gives you several ways to get up from lower chronic tones if you find yourself stuck in them.

Islam, Jihad, and Terrorism

"Islam" and other various Islamic terms and concepts are grossly misunderstood in the West. Muslims can hardly find anyone to blame but themselves because (a) they have failed to live by the Islamic tenants in our times, and (b) they have failed to promote understanding of Islam in the West through outreach projects. This brochure is a humble attempt to briefly explain the terms given in the title. The Institute of Islamic Information & Education (III&E) has published almost fifty brochures and several articles for promoting understanding of Islam among Muslims and non-Muslims equally. Please write to the III&E or visit their web site for more information.
Some of the Islamic Terms
Islam: means a commitment to live in peace through submission to the Will of God (Allah).
Muslim: is a person who makes a commitment to live in peace through servitude to Allah.
Jihad: means "struggle" and "strive" against evil thoughts, evil action and aggression against a person, family, society or country. Jihad may be a "justifiable war", borrowing the Christian term.
Mujahid: is a person who engages in Jihad for the sake of Allah according to the Quran (Muslim's source book for guidance) and Sunnah (the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Mujahidin is the plural of Mujahid.
"Islamic terrorism": There is no such phrase or term in the Islamic source books of the Quran or the Sunnah and has no place in Islam.
Sunnah: Sunnah is the preferred way of the Prophet Muhammad that includes his teaching. The sources of the Sunnah are authentic Hadith (reports of the Prophet's sayings, doings and approvals) collections.
The True Meaning of "Jihad"
Jihad is usually associated with Islam and Muslims, but in fact, the concept of Jihad is found in all religions including Christianity, Judaism and political/economic ideologies, such as, Capitalism, Socialism, Communism, etc. Islam defines Jihad as striving and struggling for improvement as well as fighting back to defend one's self, honor, assets and homeland. Also, Jihad is interpreted as the struggle against evil, internal or external of a person or a society. Jihad, in Islam, means doing any or all but not limited to the following:
Learn, teach, and practice Islam in all aspects of one's life at all times to reach the highest and best education in order to benefit oneself, family and society.
Be a messenger of Islam everywhere, in every behavior and action.
Fight evil, wrongdoing, and injustice with all one's power by one's hand (action), with one's tongue (speech), or at least with one's heart (prayer).
Respond to the call for Jihad with money, effort, wisdom and life; yet, never fight a Muslim brother, a Muslim country, or a non-Muslim society that respects its treaties and harbors no aggressive designs against Islam or Muslims.
Suicide under any pretext is not condoned as Jihad in Islam.
Converting people to Islam by force or coercion is never Jihad but a crime, punishable by law.
The concept of Muslim men rushing out to kill themselves to get "70 dancing virgins" in Paradise, is really quite silly.
The fact of the matter is, the "companions of Paradise" are mentioned as being pure and so much above anything we might imagine on earth, so as to indicate to us they are perpetually "virgin" and are not "touched" by men or devils.
The words "perpetual virgin" even in English, should give anyone the understanding these are not such as we have known on earth.
There can be no mistaking the meaning in the Arabic language as to the purity and innocence of these companions.
The Levels of Jihad
A personal struggle within one's self to submit to Allah, fight evil within one's self, achieve higher moral and educational standards - Inner Jihad.
Jihad against evil, injustice and oppression within one's self, family and society - Social Jihad.
Jihad against all that prevents Muslims from servitude to God (Allah), people from knowing Islam, defense of a Muslim society (country), retribution against tyranny, and/or when a Muslim is removed from their homeland by force - Physical Jihad or an armed struggle.
The Quran defines physical Jihad as being the highest level of Jihad that one can undertake. Its reward is eternal Paradise. Muslims also know that all humans are accountable for what they have done during their life on this earth. Muslims will be asked about what they did with their lives and their level of submission to Allah on the Day of Judgment.
Does Jihad mean Holy War?
In Islam, there is no such thing as holy war. This terminology was generated in Europe during the Crusades and their war against Muslims. Islam recognizes Jews and Christians as the "People of the Book" because they all follow the Prophet Abraham, believing in Moses' and Jesus' teachings. For many centuries, Muslims have peacefully coexisted with Christians, Jews, and people of other faiths, maintaining social, business, political and economic treaties. Islam respects all humans and faiths as long as there is no religious oppression, forbidding Muslims from serving Allah, preventing others from learning about Islam, and not respecting treaties. For more information on the topic of Jihad see the brochure Jihad Explained or request brochure #18 from the III&E, the publisher of this article.
Who is authorized to call for Jihad as a war?
Jihad must be performed according to Islamic rules and regulations and only for the sake or in the service of Allah. The physical or military Jihad must be called by a Muslim authority, such as, a president or head of a Muslim country after due consultations with the learned leadership.
What Does Islam Say about Terrorism?
The term "terrorism" does not exist in the Quran or the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad. If the terms "terrorist or terrorism" are derived from a verb used in the Quran, such as 5:33 describing a "Muslim's" terrorist acts, it is in condemnation and prescribes most severe punishment. Islam is a religion and a way of life that does not separate politics from religion. Islam is a religion of mercy, unity and most importantly peace with one's self and others, to defend not to fight. Allah said in His Book the Quran:
"God does not forbid you from showing kindness and dealing justly with those who have not fought you about religion and have not driven you out of your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them. God loves just dealers." [Noble Quran 60:8]
"Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not begin aggression, for God loves not aggressors." [Noble Quran 2:190]
"If they seek peace, then seek you peace and trust in God for He is the Hearer, the Knower." [Noble Quran 8:61]
" and let not the hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is next to piety; and fear Allah, for Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [Noble Quran 5:8]
"But (remember that an attempt at) requiting evil may, too, become an evil: hence whoever pardons (his foe) and makes peace, his reward rests with Allah- for, verily He does not love transgressors." [Noble Quran 42:40]
"The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! He between whom and thee there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a bosom friend. [Noble Quran 41:34]
Some of the Prophet Muhammad's Teachings (Sunnah)
He prohibited Muslim soldiers from killing women, children and the elderly, or cut a palm tree, and he advised them, "do not betray, do not be excessive, do not kill a newborn child."
"Whoever has killed a person having a treaty with the Muslims shall not smell the fragrance of Paradise, though its fragrance is found for a span of forty years."
"The first cases to be adjudicated between people on the Day of Judgment will be those of bloodshed." Killing is the second major sin in Islam.
"Truly your blood, your property, and your honor are inviolable."
"There is a reward for kindness shown to every living animal or human."
Islam and Human Rights
The Quran and Sunnah encourage Muslims to respect the life and property of all mankind.
In an Islamic State these rights are considered sacred, whether a person is Muslim or not.
Islam protects honor, forbids insulting others, and/or making fun of them.
Islam rejects certain individuals or nations being favored because of their wealth, power, and/or race.
All Muslims believe that Allah created all humans free and equal, only to be distinguished from each other on the basis of God-consciousness or piety and never on the basis of race, color or ethnicity.
Islam is a practical religion that respects all human beings and it was revealed for all mankind. Its message is that of peace and submission to Allah. Muslims believe in all the Prophets mentioned in the Bible, and the Quran. The Quran shares many moral teachings of the Old Testament and the New Testament. These three religions (and their books) were founded upon the revelations by One True God, Allah. For more information on this topic please see the brochure Human Rights In Islam or ask for brochure #7 from the III&E, the publisher of this article.
Jihad in the Bible
Let us see what the Bible has to say about Jihad in the meaning of war and violence. The following verses are from the Bible, New International Version (NIV), 1984
"Do not allow a sorceress to live. Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death. Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed." [Exodus 22:18-20]
"This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'each man strap a sword to his side. Go back and forth through the camp from one end to the other, each killing his brother and friend and neighbor.' The Levites did as Moses commanded and that day about three thousand of the people died." [Exodus 32:27-28]
"The LORD said to Moses, 'Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. (Moses ordered) "Now kill all the boys. And kill every women who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man." [Numbers 31:1-18]
(Jesus said) "But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them - bring them here and kill them in front of me." [Luke 19:27]
"He (Jesus) said to them, 'But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." [Luke 22:36]
Differential treatment
Muslims follow a religion of peace, mercy and forgiveness. If an individual Muslim were to commit an act of terrorism, this person would be guilty of violating the basic tenants of Islam.
When Timothy McVeigh bombed the Oklahoma City building, no American or Christian was labeled as a terrorist or was the target of hate crimes. When Irish Christians carry out acts of terrorism against each other and on the British Isles, the Christian religion is not blamed but individuals or their political agenda. Unfortunately, the same is not true for American Muslims and Arabs. The vast majority of Muslims or Arabs have no association with the violent events around the world yet Islam is invoked with terrorism. It is unfair to 1.5 billion Muslims of the world and religion of Islam.
Criteria of guilt
Innocent until proven guilty in an open court is an accepted universal principle of justice along with liberty and freedom for all humankind. However, the U.S. failed to practice the same principles for those who are not U.S. nationals. Even worse, the U.S. is creating military tribunal for secret trials because there may be inadequate evidence to prove Arabs and Muslims guilty in open courts.
May Allah bless us all and purify our hearts from all misunderstanding, malice, hate and anger.
by M. Amir Ali, Ph.D.

Love Psychic Reading

Psychic readers are performing important roles in the lives of individuals. Psychics emerged in the first place to enable people find solutions to their problems. Since human beings continue to exist and in this earth the work of the psychics must continue to be in high demand because humanity will continue to have problems which psychics must be called onto resolve. Perhaps one of the most important thing one needs in life apart from life itself is the issue of love. Everybody needs to love and to be loved. Where the need to be loved becomes more manifested is when it comes to marriage, because love remains the basics and foundation of any marriage arrangement. That is why psychic love is very important. People are always on the look out for the services of love psychic so that they can find solution to their love problem and their marriage life.
I do not know of anybody who does not need the services of love psychic. Psychic help people manage and stabilize their love and even their marriage life. Perhaps a speciality that is more often consulted is the love psychic practitioners. Their services are in high demand because nobody is in a hurry to do away with the relationship he or she has made with a loved one. Love provides the therapy which lovers need to strengthen their love life for their common good. Where love psychic services have become more compelling is in a situation where couples are engaged in a relationship that may lead to marriage or co habitation such couple do seek the services and advise of psychics on what type of behaviour they will put up to strengthen and enhance their love life.
Coming in contact with the services of psychic is no longer a big deal these days. Because their services are often sought for, a lot of people can easily tell where they can be contacted and which of the practitioners offer reliable and trusted services. There are great psychics one easily consult and enjoy the services they offer. A very notable place where one can engage the services of love psychic is in the UK. In short psychic network known as Psychic Realm offer the best of psychic services one can ever think of. It is a trusted network with many qualified psychics of all abilities and skills. They are available twenty four hours and their support team are always online also twenty four hours a day.
Trust psychic network like the Psychic Realm are available in the internet. With an internet connection one can get connected to Psychic Realm network and any of the other reliable and trusted networks available in the internet. There is always a toll free line which one who is in need of love psychic can dial and get connected for those that want to do the consultation through the online phone psychic. The internet is of course the most popular channel through which clients get in touch with psychic and other psychic skills and abilities. The internet features provide cost effective methods as one can even undertake psychic readings for free and those who decide to go for a paid service pay what can be considered as a peanut. The services of love psychic can also be enjoyed through internet chat. Internet has several chat features provided by the different search engines. These search engines chat features are effectively used by the love psychic such that any interested person can be online with any of them in real time.
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Human Behaviour and Depression

Each one of us has his or her own personality and several characteristics that we believe are unique to us, but human behavior is not controlled by our will. Behavioural programs that work automatically according to the stimuli that we receive from the environment are the primary controllers of human behavior. The human being is an animal and his rationale is not active most of the time. On the contrary, the majority of our decisions and actions are made based on these automatic behavioural programs rather than based on our own thoughts.

We have to also consider the existence of several characteristics in our psychic sphere that are peculiar to our psychological type. There are four psychological types which depend on the most developed of the four psychological function in each person's psychic sphere--the four psychological functions are thoughts, feelings, sensations, and intuitions. However, since each person's attitude is either introverted or extroverted, the psychological types become 8--4 each of introverted and extroverted types.

The introverted types tend to judge everything according to their personal opinion while the extroverted types tend to accept the general opinion about reality. Their previous disposition affects their judgement, which is always one sided, since each type completely despises what the opposite type considers important. This way, neither one nor the other can perceive all the existing points of the objective reality or of the inner reality when they judge them.

The automatic behavioural programs decide on our behalf what we will do all the time, even though we think we are doing everything we do because we ourselves have decided to do so. We can't really perceive that our reactions are automatic and we think that we can control our behaviour completely.

However, some stimuli can make us "lose our head" and without understanding how, we may get involved in very strange situations.

So, the strong stimuli and the automatic animal reaction combined with the one-sided vision of each psychological type and with the peculiar characteristics that determine their behaviour depending on which psychological function dominates them the most, are responsible for each person's behaviour.

This way, what happens is that each person makes several mistakes, without understanding what they are really doing. They may even do several things that are completely in opposition to their character because they are dominated by the wild side of their conscience, where psychological functions that were not developed through consciousness remain.

The result is a suffocating feeling, an unbearable and unexplainable depression that intrigues very much the person that feels this way, because they can't understand what is wrong.

Their psychic condition becomes worse with time and some day they feel so completely lost in a labyrinth of problems that cannot be ever solved that they think about committing suicide, as if this was the unique solution left for them.

Otherwise, they start taking treatment to cure their depression and their frustration increases because they realize that they are feeling worse instead of better, because their real problems remain unsolved...

This is when the free and safe psychotherapy through dream interpretation can save their life! Only the unconscious that resides inside the human psychic sphere is very well aware of the exact mistakes each person made and how they can be corrected.

The unconscious is a free doctor that sends us very helpful messages through our dreams everyday in order to help us overcome all the problems provoked by our wild nature. Dream decoding is the safest solution for desperate people, who cannot understand why they feel so sad and cannot bear their existence. It is a miraculous solution that can save anyone, no matter how awful they may feel and however impossible the solution for their problems may appear.

However, the unconscious is a very demanding doctor and its psychotherapy depends on the patient's cooperation. This is not a magical way through which a human being can get rid of all his or her problems without doing anything, but a miracle he himself has to create, by exactly following the wise orientation received in dreams, even when the person doesn't agree with the suffering through which one will have to pass in order to be cured. One has to change one's behaviour and learn how to be calm and always wise. This is like a very delicate and dangerous surgical operation. Its success is guaranteed only if the patient exactly follows the doctor's orientation.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.

secret human-behaviour-strategy-deals-with-relationship-problems

When relationship problems strike, there are key steps you can take to get your relationship back on track.

It's very likely that your partner will not want to participate, so if your partner is not interested in getting involved and has given up, just by changing your behaviour you can start to change theirs without them knowing.

It is very likely that if you and your partner are in conflict for whatever reason that you have been holding back on all the things you know they will like. This is your way of punishing them for hurting you.

The problem with punishing your partner is that this behaviour will get you less of what you really want, your partner will attach bad feelings to you and this can really damage your relationship because all these little problems can build up in a persons mind.

Understand what you really want before you decide to take action.

What you probably really want is to feel love, security and significance. Punishing your partner will just drive them even further away resulting in you feeling worse with the possibility of the conflict escalating.

So what you do is the reverse, but in this special way.

Decide what behaviour you want from them and every time they behave the way you want, you'll reward them with love or a kiss, something you know they will really like, of course you don't tell them your plan.

You do this every time they do what you want.

What you will discover is this act of love is a thousand times more powerful than any partner repelling punishment. If you have found something they really like receiving from you'll notice that they'll look for more ways to attach doing what you want to their great feelings.

Remember if you feel reluctant to try this, ask yourself how do you feel when your partner has a problem with your behaviour. Do you respond well when they become cross with you, do you want to help them and give them what they want? Of course not…

Suicide Signs Identify Them Before They Defeat You

Bullying is not only present in schools, but can be found all around us. Bullying can destroy peoples live and may even lead to an end in some peoples lives. Words are just as hurtful. Bullying can happen to anyone, no matter what age. Bullying can occur in schools, offices and in your own home.
It is common for adults and children to suffer in silence. The bullying slowly eating them up inside, until they can't take no more. Bullying is often untreated as schools and businesses, commonly fail to spot the signs. Schools and businesses commonly fail to prevent bullying, even when they are aware that it is occurring. This can prove to be very frustrating for any individual suffering from bullying. This can lead to a poor education, no job or even moving house, due to the lack of support.
There are different types of bullying. Firstly we have physical bullying, where a child is physically attacked. Weapons and the human body can both be used to cause physical harm. Verbal bullying includes name calling and harrassment and this is where people often suffer in silence. Verbal bullying does not just occur face to face, but people can be tormented and abused through cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is present through the use of electronic devices such as instant messaging services and the internet.
Some serious cases of bullying, can sadly lead to cases of suicide. It can be hard to identify the suicide signs, especially when you are not aware of any problems. Suicide is very unpleasant and most bullies, do not realize how badly their bullying is affecting others. The suicide ways are not very pleasant and no family should have to go through the pain, of knowing a member of their family was left feeling helpless. Imagine how hard it is to cope with bullying, day in day out. However those that suffer in silence and don't talk about their problems, will often be the ones who are worst hit.
Suicide warning signs can be difficult to identify, with many people suffering in silence. Suicide can affect friends and family leaving them confused. Suicide has been on the up rise in many countries. By having and understanding of the warning signs of suicide, more cases can help be prevented. Below are some of the following signs that people should be aware of:
1)People mentioning they want to kill, or hurt themselves. 2)Sudden bursts of rage or anger. 3)A feeling of being hopeless and trapped. 4)Unusual and risky behaviour. 5)Withdrawing themselves from people. 6)Disturbances in eating or sleeping patterns. 7)A lack of interest in hobbies. 8)Dependence on drugs or alcohol.
These are just a few of the signs that may become apparent. If a family member, work colleague of friend, who is close to you, is acting strange, it is important that you talk to them to try and understand the cause. This may help them to let out their feelings and help you to discover the problem. There are a large number of suicide warning signs which may be identifiable, so if you suspect someone is acting strange, you should look into the possible causes.

Maximizing Your Personal Energy Supply

Different governments, officials, environmental agencies exhort us to conserve the energy we use in order to save the environment and sustain our continued existence on the planet.
On a personal level I think that we also need to know how to conserve, focus and maximise our own personal supply of energy. We unconsciously dissipate and waste our energy on people, situations, thoughts, attitudes and events which do not serve us well. This leaves less space and energy for creating and attracting the kind of abundance that we want in our lives.
Interestingly enough I've also found that as I conserve, focus and thereby maximise my energy, I tend to use less energy on craving and acquiring "stuff", but more energy focusing on what is truly important to me, thereby helping the environment.
So here are 5 Ways to Maximise Your Personal Energy Supply.
1. Release Resistance
Releasing resistance will affect a profound change in your level of energy and how you view the world. Resistance often feels as though we are going against ourselves in order to satisfy some internal authority or a myriad of "shoulds" "oughts" and "have tos". It takes a tremendous amount of energy to be resistant.
Related feelings and behaviour include: procrastination, using willpower and discipline to effect change (otherwise known as "I Have To Struggle To Achieve What I Want"!), stubborness, inflexibility, wanting to be right rather than happy (a very popular one:), holding onto self limiting beliefs way past their sell by date.
Releasing resistance can be as easy as just making a decision to let go of whatever you are holding onto. Energy therapy also helps release resistance at a very deep level.
2. Reduce time watching TV
Watching TV unconsciously is very exhausting. Haven't you noticed that when you watch TV continuously and do little else, you become extremely tired? That's because you are merely a passive recipient of information that you're not fully engaged with. On an energetic level, taking in all of those rays from the TV (similar to a computer) is overstimulating on a physiological level. Of course while you are watch TV, it means that you're not doing something more productive.
Am I saying that you stop watching TV altogether? No, but to be more selective and watch only those programs that you are engaged with. I'd also say that stop watching the TV news - all of that manufactured fear really affects you on a cellular level. I find that my mindset, moods and overall energy improve significantly when I watch less TV.
3. Consciously create vacuums
Ever heard of the saying: "Nature abhors a vacuum". If you clean out an area of your life, you are giving the Universe a message to bring in something to replace it. This is otherwise known as energetic and/or physical clutter clearing. Start with either. Most people find it easier to start with clearing out the physical which has an effect on their energies. You are consciously creating the space for change to occur and inviting what you want into your life. This is much much easier than efforting to make things happen.
4. Avoid/deal with Energy Vampires
One of the quickest ways to get an energy boost is to disassociate yourself from those with those whose energy drains you. It is very effective. Unfortunately, it also becomes a little more difficult if they are your partner, member of your family, work colleagues or boss. It helps to develop a stronger set of boundaries and energetic protection, so that they are less likely to affect you in this way.
5. Create quiet time for yourself every day.
Not to do anything (unless it relaxes you), but just to clear and refresh your mind. We are human beings, not doings. There are times when our crowded schedule and minds don't allow space and time for the creative to be welcomed in. Einstein liked to go sailing in the afternoons after working in the morning. Okay, most of us don't have this opportunity, but you get the point.
If you only do one of the above, then your life will undergo a profound change.

Divorcing God

Divorcing God isn't easy-especially after a lifetime thinking you had a monopoly on truth. Truth you embraced as absolute simply because someone told you it was. It is even more difficult when you've spent the last twenty-eight years up on a pedestal inside a fishbowl.
Sometimes, divorce is the only way out of an unhealthy relationship. A woman has to get out, get her head screwed on straight, and then start over. I didn't divorce God, I divorced my husband, but at the time it felt like the same thing.
In a way, it was.
I've heard that Catholic nuns consider themselves married to God. I wasn't Catholic, I was Southern Baptist, but I'd married God all the same. Looking back on it now, if I'd known God wasn't a man, I wouldn't have felt like I had to. Most divorces don't occur overnight. Instead, a disconnect causes a crack. Over time the crack warps, widens, and finally an inciting incident pushes it over the edge. When, then, did my disconnect begin?
In her book Writing a Woman's Life, Carolyn Heilbrun defines the unambiguous woman as one who puts a man at the center of her life, allowing only to occur what honors his paramount position. Her desires, dreams and wishes are forever secondary.
I risked nothing to become such, for I'd spent my first seventeen years learning the "godly role" of a sanitized, unambiguous woman-and it is a short step from that to wife-yea, preacher's wife. For the sleep dust sprinkled in my eyes by my mother, who was herself, a captive of the times, had anesthetized my spirit.
Add to that the self-serving 'will of God' preached by a patriarchal religion, and enforced by my husband, a self-proclaimed 'man of God,' and my spirit, the essence of who I am, was sacrificed as surely as though I'd been nailed to a cross.
Even from conception my world was a wild combination of advance and retreat, then advance again. My body knew things long before my mind did. Even my birth was an on-and-off again affair, battered back and forth by the drama unfolding within my parent's relationship.
My mother never questioned nor modified life's answers given to her by others, for she believed in a world of certainties.
Do this, get that.
But when she did this, and that didn't pan out, she never doubted, for it didn't mean the answer wasn't correct. It just meant she had not done enough of that. She would redouble her efforts, believing that even in the failure, the problem wasn't in the answers she'd been given, but the effort she'd put forth. And since her husband, my father, marched to the beat of his own drum, he forever changed the equation.
Put simply, the problem wasn't the answers she'd been given, the problem was in the doing, or the lack thereof, so she tightened her hold on the answers while the questions of the world multiplied and sucked her down into the mire of dysfunction. My first glimpse that something was wrong, terribly wrong, came the morning after my wedding. Other than a severe downpour, my June 1957 church wedding went off without a glitch. Friends and family gathered with congratulations and celebration. The three-tiered wedding cake baked by my aunt tasted delicious. At the appropriate time-God forbid that I'd do anything inappropriate-I escaped to the bedroom, slipped out of the damp, white gown, and into a sky-blue suit and stood before the mirror. The girl staring back questioned whether it was true; had the wallflower really married the town's most eligible bachelor-the handsome twenty-three-year old preacher-boy? What a coup!
I was a kid playing grown up.
Barely seventeen, with another year of high school ahead of me, I had successfully fulfilled the expectations of my parents, of my peers, and of my church leaders. All was right with my world.
Until the next morning.
As we dressed, my husband sat tying his shoes. "There's one thing I need to tell you," he declared, glancing up at me, authority in his eyes. "God will always come first in my life. You'll be second-but God will be first." Then he stood, pulled his Bible out of the suitcase and opened it. "And we will read the Bible and pray together every day."
His well-intentioned words shattered something inside me, and the pieces tumbled to my feet, pieces of something undefined, yea unborn. I felt slapped, shoved aside. My role in the marriage would never be as an adult, but as a child with a male parent telling me what I would do-yea believe. The pious statement clearly defined the submissive wife. I was secondary. Further, when I needed an opinion, he'd give it to me. Our life together would be his life-not mine.
The disconnect had begun.
Before marriage, I had believed I was important to God and to him, but not now. Now, he and God came first, or his view of God, which, unquestionably, was the patriarchal Him. I came in a distant third.
What then was our marriage? Sacred? How could it be sacred, I wondered, when it is on the bottom of some pecking order.
A seed, a husk of that precious young woman burrowed deep into my soul, shut away from the sun, awaiting the call of the now.
Twenty-three years later, my preacher-foreign missionary-husband and I lived in El Paso, Texas, the cross-cultural city where drug pushers and gang members create their own 'axis of evil.' Where creators of graffiti compete with the majestic Franklin Mountains for attention, for immortality. Where, on the continuum of light and shadow; black and white; right and wrong, there is truth, not only on the ends, but at each point in between.
The day started no different than any other Monday for stay-at-home moms. My two oldest sons were at high school, my daughter at the junior high just blocks away, my husband at his office, and my toddler at home with me. Piles of laundry awaited their turn in the washer. Dirty dishes lay piled in the sink.
After forty years of self-doubt I had garnered courage and enrolled in community college the semester before. Now, at the end of my second semester, an upcoming final exam nagged me to study while I sat in a rocking chair cradling my limp two-year-old son, sick with bronchitis and asthma, his breath raspy, coughing.
From my vantage point I looked up to see my distressed-looking husband open the screen door and head back to the den. He didn't speak until he reached my side, but I knew bad news headed my way.
"My brother just called-your dad-just-just dropped dead of a heart attack," he finally choked out.
I pulled my sick baby to my heart and held him tight, numbness obliterating reality. "Why didn't he call me?" I finally asked, feeling slighted-wounded-that I hadn't received the call.
"He knew you and the baby were here by yourself," my husband explained.
"But it's my dad! He should have called me!"
Someone will call-Mother, my sister, brother, someone. I ached for the phone to ring, for my family to bring me into the loss. No one did. I strangely felt abandoned, cut out of the family. Everyone else was there in my hometown, but no one thought of me, 900 miles away. Neither my mother, nor my sister, nor my brother brought me into the family circle of grief by calling me and telling me my dad was dead-come home.
I recalled when I'd sat with the woman next door after her husband had dropped dead from a heart attack. How the neighbor had insisted on calling their only son, telling him, herself, of his dad's death. "No, no, that's my job," she'd said when the police offered to call. "He needs to hear this from his mom." How comforting, how loving that must have felt for the son.
I waited, not even understanding why the call was so important to me, but eventually I gave in, picked up the phone and called Mom. "Yeah, he's gone," she mumbled. "Are you coming?"
We loaded ourselves, four kids, suitcases and funeral clothes, into a small Chevy Citation and headed across desert at five o'clock that evening.
Earlier that day my father had gone home for lunch, quickly 'inhaled' his food, as always, and left again. It was May, in southeast Texas. Hot. Humid.
He always wore long sleeve khaki shirts and pants, and even died dressed in a pair while sitting in a boat in front of a bait shop.
I wanted to bury him in a suit of khakis, but Mom chose a blue suit, her one chance, she said, to dress him her way. Handsome, he was too, with his red hair and ruddy complexion. But rock hard and cold when I placed my hand on his cheek.
I didn't recognize the event for what it was-the beginning-the first day of my estrangement from God. The day my soul wrinkled when I overheard my mom talking to friends and family who called their regrets.
"I just really feel Jesus helping me get through this; if it wasn't for Jesus, I don't know what I'd do," Mother would say.
I didn't "just really feel Jesus helping me." Instead, I felt sucked into black, soul-crushing nothingness.
Jesus helped her-why not me? Perhaps this compassionate God I'd declared existed-didn't. Or maybe I wasn't worthy enough.
All I felt was pain, abandoned by my father, the one man in my life that I desperately wanted to love and accept me. And now my chances were gone.
Forever.
I'd done all the right things. I'd married a preacher-a good man-making the family proud, receiving my father's blessing, a blessing based not on me, but the marriage. A marriage that raised the family's worth in the community and church. A marriage that ended up making my father feel guilty, for years later I learned that when we came to visit, he hid his beer under the bed so he didn't offend my husband.
So, at 41, I took the first halting steps down off the pedestal of preacher's wife, yea-foreign missionary-and into wilderness, into the dead end of me.
It seemed the sun came up each day in a different corner of the sky. The pieces of bread I'd dropped along the way now became boulders blocking my path. I grieved alone. Family and friends offered comfort, but it didn't bring my father back, nor did it bring back this god-person who seemed to be there for everyone except me.
For the last 41 years, I had sacrificed me to become another person's definition of who I should be. I had gained a halo when I'd married the preacher-boy, and then later the halo had grown bigger and brighter when we became foreign missionaries. But now, after assisting hundreds of people in their spiritual journey, or telling myself I had, when I needed God the most, He wasn't there. I felt deserted and disillusioned. God didn't exist. I felt no Presence or love. No comfort, nor compassion. I felt no empathy, no heavenly understanding.
Smack in the middle of wilderness I began questioning what I'd been taught by the church, by my husband, by Christian scripture, by well-intentioned church members, other missionaries. At first I questioned in secret, still convinced there was something wrong with me, not God.
I enrolled as a freshman at the University of Texas at El Paso and a whole world opened up, a world I'd never known existed. I learned to think autonomously, analytically. I began raising questions about "truth." Questions that threatened my husband and his authority over me.
I began to see how I had bought the patriarchal myth and allowed my husband to be my authority figure-my parent-yea, my God-and, if not God, then definitely God's spokesman with a straight line to truth and divine will.
So I tried telling my story, but what I said threatened folks in my world, no one wanted to listen. I grew so exhausted from trying to be heard that finally I walked out past everyone, unnoticed. My body didn't leave, so they thought I was still there, but my heart was long gone.
Over time I learned to stand up for myself, claim what I believed, what I stood for, what I didn't stand for, and what I absolutely would not stand for and, as you might expect, this took a severe toll on my marriage.
One day my husband confronted me, asking, "Can't you go back and be like you used to be?"
I could try, I thought, but if I did, I'd die. Oh, my body may last a little longer, but my soul, already in a death-throe, would wither and blow away.
"I can't!" I cried, "I like me so much better now-for the first time in my life I like me!" "But I like you less!" he said, pain crawling down his face in deep deadening lines, overflowing, spilling onto the floor, creeping towards me. "I always felt superior to you," he continued, "but I don't anymore! Now I feel inferior!"
I knew his words to be true, always had, even felt it myself, but I didn't realize he did-or would admit it to himself, much less to me.
I got in my car and drove to White Sands National Park, climbed atop a dune of sparkling sand and watched the wind whip the 270 square acres of sand-piled desert. Watched the grains blow into the air, scatter, and then sift down in new locations. They ever advanced, ever changed, yet remained within the confines of their primordial plot. I squinted off into the distance, still hoping for God to top the dunes on a big white stallion and carry me off to glory.
No one came.
I shut my eyes, gritty against dashed hope, knowing what I had to do. Knowing if I didn't, I would surely die.
Years of guilt, passivity, submissiveness and domination had taken its toll. After a lifetime spent in the midst of a high-demand theology that proved unhealthy for me, my spirit felt chewed up and spit out, mangled, desiccated. Theology that taught me I was only complete when I served my husband, and yes obeyed; that I must submit to his control as if I too, were a child needing a watchful parent. A lifetime filled with holy-sounding platitudes and meaningless clichés.
It is unauthentic to pass off as Truth, experiences not yours, simply because other people tell you it is. I had spent a lifetime doing so. Actually, I didn't know I had a choice, and to stay in my marriage-I didn't.
But when you learn you've glibly handed out pat answers to life's most complicated questions; when you learn, despite sincere effort, you're the phony; that the answers, yea, the 'truths' you'd given weren't yours at all, but those given to you within a patriarchal world view, you must go back to the beginning.
And go back, I did. My wilderness wandering would last several more years, years spent reading, creating questions, discovering my own connection with God-as-I- Know-God. Not the patriarchal God of my past, but as a woman also created in the image of God. Through it all, I've learned that wilderness is a sacred place, and that while divorce is an end-it is also a beginning.

Abnormal Psychology - Human Behaviour

Common psychologists simply describe the psychological diseases and their manifestations. However, through dream interpretation you have a clear explanation of why your disease appeared in your psyche and more importantly, how you can be cured and stop having abnormal behaviour.

What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.

A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.

When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.

This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.

The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.

The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.

The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.

Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.

The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.

Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.

We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.

These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.

If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.

Abnormal Psychology - Human Behaviour

Common psychologists simply describe the psychological diseases and their manifestations. However, through dream interpretation you have a clear explanation of why your disease appeared in your psyche and more importantly, how you can be cured and stop having abnormal behaviour.

What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.

A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.

When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.

This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.

The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.

The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.

The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.

Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.

The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.

Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.

We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.

These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.

If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.

I greatly simplified Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation, which is the only accurate one, and now you can easily learn how to decipher the mysterious messages of your dreams, so that you'll be able to develop all your capacities and live happily, having a balanced and wise behaviour.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.

Five Ways to Irritate People Using the DISC Model of Human Behavior

Here are five sure-fire ways to irritate other people using the DISC model of human behavior:

Tell them how they're feeling or what they're thinking.
Explain to them why they did what they did or said what they said.
Decide for them what they will want from a given situation.
Analyze them and their behaviors.
Help them to be more like you.
I could continue with the list, but I'm sure you see the point. Any time we do any of the above using the DISC model, we are using the model as a weapon against the other person rather than as a tool to understand them more completely.

I teach the DISC model. I use the DISC model. I like the understanding it gives me of people with other viewpoints and perspectives. And, I recognize that it only reveals general patterns of behavior that apply to populations of people rather than absolutes that apply to individuals.

The model and the terms used as descriptors in the model come from statistical averages of population behaviors and perspectives. Using it to define, label, or box-in another person violates one of the first things I learned in my college statistics class: Never use a population statistic to describe an individual observation.

I encourage you to learn how to understand other people. I even encourage you to study the DISC model as a simple way to learn how to see the world from another person's perspective. I strongly discourage anyone from using the model as a weapon to harm, judge, or manipulate others.

DISC Model of Human Behavior - A Brief Summary

As a teenager and young adult, I thought people were totally irrational and unpredictable. In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas of their lives and in many situations.

Understanding these patterns helped me to realize that people are not totally irrational. Most people simply see the world, prioritize their activities, communicate with others, and act according to relatively predictable patterns of behavior.

The model I learned, and eventually studied to the point of becoming a master trainer, is the DISC model of human behavior.

Before we even get into this article too deeply, I want to emphasize the statement that people tend to do things in predictable ways. I do not mean anything in this article to box people in, label people, or to imply that any of us can know everything about any other person merely by understanding their primary behavioral style (actually styles). Still, understanding the model can form a strong basis for learning to communicate with and understand other people in better and more effective ways.

That being said, here's a brief summary of how the model describes normal human behavior.

The foundation for the DISC model comes from the work Dr. William Moulton Marston in the 1920's. Dr. Marston was, at the time, a Harvard psychologist. From his research, he developed a theory that people tend to develop their self-concept based on one of four factors - Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness, or Compliance. This theory is the foundation for the DISC theory as it is usually taught today.

Over the years, other psychologists and behavioral specialists developed a number of different assessment, teaching tools, and models to apply Marston's theory in practice. If you search the web for DISC assessments, you will find a large number of assessment and measurement tools based on the DISC model readily available.

The founder and president of Personality Insights, Inc of Atlanta, Georgia, Dr. Robert Rohm, has developed a fantastic collection of practical resources based on the the DISC model with a positive focus.

As taught by Personality Insights consultants, the DISC model is described by a circle divided into quadrants to represent the full range of normal human behavior.

First, divide the circle in half horizontally to give you upper and lower halves to represent the "motor" or "pace" drive. The upper half of the circle represents outgoing or fast-paced people. The lower half represents reserved or slower-paced people. In general, outgoing people move fast, talk fast, and decide fast. And, more reserved people generally speak more slowly and more softly than outgoing people. Reserved people also often prefer to consider things more thoroughly before deciding.

Next, divide the circle vertically to give you left and right halves to represent the "compass" or "priority" drive. The left half represents task-oriented people. The right half represents people-oriented people. Task-oriented people tend to focus on logic, data, results and projects. People-oriented people tend to focus on experiences, feelings, relationships, and interactions with other people.

Combining these two ways of dividing the circle gives us four quadrants that break the circle into four broad descriptors for normal human behavior...

D-type individuals are represented by the upper left quadrant. They are outgoing and task-oriented. They tend to be Dominant and Decisive. They usually focus on results and the bottom-line.

I-type individuals are represented by the upper right quadrant. The are outgoing and people-oriented. They tend to be Inspiring and Influencing. They usually focus on talking and having fun.

S-type individuals are represented by the lower right quadrant. They are reserved and people-oriented. They tend to be Supportive and Steady. They usually focus on peace and harmony.

C-type individuals are represented by the lower left quadrant. They are reserved and task-oriented. They tend to be Cautious and Conscientious. They usually focus on facts and rules.

In practice, very few people exhibit behavioral patterns that fall neatly within any single quadrant. The vast majority of people generally exhibit at least two of the four basic traits in their everyday behaviors. Considering all of the different ways to combine the four traits and the varying intensities of the traits, a typical 24-question personality profile assessment can create 19,680 distinct and different profile types.

Describing the full range of application of the model is far beyond the scope of this article. In practice, simply understanding the four different basic behavioral styles creates a map for understanding ourselves and others more completely so that we can connect, communicate, and cooperate in more effective and productive ways.

Abnormal Psychology - Human Behaviour

Common psychologists simply describe the psychological diseases and their manifestations. However, through dream interpretation you have a clear explanation of why your disease appeared in your psyche and more importantly, how you can be cured and stop having abnormal behaviour.

What is normal is not always what is balanced and really good for each person, but abnormal behaviour is certainly far from the known behavioural patterns and causes damage to the person and their environment.

A wild and violent conscience is inherent in the human psyche . I discovered this when I continued Carl Jung's neglected research in the dark region of the psyche through dream interpretation. The human being cannot have a balanced behavior, even when one follows the common behavioural patterns of society, which are considered normal.

When we observe abnormal behaviour and we try to understand its psychology and how we can eliminate what causes problems, we observe that the wild conscience invades the human part, with several strange ideas, sensations and feelings. This is how the craziness inherent in the primitive conscience starts causing violent behaviour in the human side, and the person becomes aggressive.

This invasion can have many forms and appear camouflaged in many guises. The first signs of the invasion are usually the appearance of fear and suspicion. Neurotic patients are afraid of other human beings.

The craziness existent in the anti-conscience is a result of the disorganized development of the conscience since its formation. In order to reach a stage where the conscience would be happy, it would have to work very hard and organize its reactions, but it has not been programmed and it was developed without planning, which is why the result was the formation of chaos.

The unconscious psychic sphere that creates dreams is a completely developed human conscience that reached sanctity and can cure us from the craziness inherent in our psychic spheres. Once cured, we will develop all our capacities, be peaceful and always do what is good for us and our community.

The wild anti-conscience and the wise unconscious are constantly fighting in our psyche. The anti-conscience wants to destroy our human conscience, while the wise unconscious tries to save and develop our human conscience to the fullest, so that we may live free of the horrors of craziness.

Psychological health, balance and wisdom can be found only in goodness, forgiveness and piety. However, the human being doesn't forgive one's enemies and is totally cruel in front of those who need support and help.

The behaviour that is considered normal is actually not healthy because we are selfish, and selfishness is pure craziness. The wild anti-conscience manages to influence and invade the conscience using the person's ego as a channel.

Only when the human being learns how to be sensitive and reasonable will one live peacefully and happily, having a truly balanced and wise behaviour.

We need guidance to cultivate sensitivity and develop all the psychological functions, since three of them do not function as they should and only one psychological function dominates our psychic spheres. The wise unconscious knows exactly how to help us and this is why it sends us messages through dreams.

These messages are incomprehensible for the conscience because they could be distorted by the anti-conscience. This fact proves that there are two parts in the human conscience and one of them shall not understand what the unconscious tells the human part because these are instructions about how to transform the wild part in human.

If the wild conscience learned what the unconscious explains to the human side, it would distort these messages. This is why you have to learn how to interpret your dreams, in the same way you learn how to translate one language to another.

I greatly simplified Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation, which is the only accurate one, and now you can easily learn how to decipher the mysterious messages of your dreams, so that you'll be able to develop all your capacities and live happily, having a balanced and wise behaviour.